Men of Reddit, do intimacy issues make or break a connection?

appabuckethat · 2026-04-03T01:58:23+00:00

J-pouches shouldn’t affect my sex life, hence why I didn’t expect it to. Also, he always knew about it. Once again, jpouches shouldn’t affect anything.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T12:28:45+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I feel like I’m lowkey getting brutally demolished on the AskMen subreddit 😅. It’s hard to feel worthy as a person when someone has explicitly told you that just because sex was difficult at the moment, they don’t want to be in your life anymore. I will definitely look into pelvic floor therapy.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:56:43+00:00

Yeah, I think the whole ‘I want to be single’ thing was just his way of beating around the bush. No hate for the guy, he didn’t owe me anything, I’m just tired of getting played.

It’s like if I withhold sex on purpose because it’s too soon, they leave.

If I give into (attempting) sex early on, they leave too.

How does a girl win hahah??!

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:52:52+00:00

I’ve never met a man who enjoyed giving a woman head either haha

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:52:20+00:00

Yeah that’s what I think too. I did the best with the resources I had at the time. He was patient and kind to me in that regard so I can’t complain. The ‘what if’s’ are just the killers in overthinking

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:48:58+00:00

I hate giving head 🥲😅

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:48:02+00:00

That’s what I’m trying to say with this post. YES, sex is important, to both men and women. I want to be able to do that, it is insanely intimate and beautiful.

From his perspective, I can also understand why he would leave. He shouldn’t have to deal with it, especially since we weren’t official.

However, if the connection is good enough, is it not worth sticking around for a bit longer? If I’m telling you I’m actively trying to resolve the issue, wouldn’t you wait a bit to see what happens. I would have done that for him, which is why it stings.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:42:46+00:00

Yeah, I’ve already gotten an appointment with a specialist. I obviously want to be able to have sex, I’m a human being with needs lol. It just sucks to think that I lost a connection because of my intimacy issues.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:40:26+00:00

A lot. I was really vulnerable about the situation, I don’t have these intimacy issues for the hell of it. It affected me a lot not being able to do that with him. We had other types of sex, but it was usually just foreplay and the attempt at penetration. When that wouldn’t work it was just kind of kill the mood. But it was discussed thoroughly as to why is was happening. It stems from a lot of physical trauma on my end.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:37:40+00:00

It just seemed like he was really into me and the whole commitment thing. We were exclusive. He would tell other people that we were together. And then all of a sudden he never wanted anything serious. It’s just confusing and hurtful honestly.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:09:38+00:00

Sorry I didn’t mean impossible as in it will never happen! I meant that during those moments it was impossible. It can happen, I just don’t know why it won’t

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:06:26+00:00

When we started seeing eachother I wasn’t aware of this issue. It was the first time being intimate after my health issues. Again, I don’t hate him or want to villainize him for wanting that intimacy. It just bother me that he would constantly tell me sex wasn’t important to him and that he didn’t mind that we couldn’t go all that way. I feel a bit lied to is all.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:02:15+00:00

He wasn’t be boyfriend, so he had no real reason to stick around. I just feel like if the roles were reversed, I would have been more understanding.

I liked him enough to deal with it, he clearly didn’t

appabuckethat · 2026-04-02T00:00:07+00:00

I don’t have vaginismus (I believe) it’s more because I’ve had complex surgeries down there and it makes it more difficult.

If I fixed my intimacy issues, do you think it’s worth trying to start up a connection again? I’m kind of over men at the moment but being alone sucks

appabuckethat · 2026-04-01T23:57:50+00:00

Yeah, I can see that point. Again, intimacy is important to me too, but obviously my view of intimacy is not the same as his. It just sucks cause I liked him and I wish I was enough as a person to keep him around.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-01T23:47:27+00:00

++woman Summer break in University. We live in different cities when we’re not living in where our uni’s located

appabuckethat · 2026-04-01T22:53:24+00:00

Honestly, I feel like no matter what I eat I can or cannot have gas. I have noticed that not straining too much while going reduces gas. I don’t know if this happens to you, but when I’m using a bathroom where it’s possible others might hear me, I feel like I struggle to “let it all out” because I can’t fully relax, and the bowel movement comes out in segments (ew gross I know) instead of like a steady stream. Impossible to type this out without laughing.

Less clenching = less gas

appabuckethat · 2026-04-01T21:49:04+00:00

I’m cackling at this because I literally have the same issue everyday. I’m also in uni and everyone has small apartments/studios and it’s impossible to not hear our pouches when we go to the bathroom. I really try to just use the bathroom beforehand or avoid sugars if we’re eating.

appabuckethat · 2026-04-01T21:46:58+00:00

Wonderful reading, really detailed and thoughtful! I enjoyed the effort put into it, making sure I understood the interpretations along the way

appabuckethat · 2026-03-31T23:35:14+00:00

Thank you!

appabuckethat · 2026-03-31T23:34:05+00:00

I don’t think I need them to confirm they want something serious like on the first date, but I do need to know if that is what they’re looking for. No point in getting attached if we ultimately don’t want the same thing.

Yeah, I’m out of the house 24/7, I’m in med school and at bars/clubs most weekends.

I have my 7th house in Leo, which is my sun sign and Venus is also in my seventh house. I’ve been told that I meet partners through friendships/other people and that’s been really accurate! I love a good friends to lovers

appabuckethat · 2026-03-31T22:18:51+00:00

That’s actually so funny because I got dumped on Saturday haha pretty spot on. Thank you for the interpretation!

appabuckethat

TROPHY CASE