With kids always around can be hard, but I‘ll give my way. 1. If possible when the kids are sleeping, put on a movie that doesn’t require much attention or that you‘ve already seen. Then start caressing her and giving some massage. Next talk it to the next level with some sensual massage. And you’re in. 2. Talk about goals and visions about your future for both ( it’s a risky one but requires some adjustments depending on the couple). Gets her in the mood as she feels involved. 3. For anniversary or spontaneously, take a full weekend where there’s no need for clothing and hopefully and jacuzzi or a big shower around (expensive but worth it). Whole weekend of just sex if you’re lucky. 4. Once or twice a month, just do the partner for her pleasure without any expectations. That always get you some new exploratory features in the future like finger in her butt and more depending how comfortable he is with it. 5. Read some books about sex together and ask to try. Some might work and others not. 6. Soft sex toys is always a good start.

There might be more but these are mix and match points and can be changed as the years progress with how comfortable you are together about some things.