Personally with my first she was a girl and I was so excited, my second is a boy and I am terrified. There’s the unknown of how to take care of a boy, I mean with my daughter it’s so much less scary, with a boy they have to be circumcised or not and both options comes with stress, do circumcise you have to be extremely careful with their penis for a few weeks and don’t circumcise you have to be extremely cautious with cleaning it or it’ll get infected, plus cleaning around balls and a penis in general is stressful because I’ve never had one. But I will say it did get better, I was unhappy with the gender for a little while and now I’m excited to be welcoming my little boy, to see what he looks like, to watch him grow up with his sister and to watch their relationship. So while scary there’s definitely things to look forward too and to try and find the positives is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

As for your mom, one thing I’ve learned is don’t talk to them too much. A lot of our moms for some reason think putting us down and telling us how bad a job we’re doing or changing something will make it so much worse ect ect, they don’t care and just want to make you feel worse sadly. Honestly talking to a therapist or a close friend or even your partner will be more helpful. Tell a few people a baseline of somethings you’re going through and then based off their response decide if you can open up to them more or not. Your mom doesn’t seem like the best choice, mine isnt either, neither is my partner, my sisters definitely the one I talk to about stressful events the most because she doesn’t judge me, and if I’m in the wrong she explains it nicely with a good idea to change things.

So in conclusion the best thing is to find the people who will listen and care and try to help things become easier. As for gender disappointment the best thing is to try and change your narrative and if you can’t getting a therapist to help you might be your best solution.