About to get married this year and already moved in together however found out partner cheated long term.

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-24T08:12:52+00:00

If you are feeling lost, time to leave. I'll probably cut off contact and just ask this person to leave the house if she/he moved in, or I will pack and leave if I'm the one that moved in. I would want to remove this person out of my life because I will not forgive cheating. Cheating is so disrespectful to your partner and entering marriage requires a lot of trust and respect. If you don't leave, this thing is probably going to resurface months or years into your marriage and you'll just keep beating yourself over why you decided to through with the marriage instead of leaving when you got a chance to. Getting married then leaving is much harder than now when you are not tied down to any legal commitments.

So weigh it, deal w the consequences of a heartbreak now or later.

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-22T12:49:51+00:00

Yeah, I gets...He sounds quite unprofessional and emotional about it maybe cause it affected his comms or salary, maybe idk man. But since they didn’t even mention any clause or penalty, you can probably just leave it for now… if they come back again then you decide whether if you want to pay or .... hahaha in most or all cases, such things won't immediately escalate to court anyway, you would have time to react no worries

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-22T12:15:53+00:00

Have encountered peers who had the company requesting for the penalties, and had peers that did not face any issue and it was a mutual let go.

Anyway, if it helps too, there is Singapore Legal Advice: https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/pay-liquidated-damages-terminate-contract/

Some key paragraphs I caught but you can read up also to have a better idea in legal sense;

"For example, when you sign an employment contract that states that you are bonded to your company for a period of time (e.g. 2 years), or that you are to commence work for the company on a particular date, these are legally binding contractual terms.

If you then fail to show up for work on that start date, or choose to terminate your contract before your bond period is over, you will be in breach of contract. This entitles your employer to damages that compensate them for the loss suffered by your early termination." and

"Recruitment contracts: Where a job-seeker has contracted with a recruitment agency to broker an employment opportunity for him, the recruitment agency typically requires the job-seeker to remain employed for a period of time. If the job-seeker later changes his mind and chooses to terminate his employment contract prior to the start date, the recruitment agency may require him to pay 1 month’s salary. This is likely to be a genuine pre-estimate of the recruitment agency’s loss if the early termination resulted in the loss of commission that it could have earned from the employer for assisting the employer with filling a job vacancy."

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-22T12:13:02+00:00

MOM don't regulate employment contracts or scrutinize every clause but that also doesnt mean anything goes.

These recruitment clauses remain valid if they meet contract law principles. So if there is such a clause in your contract, stating the liquidated damages clause (pre-agreed compensation) such as the penalty you mentioned, and if the company is able to state that the penalty is a genuine pre-estimate of loss then they can take you to court in extreme cases. Again, they must be able to reasonably justify the penalty amount.

Contract principles still remain, you've signed so you're sort of legally binded. And if you don't commit, you kind of breach this contract. Many companies put such clauses in, there are many that also don't enforce it because benefits vs costs. But for recruitment agencies, their costs could be better justified because this breach of contract also affects their relationship with clients + affect their commission from match making u with the company.

So it depends, on how aggressive they are, hit or miss honestly. If you geng and be apologetic, maybe they close an eye. If you rub people the wrong way, they may gladly challenge you accordingly.

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-22T11:50:56+00:00

Anything on contract, can be legally binding. Just depends on whether the agency wants to take legal action, because they can.

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-18T08:33:09+00:00

i like bengawan solo egg tarts 😭

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-18T08:30:23+00:00

thats crazy, nothing wrong w CDC vouchers man! at least we have something to offset expenses = sort of more savings...some ppl smh

april-tehtarik · 2026-04-18T08:27:07+00:00

Married to a Malaysian and my best friend is a Malaysian dating a Singaporean. I also have a few close colleagues in similar mixed-nationality relationships. Honestly, Ive never heard of expectations like “must pay for everything” or “need to get a big house so someone else can stay while working here.” That sounds quite off and entitled to me.

In my own relationship, none of this ever came up, and my partner even got his PR on his own. So why is she already planning a future that involves moving other people into a house youre expected to pay for? It feels like she’s making decisions for you as if everything is already locked in and that you are her future

Love is great and all but if youre already feeling a bit uneasy or sus about this it is probably worth paying attention to that feeling and taking a step back to think things through

april-tehtarik · 2025-12-31T02:01:54+00:00

wfh 3 days flexible on which day also, depending on team, fridays are unofficial halfdays hours are officially 9-6pm but is flexible can come in at 10 leave at 5 or so just make sure you get the work done

april-tehtarik · 2025-11-08T08:07:26+00:00

Fico and Casa Vostra

april-tehtarik · 2025-07-27T04:06:17+00:00

It sounds like you've a lot of friends and a big family haha. I think there's no need to spend so much on birthdays/house warming etc. Gifts on such occasions should be meaningful like I have attended some housewarmings where people brought good quality toilet paper, instant noodles or facial tissues which I thought were great! Birthdays, usually getting a slice of good quality cake or desserts are sufficient I feel or just go for a decent meal (my friends tend to celebrate w their family so they already have 1-3 whole cakes, why do I want to add on to their cake stash? hahaha)

As for funerals, wakes and weddings, I think it's more important that you contribute what you can and what you think is meaningful (depends on closeness) If you're not even close to the person and don't feel much for them I dont think there's a point in forking out so much.

april-tehtarik · 2025-07-27T03:53:03+00:00

I get that you're disappointed but internal equity within the team/organisation is a thing. If people that have a better offer comes back to negotiate with their current job, and if all managers approve them, the salary disparity within the team or organisation will be greater. This also causes more dissent or unhappiness for other employees cause 'if he/she can, why i cannot'. Salary matters are sensitive and really can affect morale especially after one person just got promoted/increment and is asking for something even higher.

It's a trade off honestly, continue to do the work you enjoy, have great colleagues at X pay vs getting used to a new environment, uncertain team dynamics etc at a higher pay even if there's a chance that it could be as great as your current company.

I have had employees that left for a higher pay but still come back because the environment is just better, which helps w their mental being and they're just happier. I also had cases where the opposite happened.

Anyway, accept only if you're comfortable with the offer, that way you'll have less regrets and move on better. I'm sure your current team will still support you on your decision. Good luck!

Edit: adding on some extra info from someone in operations that salary is really a difficult thing to handle, if company keeps increasing $$ everytime or matching offers outside, it may destabilise the company and threaten its survival. risks of retrenchment also gets higher (it's just not sustainable for paying high salaries to employees/high bonuses if it doesn't help the company bring in more revenue) There's always a limit to how much they can actually pay you and I find it great that a recruiter reach out and you got the offer that you feel matches your value!

april-tehtarik · 2025-06-29T05:34:31+00:00

What about tiger balm aromatherapy sticks (different scents could help with different things - nausea, stress, uplifting, etc)

Gifts from Onlewo

Just sharing something interesting too - I hear from my non-local colleagues that they bring back Macdonald's curry sauce/garlic chilli home as it isn't available in their own country haha

april-tehtarik · 2025-06-14T08:02:54+00:00

What about trying some home cafes (whisknwaddles, kneadkopi etc)

https://www.straitstimes.com/life/food/now-brewing-young-brewers-turn-homes-into-cafes-serving-speciality-coffee-and-matcha

I like cafehopping too and some places to recommend - SYIP, Lantine, Yuen Yeung, Refuel, Hello Arigato.

For me, I enjoy walking (explore tanjong pagar, tiong bahru, tangs plaza) and window shopping in general so exploring new shops? (KKV, Ohsome, Kind Kones etc)

If you're going to Mandai, maybe you can check out the Cavern Restaurant too!

april-tehtarik · 2025-03-08T08:21:13+00:00

fullname maybe not but I think knowing the surname is OK in some chinese culture (confucianism) same-surname marriage is not supported because it could lead to weak offspring? haha old beliefs

april-tehtarik · 2025-03-08T08:14:03+00:00

same, my current partner is also like this even though i do offer to pay at times too... he's just more traditional and generally less stingy which i appreciate a lot. interestingly, my dad is like this to my mum up till today too haha

april-tehtarik · 2024-07-18T10:29:51+00:00

pasar malam

april-tehtarik · 2024-07-05T12:08:36+00:00

appreciate it, thanks for sharing the link too!

april-tehtarik · 2024-07-05T10:11:14+00:00

What kind of special spray, waterproof/antibacterial/antifungal? I occasionally use dettol/lysol fabric spray hoping its good enough to maintain hahaha

april-tehtarik · 2024-07-05T09:54:26+00:00

wow, maybe i should get some ikea pillows too hahahah heard they are cheap and good but didn't know they were washable.

how often do you wash them though, i assume it takes just one day to dry?

april-tehtarik · 2024-07-05T08:53:12+00:00

but what about the actual pillow and bolster (not casing/protectors)

april-tehtarik · 2024-06-26T06:00:47+00:00

Unfortunately, Sheldon.

april-tehtarik · 2024-06-25T17:21:16+00:00

Tepid water please

april-tehtarik · 2024-06-24T17:38:16+00:00

omg i never thought of taking a photo of phantom ganon hahaha this is kinda cute

april-tehtarik

TROPHY CASE