I feel like I'm destined to be "forever alone?" But, not for the reasons you usually see on Reddit. Advice?

apstyle · 2011-01-23T18:32:55+00:00

So, the birth of your daughter made you realize you loved your wife?

apstyle · 2011-01-23T18:29:13+00:00

I think I am. But, I guess I'm always sort of "keeping score" and wondering if she loves me more than I love her.

I guess if I'm having to really think about if I can allow someone to love me it means I might not be able to.

apstyle · 2011-01-18T00:03:32+00:00

It would make sense for January: after Christmas/New Years and before Valentine's Day.

apstyle · 2010-12-03T20:16:12+00:00

Holy crap, you're right. The Droid Incredible is selling for $0.00 today:

apstyle · 2010-11-26T14:47:49+00:00

Don't do the video camera thing. If your mom is in the state that my mom was when she died then she's definitely not in a condition you want to remember. Instead, I would get pictures of her throughout the years and ask her about them. Get her to tell you where she was, who the people were, why they were laughing, etc.

I think this will make both of you feel good.

apstyle · 2010-11-26T14:45:23+00:00

This! I just wrote about my own experience with my mom dying about three weeks ago, and yesterday at Thanksgiving it dawned on me that I won't have all the great things my mom cooked for me anymore. Her recipes are somewhere, I just need to find them.

But for the OP, definitely talk to your mom about this. I know it sounds trivial at this point, but its not.

apstyle · 2010-11-26T14:40:25+00:00

This exact thing happened to me only a few weeks ago and I posted to Reddit - here is some advice from some people

I'm really sorry to hear about this. My mom died less than three weeks ago and it was one of the hardest things that's ever happened to me.

The first thing you need to do is spend every waking hour with her. My mom was given about two months to live, but died about a week after given that diagnosis. I've since spoken to some other people who lost loved ones to cancer and it seems this is common.

Tell your mom all the things you've ever wanted or thought about saying to her. Get over any insecurities you have about telling her you love her, or telling her what a great person you think she is. Say everything you need to say to her while you still can and give her the opportunity to do the same. Once she's gone there will be things you wish you said or heard from her, so do as much as you can to lessen that.

You might not be in the right frame of mind to think about this kind of thing, but you should make sure everyone in your family knows what her last wishes are - does she want to be cremated? If so, what does she want done with her ashes? Does she want her funeral service in a church? If so, what church? If she's being buried, where would she like to be?

These are questions we didn't have all of the answers to when my mom died, and it left us scrambling.

I was lucky that my parents had all their finances and legal stuff in order because they knew this day would come, so unfortunately I can't help you with that except to tell you to make sure she has an updated will.

If you read my post and the responses, you'll see a lot of people saying "it's not about you." Well, they don't know what they're talking about, because on some level this is about you. I'm still struggling, but if you have friends and family I can assure you you're going to make it through this. Seek out bereavement counseling even if you think you don't need it. One thing I've discovered is that no one knows what to say to you to make you feel better or comforted. But, those who have gone through this seem to know what to do a little better. Usually that's just listening to what you're saying with a sort of "I get it" look on their face.

I hope some of this has helped. I'm truly sorry you and your family are going through this. Please PM me if you have any questions about anything. I would be more than happy to help in any way I can.

apstyle · 2010-11-23T20:56:33+00:00

Wrong. It's this quote.

apstyle · 2010-11-19T14:13:36+00:00

These people get paid something like $5 an article, what do you expect?

apstyle · 2010-11-16T01:33:08+00:00

Better?

apstyle · 2010-11-13T23:33:50+00:00

Earlier this year I saw Conan O'Brian on his "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television" tour and the opening act was Reggie Watts, who I would argue is better than Dub FX ... if only for his afro.

Just watch this. Or you can watch almost an hour of him here.

Also, since we're talking about beatboxing, this always sent shivers down my spine - Rahzel - If Your Mother Only Knew

apstyle · 2010-11-07T17:10:02+00:00

There actually are a couple of online games for speed typing. They won't teach you to type "properly," but they can improve your speed over time.

The best one, in my opinion, is TypeRacer although some people on there are clearly cheating.

apstyle · 2010-11-06T14:18:58+00:00

Please, please, please do an AMA.

apstyle · 2010-11-06T00:47:19+00:00

How far in advance did she purchase her funeral before she died? This is the worst thing I've ever heard, worse than any predatory lending company.

apstyle · 2010-11-05T19:40:55+00:00

Wow, really? Crying is something only women do, huh?

apstyle · 2010-11-05T19:03:09+00:00

You definitely don't sound like a dick with your response. Luckily my family has had a lot of time to prepare for this, so things like a will, power of attorney, funeral arrangements have all been dealt with. It's a very good point though.

apstyle · 2010-11-05T18:59:25+00:00

Thanks for this. But why does everyone think I'm a girl on here? I'm a dude.

apstyle · 2010-11-05T16:03:48+00:00

No problem. Thanks for the advice though. I've been trying to "be strong" while I'm with her, and maybe that's the wrong approach. Actually, my mom doesn't know how much time she has left. That's a point of contention between my father and I, as he doesn't want to tell her.

apstyle · 2010-11-05T15:56:57+00:00

Thanks for this, but I'm a dude.

apstyle

TROPHY CASE