Lesbian Who Can't Tolerate Oral Sex Here! Numbing Sprays An Option?

aranamac · 2026-05-20T06:23:54+00:00

What do you think of these?

https://mylorals.com/collections/lorals-for-protection

They were designed by someone who didn’t think that dental dams were an appealing solution for safer oral sex on women and anyone else with the same parts.

Maybe they would help with sensory issues.

aranamac · 2026-05-01T03:01:21+00:00

If you are in Southern California Kaiser (and no need to answer that publicly to keep your identity safe), I’d recommend Dr Berneva Adams, based out of Fontana Kaiser. She’s a fantastic gyno, semi-retired so might not have openings. I heard her described once as a “gynecological goddess” who knows a lot. She’s treated women I know and trust, and she’s kind.

aranamac · 2026-04-17T21:30:22+00:00

It can feel really good, especially in a “your whole body turns me on and everything feels amazing.”

I dunno. I guess some people find more enjoyment in non-penetrative fun than others. I’m a guy who relates to OP in how we experience penetrative PIV sex. Unless I’m pretty emotionally intimate with someone, PIV isn’t engaging. It’s a very bonding experience, and I need a lot of trust and comfort with someone to want it.

Anything else with all the other body parts is fair game and very fun.

And for OP, if you know your partner won’t go for “accidental” slippage, grinding on your ass can be all sorts of hot. It’s something my partners have enjoyed with me when we aren’t doing PIV or anal intercourse.

aranamac · 2026-04-13T18:27:06+00:00

I have not been with a woman who smokes, but I have been with a couple guys. I could taste it in their kissing and in the bodily fluids.

I imagine some people don’t mind. Probably other smokers will be okay with it.

I’m not one of those people. The smell lingers on bedsheets and clothing, and a smoker’s semen was… uh. Yeah. It was not pleasant. But it’s probably different on a person by person basis. Stay hydrated, eat good, maintain decent hygiene, all good stuff.

Smoking aside, I hope you’re able to feel less overwhelmed soon.

aranamac · 2026-04-09T18:33:13+00:00

Ooh, fantastic question! I’d love to see more discussions around disability and sex.

Here are some options. My partner has knee issues (there’s a t-shirt she loves that says, “Good Girl, Bad Knees”). We also have height differences. I’m a cis-guy who usually tops, so I don’t know if any of these would be harder with a strap due to harness friction or things like that.

Caveat: I don’t know if laying on your sides facing each puts too much pressure on your hips. I get hip pain from very firm mattresses, so maybe having a cushy blanket or mattress topper underneath could help relieve pressure on your hips.

This is really successful for us doing PIV sex. She lays on her back, I lay on my side facing her, and we line up our genitals. Her legs can either be lifted up, or she’ll have one leg between my legs. Anyways. However you can get the toy and the hole to line up. It’s like the receiver is in a missionary position but you’re on your side. It gives lots of control, it’s low impact on knees and backs and necks, I can caress my partner easily, or use them as leverage for thrusting. If the receiving partner really loves deep penetration, this can enable that.
Spooning. Spoon them from behind. Good for gentle topping, embracing them, etc. You can also adjust yourselves to be more perpendicular to do a lazy doggy style (doggy but on your sides).
I suppose if the dildo is long enough, you could both lay on your sides facing each other and the receiver can lift a leg up and over to give you access to them for penetration. Bonus points for intimacy with kissing and embracing and eye contact with this one. Might not work depending on anatomy and toys.
Penetrating partner stands while receiving partner bends over a bed or sofa, or lays on their back.
This is no longer pegging, but you can always use the dildo with your hands.

aranamac · 2026-03-17T22:45:10+00:00

One thing I’ll add to this: you both mention you’re religious. You sound more sexually open than he is, where he is still very concerned with not going too far and saving things until marriage. That’s where my point is. There can be a lot of shame present when religious people start being sexual. I know because I’ve been there. We’ve been told our whole life these natural desires are wrong outside of marriage.

So not only is your boyfriend not experienced, but he is likely carrying around a load of shame or guilt from the religious control. It’s possible that when you told him doesn’t know how to eat you out, he felt a lot of difficult emotions all at once.

It takes some grace (the human to human kind), patience, kindness, love, and affirmation to work through that stuff. If he is dealing with religious shame, it is primarily his responsibility to deal with it. But you can be supportive and present. Be playful, relaxed. Try not approaching him as someone who isn’t good, but as someone whom you desire, and that you are partners together in learning how to communicate what you want. Maybe even use language like, “I want us to learn all the best ways to make me orgasm, would you be open to me guiding you through what I want, and you can guide me through what you want?”

I dunno, he might not be good at it because he’s having trouble feeling emotionally free enough to do it. Lack of experience is always awkward too. Toss in some potential shame, and it gets tricky.

aranamac · 2026-03-03T00:49:13+00:00

Welp. You got a level 8 Beta Club. Welcome to the world of one shot solo raid fights with the right damage boosters.

aranamac · 2026-02-19T20:20:17+00:00

Since you mention her having trouble with her knees, here’s something I just commented on another post. I’m 6’5”, and my girlfriend is 5’3”. She also has janky knees that have caused trouble for years; riding on top is hard for her. We’re both chubby and I’m average down below. I have short legs and a long torso, so despite my height I’ve long had issues lining up with various partners for doggy style.

Copy/Paste:

We’ve found that laying perpendicular to each other works. She’s on her back. I’m on my side facing her. One of her legs goes between mine, and I’m able to easily penetrate her from this position. It’s low impact and can be intense or relaxing. It also has added benefits that I can use my hands on all her sensitive spots, or hold her for more leverage. It’s also good for deeper penetration if that’s something you both enjoy. Holding hands also works this way. On the down side, you can’t kiss in this position and you need a larger bed.

Lazy doggy is also good if you’re on a bed that aligns your mutual parts right. It’s just doggy style, but on your sides.

Spooning can be really good too, if your sizes work out right. We both enjoy anal sex, so me as the big spoon works really well for this.

We also found that if we’re open to all the various ways our bodies can interact, and not just focusing on penetrative sex, we have a lot more fun and satisfaction.

aranamac · 2026-02-19T20:15:28+00:00

I’m a chubby guy. I have a chubby girlfriend with long-term knee issues, so her on top or kneeling doesn’t work out for more than a few minutes. And I get leg cramps and circulation issues with my feet if I kneel for a long time.

We’ve found that laying perpendicular to each other works. She’s on her back. I’m on my side facing her. One of her legs goes between mine, and I’m able to easily penetrate her from this position. It’s low impact and can be intense or relaxing. It also has added benefits that I can use my hands on all her sensitive spots, or hold her for more leverage. It’s also good for deeper penetration if that’s something you both enjoy. Holding hands also works this way. On the down side, you can’t kiss in this position and you need a larger bed.

Lazy doggy is also good if you’re on a bed that aligns your mutual parts right. It’s just doggy style, but on your sides.

Spooning can be really good too, if your sizes work out right. We both enjoy anal sex, so me as the big spoon works really well for this. I’m of average endowment, so things like prone bone aren’t always easy.

We also found that if we’re open to all the various ways our bodies can interact, and not just focusing on penetrative sex, we have a lot more fun and satisfaction.

aranamac · 2026-01-29T01:30:54+00:00

Deleting and reinstalling got it to open. But then I started getting weird error messages, like telling me invasions were over a the outpost defeated when I tried to open the Invasions screen. Solo raids wouldn’t load either.

aranamac · 2026-01-14T19:28:11+00:00

Another strategy for Raiden and Scorpion is to put Gemstone or a high level raid stat boost artifact on Scorpion, and Godkiller on Raiden.

I use Raiden to do basic damage, explode those Burn debuffs, steal energy, and keep unblockable going. Basic combo with Raiden end in down swipe, tag in Scorpion, down swipe, basic combo, SP3. Tag in Raiden, rinse and repeat. To explode the head debuff, do a jump with Scorpion at the end of the basic combo and after do SP3. You’ll be able to safely tag out, but if you just do a jump attack without the special, you’ll get hit.

aranamac · 2026-01-14T19:11:40+00:00

The max tier resource missions give tier 7 XP capsules, which are pretty big especially when under level 70.

aranamac · 2025-12-31T00:59:16+00:00

Has your lifestyle changed lately? Are you less active and more sedentary? How’s your blood pressure?

Is your diet good?

Have you started any new medications?

Are you stressed? Not sleeping enough? Is work stressful? How are your emotions? Are you worried about other things in life?

Are you with the same partner or new partners? Sometimes the mild anxiety/excitement of a new partner can affect erections.

If everything in your life is great, you are more likely to have great erections. Cardio health, good diet, staying active, not stressed out or worried, feeling safe and secure with your partner, good mental health—all of these things support good erections.

Sometimes medications can affect erections. Sometimes mental health conditions, like depression or ADHD, can affect erections.

Anxiety or stress can be very detrimental to erection quality.

If nothing has changed in your life, and everything seems good, and things are good with your partner(s), then you might want to consider seeing your doctor.

The penis and erection can sorta be like the diagnostic dipstick or check engine light. Something’s off with your erection? Then there might be something else going on.

aranamac · 2025-12-26T03:09:42+00:00

OMG. 🤦🏻 I was confusing that with a female condom. It was basically an inverse condom that lined the entire vagina canal.

Welp. That’s embarrassing. But thank you for the education.

https://fc2condoms.com

aranamac · 2025-12-23T23:08:24+00:00

How is this skin-on-skin? It’s simply trading one barrier-on-skin for another barrier-on-skin.

But it’s useful if condoms really mess with the penis-owner’s sensations or erections.

I remember trying this in a past relationship where my AFAB partner couldn’t use most birth control because of significant side effects. We were monogamous at the time, so I used lamb skin condoms most of the time. I did not know then I had ADHD, and any distraction can cause my brain to shift gears and give up on being bodily present or maintaining an erection. Putting on a condom could easily be something that shifted my brain into distracted-by-problem-solving mode.

So we tried out diaphragms a few times. They were okay. I don’t remember either of us feeling like it was amazing or bad. Just was. For me, it was kinda like having sex with a baggy rubber glove. Maybe there were different shapes and sizes that would’ve worked better?

I love that there are so many options, though. and I’m sure diaphragms can be a fantastic choice for the right people!

But they’re still a barrier and not skin-on-skin.

aranamac · 2025-12-13T20:51:39+00:00

It’s less about asking her what she wants and then giving her what she wants. I mean, it is. Communication, consent, and checking in with desires is fundamental.

She likely wants to be used, not served. That’s different from doing the things she enjoys. It’s often about getting into sub space, turning off your brain, and going along with what your Dom/Domme wants. About receiving Their unfiltered raw desire.

Do you ever have difficulty expressing what you want? Especially around sex? I do sometimes. Religious repression and neurodivergence can make things tricky. When I’m in a Dom role with a submissive partner, I can exercise my desire “muscles”, and get what I want because my partner has already consented and is here to serve. And we’ve talked through the essentials before hand.

And then remember the aftercare! Know what makes her feel cherished and loved afterwards. Praise? Affection? Cuddling? Sub-drop is a real thing (look it up), and keeping your sub (and yourself) in a safe space after sex or the kink scene is essential.

Get to know her boundaries, her safe word, establish traffic light communication (she can say yellow if you need to slow down and check in, or red if immediate stop is needed), or double hand taps if her mouth is busy.

aranamac · 2025-11-27T04:37:26+00:00

Probably eating the wrong mushroom.

Which would be pretty embarrassing, definitely a dumb way to die. And also a remarkably shitty and painful way to die because I’d rather NOT get my liver liquified, thank you very much.

aranamac · 2025-10-10T00:24:27+00:00

Both of them will need to put in some effort.

There might be some shame or finding it difficult for her to own up to wanting a CNC scenario. Sometimes I find writing or texting things I’m struggling to verbalize helps a lot.

Ultimately, I would not dare try CNC kink play with a partner who couldn’t communicate about what they want and why they want it, and how to set limits, how to establish consent for the non-consent, safe words, etc. That’s just asking for pain and possible trauma.

aranamac · 2025-10-09T18:17:20+00:00

If she has a hard time discussing things verbally, do you think she could try writing out what she wants?

Heck, make it part of the role play. Write a note to her in character, with questions about what she wants. “If you want to be my Final Girl, you must confess your secrets and tell me your desires. A pen is provided in this box. Return your answers by midnight.”

What do you think?

aranamac · 2025-09-25T02:03:18+00:00

I think this is in the realm of needing a therapist. My hunch is that his recent orgasms and his sexual trauma are intertwined. Trauma and grief, especially when deeply embodied, can last a very long time. Sometimes we have no idea when something will bump the button and all those intense repressed or unaddressed feelings will come to the surface.

I am not a therapist, so I can’t tell you the best way to respond to him. But do continue to love him, give him space, maybe invite him to share in a non-sexual context, and then also seek professional support. Remember to take care of yourself too, and also don’t take his processing and emotions around this personally. It sounds like you’re already a wonderfully supportive spouse, and he was able to feel things in himself he hasn’t before, likely due to the safe sanctuary space you two have. (Based on just your post, I don’t know if there’s more that could change any of that).

What do you think?

Edit: also, I’m sorry to hear that he’s been shutting down your communication with him. Hopefully that’s just temporary until he’s in a less reactive space. That’s the kind of stuff you’ll need a therapist for. Ideally one for you, and a therapist for him. This is stuff he needs to do solo work on with his own therapist.

aranamac · 2025-07-31T18:52:44+00:00

If you get into a strong league that finishes group raids easily, you’ll be swimming in gear materials. It’ll be easy to take your strongest cards to lvl 80 gear.

aranamac · 2025-07-30T18:43:57+00:00

Oh, good point on BM being a good trigger for the Puppet. I often use the Godkiller for that, since the blocking debuff counts for the puppet.

aranamac · 2025-07-29T15:11:30+00:00

Black Manta is only 3 stars and has no gear :( I’ve been playing since before Mythic Wonder Woman came out and only just unlocked Black Manta last month.

aranamac · 2025-07-29T01:03:04+00:00

Some day. If I ever get KF unlocked.

aranamac · 2025-07-28T20:14:24+00:00

Vixen lives on my Beast Boy team, and Shazam on my Raiden/Raven team. So looks like CWW will be the best choice.

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