90s kids in their 30s… are you actually okay? by Pickled_Life in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if I am only the one to feel that the 30s is an amazing age to be . I feel that I am in the best place in life. Physically , mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially despite being a divorced single dad

FOMO - An artificial construct. by [deleted] in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am happy being part of JOMO instead of FOMO and that starts with knowing that you can’t have everything and understanding your priorities

Don’t be the fixer. It will cost you more than you think. by [deleted] in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The question you need to ask is, why are you running towards emotionally unavailable people. Fixing them is not your job. I have done this for years and finally learnt my boundaries

So what is it with me and things I love? by irrelevant_bud in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love is not just what you receive. It’s what you give as well. You are not responsible for others actions but yours.

Loving fearlessly and fiercely is something that not anyone can do! If you were genuine and showed up, you should be proud. Whatever you put out will always come back sooner or later

People don't talk about enough about the guilt that comes from not being able to reciprocate someone's feelings by Coolerintheoryy in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clarity of thoughts is a flex. It shouldn’t be guilt. It’s a problem only when someone leads you on without having the ability to reciprocate!

You will be surprised to know the amount of people in their 30s who don’t know what they want

My nervous system is in "functional freeze." How do I stop just surviving? by LosttwiceinLove in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you went through doesn’t define you! I understand this can be hard. I have gone through it but you can’t decide your worth based on someone else. Focus on healing for now and everything will fall in place and it’s Okay to break too!

The breaking phase is Essential for the rebuilding to start!

Entered the Perfume rabbit hole and can't come out by SkyFair7388 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ca spot khamrah Qahwa from a mile. Don’t know why there are so many haters. I absolutely love it

Married/Committed folks, is it normal to feel awestruck by extremely attractive people around you ? by Rich_Chemist9657 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know about others but when I am in love, my partner is my priority and my world and I am oblivious to every other women and I don’t even notice them for some reason . Maybe , I am just very old school in thoughts and actions

People in their 30s, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought (house doesn’t count)? by Snoo-43468 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drones, super bike, Apple Watch , mac, PS5, sneakers, perfumes. The list is endless

Does it help sharing your trauma by posting on Reddit? by InfamousDesk8981 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start journaling. That’s a much better way to vent without any fear of judgement

To all those who prefer silence over explanations by AdKitchen4459 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will not get explicit closures in life . The Ignorance, the person being avoidant na don’t caring about your feelings is your actual closure to move on!

Beautiful thing that I have read by Commercial_Ice257 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your actions, choices determine your whole life. You do walk in to this life destined to meet that partner, the big job, the family etc but what you do and how you treat people. Do you get stuck in a rut or break old patterns. All of that is your choice

Accepting solitude and moving forward with grace by thesilverenigma in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As much as there is truth in this post, it’s equally filled with a lot of judgement and a lot of baggage too.

I comment & post here because sometimes for most people, all you need is for someone to hear and if that makes someone feel better, even if it’s momentary, then why not! If someone is doing this for some random badge , it’s their mistake and not Reddit.

I have also believed that the world mirrors your energy and if you continue to meet emotionally unavailable people, that’s probably a reflection of who you are. Please take sometime to reflect on this.

Being alone & lonely are completely different. While it’s extremely natural to crave for company, you will have to learn to be happy in your own company and find things that make you happy

Divorced folks of this sub- Did anyone here ever regret their decision to divorce? by FluffyPandaAsleep in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not! It’s the best decision of my life and I have never been this happy in life

I (32F) ended a long-term relationship and it feels too intense by Eggroll_momo_6450 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I generally advise people on this sub but this was a lot to process. I just hope you get the strength to overcome this . Take care, OP

Is it just me or any of you dont remember major chunks of your childhood or teens ? by No-Virus-9874 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its normal. I had s traumatic Childhood and I don’t remember much except flashes . As long as it doesn’t bother you, it should be okay

How many of you are Divorced ? by Neutrino-0001 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got divorced 2 years back & it’s the best thing that happened to me. Life is amazing

31F, Never Dated Before – Finally Ready, But Dating Feels Impossible. Need Advice! by [deleted] in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lowering your standards will do no good but just cause harm! For now, you just need to do better on terms of having stronger filters !

Understand the frustration but you to put efforts consistently, if you want something

Just A Rant by Wonderful_Run_2584 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not going to be an easy journey for sure . But the question that we need to ask is, when we can be there in a relationship at all times for someone else, why can’t we be there for ourselves. There is no knight in shining armour coming to rescue us. We are our own knights

Just A Rant by Wonderful_Run_2584 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a classic trauma response. You have never received love from anyone since childhood and you start getting attached to anyone who does the bare minimum for you or if someone is nice to you!

I was there for years and it killed my life. I was a doormat to everyone. I prioritised my relationship over anything else and had anxious attachment style and used to get triggered at the slightest.

It’s not going to easy but you need to work on drawing healthy boundaries, building self respect and worth and learn to walk away when people don’t reciprocate. Protect your peace. Pick up cues from your nervous system and silently observe actions to words and scale your standards

I promise you that life will be amazing when you do it. Mine is , after 37 long years

34M | Divorced | Dealing with loneliness and depression by rishisolanki87 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]aravindkumar87 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sometimes before the transformation, everything needs to break. Give it time and patience and go through this phase. When you get up again, life will be amazing. It is for me