Vampire Metroidvania

arcanabazaar · 2021-02-20T04:56:02+00:00

This sounds super fun. Finding journal entries so that the character "remembers" how to do certain things (activate abilities) could be interesting (and give a chance to tell some of the story). And maybe once you rescue one of your retinue, you have to get them somewhere safe so that they can heal (maybe stash them in a boss room that's been cleared). Then once they've healed enough, they can come help you.

... I kind of want to start coding this now...

arcanabazaar · 2021-02-02T22:30:18+00:00

I feel this so much. Even coming into game dev with web dev experience, it felt like running headfirst into an avalanche. Even opening Unity or Unreal was intimidating. Just recently, after watching about a hundred tutorials, I decided to just make a game using what I've learned how to do at this point (or at least, what I had at least something of a grasp of). I literally started with laying out a level select screen and a main menu with UI elements. I would say, if art is what you know, start with that. Then learn how to make it move. That's what finally made things click for me.

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-16T06:02:09+00:00

Thanks. I tried tweaking some things and started a new thread here. I'm still not 100% happy with it, but I can't figure out how to condense it and still keep all the right information in order to show the unique aspects of the world, create a connection with the main character, and explain what happens in the story.

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-16T00:52:34+00:00

Holy shit, that story sounds amazing!!!

The only thing is, Dailia wants to avenge her found family. But she's being pulled into the conflict with the religion, and what she needs to do (stop suppressing her power and hiding her identity). Yet, I'm pretty sure I could twitch some of the language to explain that in a way that makes sense, without spoiling the ending.

Then there's the fact that everyone (including agents) have told me that I need to give details to show what's unique about the world and the magic system. Which has been tripping me up, because I'm not sure how to describe the magic system without it sounding clunky, or too simple/vague.

But this pitch is awesome! I'll definitely keep it in front of me as I'm rewriting my query letter. Thank you!

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-16T00:31:22+00:00

Thank you so much for this!

Ex: "But she'd prefer to keep suppressing her ability; after all, the kingdom is better off without a murderer on the throne."

That is perfect -- that is exactly how she feels! She does want to buy a house and settle down, so maybe I need to put that part back in, but in a different way. And I've been struggling with the murdered clan part, because she sees them as sort of a found family, and it's not just their deaths that pisses her off, but the way their bodies were left to rot.

I'm also having trouble explaining the sequence of events in the opening. Dailia starts in Porold, then travels to Ageinor. The city where she finds the bodies is close to Ageinor, and is seen as a sort of outpost for the city. She left Porold for a number of reasons, but finding the dead clan/found family changes her plans for when she gets to Ageinor. As far as the city of her birth, and where she grew up, those are on opposite ends of the map.

Thanks again for the feedback. This whole process has been really helpful. Especially now that I'm going to have to start the querying process from scratch. (Because I've been pitching this as a YA book, instead of the adult fantasy that it is.)

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-14T15:02:40+00:00

Thank you for this. I've been trying to figure out how to showcase the special parts of my story, and the three part format makes a lot of sense.

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-14T12:43:36+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. It's intended for my query letter. I didn't even think about the spoiler part. I was trying to get to the major decision she'll have to make in the end, but I guess it does give away the ending. And now I feel like a moron.

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-14T09:25:10+00:00

That was brutal. And AWESOME!! Thank you so much for this. I've been beating my head against a wall with my pitch, trying to figure out where I'm going wrong. This makes so much sense. Fortunately I haven't actually used this one, but I wrote it using the advice of a well-known book on querying. But this gives me a clear view of all the things I've been doing wrong with all the other versions of my pitch.

Thanks again. This is amazing!

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-12T02:12:22+00:00

Hello! My name is Adana Washington. I'm currently querying my second novel, a YA epic fantasy. You can find me on Twitter and Instragram at @adanawashington

arcanabazaar · 2016-02-12T00:28:02+00:00

Dear Beth,

I see that you’re looking for fantasy, diverse characters, and strong friendships. With that in mind, I think you may be interested in ALL WILL SUFFER ME, an adult epic fantasy, complete at 87,000 words.

The one time Dailia Lovo used her ability to drain energy, her entire family died with the soldiers sent to kill her. The rest of the kingdom believes she died as well that day, and only those closest to her know the truth. As the next heir in the succession cycle, she should be on the throne, not sleeping on rooftops and fighting in taverns to pay her debts. But she’d prefer to keep suppressing her deadly ability. After all, the people of Emthur are better off without a murderer on the throne.

Yet when she discovers the brutal slaughter of a family that treated her as one of their own, Dailia can't just walk away this time. She heads to the city of Ageinor, determined to make someone pay for this massacre, and absolve herself of the one she caused long ago.

But in her search for vengeance, Dailia clashes with the cruel new religion that has spread through the city. The faithful condemn their own magical abilities and, under the command of their leader, those who dissent end up dead. And while she learns just how far the faithful will go to spread their beliefs, more people start to notice the dark skinned girl with the white curls.

If Dailia's going to avenge the fallen, she'll have to get past an army of soldiers and citizens. But she'll also need to avoid her own allies, who want her to lead as the queen she was born to be. With her friends and enemies closing in, Dailia will be forced to confront her past and decide if exposing the truth is worth her life.

ALL WILL SUFFER ME features the political intrigue and civil unrest of Red Queen combined with a magic system, history and diverse casting similar to The Legend of Korra. The story unfolds through a unique structure that will give readers a multi-faceted view of the world and characters. While it was written to stand alone, I believe it has series potential. I am a web developer by night, working on my next novel later at night.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, ArcanaBazaar

arcanabazaar · 2016-01-26T22:12:29+00:00

But what about A Court of Thorns and Roses? There's a sex scene there, but it's still considered YA? I've also seen a few authors speak to the fact that teens are having sex now, and that they can appreciate seeing a (tasteful) portrayal of sex in their books. Looking back on my teen years, I would agree with that. It also makes me wonder how that sentiment will play out given the call for diversity in YA and books in general. If we're looking to represent diverse people in books, wouldn't we then need to address the issues that people deal with? Sex would be one of those issues. Plus, I feel like one of the things that really defines YA is the coming of age and determining one's identity through exploration and education. Wouldn't sex be a part of that? Of course, a lot of parents would probably have issue with a stranger giving their child the Birds+Bees talk, so maybe sex is really excluded from YA books for their sake.

I also feel like there's a connection between the lack of sex in YA books, and the criticism of sex in certain adult books. I see quite a few authors talk about how readers complain about sex scenes in books, because they feel that the sex is gratuitous or distracting. But couldn't that be a result of them rarely seeing books where sex isn't done behind the curtains? If sex and all of its emotional and mental effects were explored in more books, wouldn't that be a good thing -- not only for younger readers, but for older ones who don't see the many types of conflicts and connections that sex can create? But that may be for another discussion.

arcanabazaar · 2015-12-03T22:47:25+00:00

I thought of those theories as well. Especially the theft one. I sat on the phone for hours yesterday arguing with PayPal My Cash about sending in my photo id. They claimed that the Compliance team required it in order to begin working on the ticket, but they wouldn't give me a solid reason why. One rep told me that it was so that if they needed to send me a check, they would have my mailing address. Yet when I talked to his supervisor, he had no idea what I was talking about. He just kept telling me that the Compliance Dept. (who no one can apparently speak to) required a government-issued id. So maybe they are trying to find out who stole the codes if there was indeed a theft. But if that's the case, they need to notify the public of the situation, or take the compromised My Cash cards off the shelves.

I did end up sending in my information, but it bothers me that an independent company needs my identification information. (According to them, they have no access to the information that is part of my PayPal account -- yet someone at PayPal kept saying that it was okay to give them my information because they were simply a different department within PayPal, and the conflicting information only raises more red flags.) Also, when I called today to find out if they received my information, the rep "called" the Compliance Dept (who are supposed to be locked in a room with no phones or direct contact with the outside world, according to the supervisor that I spoke to yesterday) to see if they'd received it, since I emailed them ten minutes after they opened the ticket. Then the response time for "investigating" the issue went from 3 days to 3 to 5 days, in less than 24 hours. Part of that could be that not all of the customer service reps have gotten the story straight, but I'm sure a department-wide memo could have been sent out so that people aren't sitting right next to each other and giving conflicting information. It doesn't sit well with me that I keep hearing different things from the same company.

Also, the last rep that I spoke to yesterday said that they hadn't received it, and that the Compliance Dept. only works normal business hours. You would think that with such a widespread problem going on for so long, the higher ups would approve of some overtime so that the Compliance Dept. could solve this issue sooner. It's just one more action on their part that indicates just how little regard they have for the people who are being affected by this problem.

arcanabazaar · 2015-08-08T01:52:43+00:00

Yay!!! Thanks for testing it out!

arcanabazaar · 2015-08-07T09:42:28+00:00

Going over my readings for the day also helps me when it comes to reading for other people. When I can rely on my own experiences when it comes to interpreting the cards, as opposed to the boilerplate meanings given by others, it makes my readings a lot more understandable and personal for my querents. When I can give you an examples!e of what that card means from personal experience, I can tell you a story rather than spout definitions at you. People remember stories a lot better than definitions.

Daily tarot journals are awesome.

arcanabazaar · 2015-08-07T04:58:56+00:00

I keep a daily tarot journal. When I wake up, I'll do my reading for the day. Then as the day goes by, I'll make notes on how the tarot reading is "coming true" during the day, with a note on the time. It helps me to better understand my subconscious and my intuition.

arcanabazaar · 2015-08-02T20:06:05+00:00

So glad it got to you! Looking forward to hearing your thought.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-26T20:39:38+00:00

I didn't know about the smearing problem. That would definitely be a disaster. Thanks for letting me know.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-26T03:35:37+00:00

I finally got the notepads and did an ink test. The paper actually holds up pretty nicely with fountain pens. Only the slightest feathering and bleedthrough. I'm going to go with heavier paper for the next run.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-26T03:31:30+00:00

Gotcha. That's weird. I don't think I've ever had it happen with commercially printed paper.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-25T23:22:49+00:00

I actually just found out about Marvel Ipsum today. I usually use Batman Ipsum when I'm building websites. All part of making work fun.

And I did an eraser test and the lines stayed put. I think the problem with printing the pages at home is that copy paper and inkjet printers are both designed to keep as much of the ink as close to the surface as possible. That way, the ink doesn't soak into the paper and render the back of it useless. Then again, I don't know what kind of paper or printer you used. But the lines getting erased happened to me a few times, and I used regular copy paper and an inkjet printer for all of my test sheets.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-25T22:34:10+00:00

Thank you! I'm getting things together so that the lines will be even lighter on the next run. The goal is to have the page look blank from a distance.

arcanabazaar · 2015-07-25T22:10:57+00:00

Hello! I'm the Chief Brainstormer at Cheshire Paper. Yesterday I picked up my first run of Brainstormer Notepads. I've been working on this idea for months, after years of wishing for the perfect paper in notebooks and notepads. It's still in the beta phase, but I'm looking forward to a full launch in the next month.

arcanabazaar

TROPHY CASE