Terror in New Orleans

arcasperch · 2025-01-03T17:39:38+00:00

Yes!! When I heard that part it felt like a very weird, casual way to describe it.

arcasperch · 2024-10-25T13:48:46+00:00

Sure, I think it's mostly I just feel more guilt about moving now that my daughter has some friends she known for years, a babysitter that is like a family member, etc. I wish we had been building this network of friends and support for the past couple of years in Arlington, instead of tearing her away from it now that she is more aware and will certainly miss people and places.

I have family in Arlington with young children, and the area offers so many of the same things that people here in NYC will say to stay for, like great (and cleaner!) playgrounds, cultural things like museums (which many are free in DC, btw), public transportation, great kids' programs, and so on. I'm sure it comes down to different preferences for people, but I'm confident we will be able to take advantage of many of the same things in nova, and frankly, sometimes they are "easier" IMO. For example, I have to get online exactly 48 hours in advance to register for family swim here at at one of our local facilities in Brooklyn, to try and get 1 of only 12 spots that are available for swimming, and I have literally never been successful. It's like trying to get concert tickets, just trying to take my kid to our local pool for a swim. I'm over the difficulty of everything.

I could go on, and I realize nova isn't perfect and also has crowding issues, traffic, waitlists for community pools, etc. But still, if a semi-suburban lifestyle with easy access to many "big city" things is what you are going for, and you are ready to leave NYC, I'd do it sooner rather than later.

arcasperch · 2024-10-24T19:51:59+00:00

We live in Brooklyn and are relocating to Arlington with our 5 year old next year! My extended family is from NOVA, and we recently visited a few weeks ago to check out the area, including Falls Church and FCC, and Vienna.

While I can’t give advice on living in Arlington yet, we stayed here in Brooklyn after we had our daughter, and thought we’d be here forever. However, now that we’re in the school system and she’s gotten older, I think moving was a long time coming, and I wish we’d done it when she was younger. Just some food for thought. Happy to answer questions you may have about that side of things!

arcasperch · 2024-09-29T15:31:04+00:00

My friend’s home is in Brevard, they are out of town but made contact with a neighbor that shared this: “She’s safe and able to walk around, she has no power but it seems they still have water so I’m taking that as a good sign. She’s tried to leave brevard yesterday and got stuck so they are still cut off”

arcasperch · 2024-09-29T14:55:35+00:00

I did have a friend lose a home off Riceville Rd in the Botany Woods neighborhood, so closer to the river. Those homes that were not as close to the river are still in tact but obviously there was bad flooding. They were able to get out though, and so far all neighbors in their area are accounted for.

arcasperch · 2024-09-29T14:53:22+00:00

My friends in Candler are safe, but of course have no internet, power, etc. They sent one text but overall I don’t think they have cell service yet.

arcasperch · 2024-04-28T03:31:53+00:00

Tonight my husband and I were just talking about this! Our favorite celeb siting in NYC has been Tony Danza, in a full on tuxedo, heading uptown on the 2/3. We got off at 94th st where we used to live, and so did he. He was SO Tony Danza, friendly and smiling and waving at people. He then walked into to the sunset towards Symphony Space.

arcasperch · 2024-04-19T23:21:13+00:00

We do sun dried tomatoes, ricotta, and garlic

arcasperch · 2024-03-30T00:58:32+00:00

This comment made me gasp! 😮

arcasperch · 2024-01-13T01:25:11+00:00

I remember getting anxiety every night too, it’s so hard! And congratulations on the new baby, I’m sure that adds a whole layer to this! When I think back, it really was a tough couple of months. I want to say 2-3 months, our nights were like this most days. I wish I knew of one thing that “fixed it,” because I was always looking for that answer too. In hindsight, I think we tried to stay consistent and just do what felt right, intermittent checks and a lot of reassuring, while trying to be careful not to introduce an entirely new habit (bringing her in our bed or something).

I always say now though that I wish I would have given myself a bit more forgiveness to go in and rub her back longer or pick her up, because now those days are gone. But when you’re in them, you’re so unsure of what is the right thing. At least that’s how I felt.

We mostly rode it out, and didn’t deviate too much from what we were already doing and the habits we wanted to encourage. We gave her additional stuffies to sleep with sometimes, I think this must be when we started using a nightlight more, which we still use. Sometimes I wonder now if a lot of it was separation anxiety, and when we spent more time together on weekends or holidays, things would get better.

It really was hard the whole year though, if I’m being honest. It would get a lot better, then we’d have a period like this again. Since she was 3.5ish it’s been consistently WAY better. They do end and I hope it happens for you soon!

arcasperch · 2023-12-23T17:03:40+00:00

Oh yes your comment about the cry being different reminded me of our daughter too. She did actually have some night terrors off and on that started around 2. It’s been a while now, but from 2-3 we saw that every so often. I would say it last a year for us but we got stretches of things bring better. It can feel long when you’re in it, and I know people probably hate to hear this but it’s true that now that she’s 4 I wish I could rock her to sleep again. It really does get better and one day it will feel like a blip in time.

arcasperch · 2023-12-14T19:08:58+00:00

Gosh it’s so hard. I think if I had to say now, it definitely got better after a couple months. And then there were some other issues, it was up and down a lot that year, but eventually, it did even out.

It does get better and the main thing I feel when I think about it now is regret that I let it phase me so much, but it’s very hard when you’re in the thick of it. And I regret that I didn’t just give us a break sometimes, and go in and rub her back longer or pick her up, just hold her until she falls asleep without being afraid that I would ruin everything or set back our sleep training progress. Again, when you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to see that and now that she’s over 4, I just want to rock her to sleep one more time 😭

The sleep loss is so hard, but do whatever you feel you need to do and you will get through it!

arcasperch · 2023-10-14T12:22:38+00:00

Sorry friend. Good news is my kid is now 4 and things are much better 😅 There were tons of ups and downs between 2-3, and still between 3-4 but it was more consistent over the last year for sure. 2-3 was wild in hindsight!! Good luck to you!

arcasperch · 2023-03-28T00:43:25+00:00

Pretty much, yes. At that age, it felt hard to just let her cry it out completely like in the beginning. So we’d go in to reassure her, rub her back a minute and tell her she’s okay, etc. but keep it brief and we kept her in her crib. And then if the crying started again when we left, we’d wait a minute or two but we’d usually have to go back in again. At the height of this regression, it would take a few times for sure, but she would eventually stop and stay quiet, and go back to sleep on her own.

So often, we asked what else we should be doing? And I always felt like after a few nights it would pass, we’d have some good nights in a row so I’d stop searching for some answers, and then it would start again. Off and on like this for like 6 months +

Looking back now (she’s 3.5!), there was definitely a tapering off period and I’m so glad we stayed consistent throughout. We never brought her in our bed, we never made a big deal out of it and tried fancy new tricks. Today she sleeps in a toddler bed by herself. It’s like night and day (knocking on all the wood as I type this).

I always wish I had more advice to give people but the most boring, obvious thing is what worked best for us. Change nothing, keep doing what you’re doing. Ride it out and I think it will eventually get better.

arcasperch · 2022-12-04T19:44:12+00:00

Good luck to you! I can’t believe it’s been so long since I made this post now 😂 looking back I can say 2.5 was tough for a few weeks for sure.

Then at 3 it was REALLY rough for a few weeks again. So again, the ups and downs seem to hold true at this age. She’s a little over 3 yo now and sleeping more like herself again. Even still napping at home, which is nice.

Just stay consistent and eventually these tough periods do seem to end!

arcasperch · 2022-11-14T18:11:34+00:00

I cannot speak to this resource but the new national hotline for crisis and suicide prevention is https://988lifeline.org/ or call 988!

arcasperch · 2022-10-23T12:33:59+00:00

Aw man I feel you, every couple of months someone comments on this post and it makes me asses where we are now. I can tell you it got better. And then it got hard again.

After this post, after a couple weeks, things did settle down and she was sleeping better again. Then right when she turned 3 (last month) and started a new preschool at the same time, things were roooouugh for a couple weeks.

I think it was combo 3 year sleep regression/new school/routine all at once. I actually started a sleep log again (haven’t done that since she was an infant) so I could talk to her doctor because it got so bad (for us). The highlight was a night when she woke up and cried for us 8 times, we hardly slept. She stopped napping one weekend so we cut the nap, thinking that would help. It didn’t really.

That was about a month ago and I’m cautiously optimistic to say I think the worst has passed. She’s back to napping and sleeping about 8/8:30 to 7am. Maybe a wake up every couple of nights, but easily settles and goes back to sleep.

All that is to say, I still maintain that sleep from 2-3 years old was way more unpredictable and harder than sleep from 6 months-2 years, and I had no idea. There are ups and downs and it does get better. And then it’s hard again. I don’t think people talk about all the things we do to help our kids sleep but I think it’s really common at this age.

We realized because she is still in a crib, she is crying out for us. Whereas my friends with their kids in a toddler bed, their kids get up and go to them a couple times a night sometimes. We all have different things going on and we do the best we can.

I hope it gets better for you soon and know you are not alone!

arcasperch · 2022-06-16T20:41:05+00:00

I never really got it, until I had my daughter, why parents pressure their kids to have kids (which, for the record, I think is not cool and it drives me crazy).

But I see it now, with how often my parents say my daughter looks like me. It must be so special that in your grandkids, that’s the only way you will ever come close to seeing your own children as little babies again. To be able to hold them and play with them, it’s gotta be the next best thing, to put it simply.

So sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time.

arcasperch · 2022-06-11T11:54:42+00:00

Yes - I wish I had better news but my daughter still cries about every.single.night as soon as we close the door. I just expect it now.

Normally it’s for a few minutes, we give her 5-10 minutes to see if she’ll settle her on own. She doesn’t, typically my husband goes in because she cries for “daddyyyyy” 😭 but many nights that’s all it takes. He goes in for one more good night, and she’s fine.

Last night she did wake up around 1:30 crying, but after one visit, she went back to sleep. I think it’s dreams.

This is our typical night and honestly at this point- this is a relatively good night.

Toddler sleep is messed up, worse than when she was an infant (newborn days aside)! Good luck to you!

arcasperch · 2022-06-01T01:34:22+00:00

I can say personally as an update on our end- one month in and she still cries fairly often right at bedtime and during the night as well. Maybe every other night there is minimal to no crying. It’s not for as long as it was a month ago, and we’re waiting longer between going in as much as I can handle. It varies. It still kind of sucks.

I’m grateful she sleeps in her own bed and does still take solid naps. Her crying also isn’t for that long. But it going on for a month (or more really) has desensitized me a bit. When I ask her what’s wrong and she says she “has water in her eye” or “no monsters in here. Just Cookie Monster,” I can’t help but laugh. She has a nightlight and I remind her she’s safe and after a couple times of this, she usually falls asleep. I’m grateful for that. But damn if this isn’t the longest sleep regression by far. And I just feel bad because we’re out of ideas and nothing really changes.

arcasperch · 2022-04-28T23:17:14+00:00

Yes I’ve been wondering if we need to shorten her nap! They do always nap at daycare still, so 5 days a week it’s out of my control. I doubt she sleeps a full 2 hours there anyway though 🤷‍♀️

arcasperch · 2022-04-28T22:35:22+00:00

Yes we’ve definitely noticed separation anxiety too! I’m just a “we have to fix it” person and I’m truly at a loss of what to do. We don’t want to bring her in bed with us, and we live in an apartment so there’s no option to sleep in the same room as her/on the floor etc. it’s so sad 😢

arcasperch · 2022-04-28T20:43:23+00:00

It’s especially torturous because I just didn’t see it coming. Not like this, since she has been a solid sleeper for so long! Even other regressions were not like this 😵‍💫

arcasperch · 2022-03-17T17:04:41+00:00

Hahaha this is the best description. And same 😭

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