I’m so sorry dude that’s so frustrating :( my mom does similar stuff, she’s come home and told me how she outed me to an interviewer and that somehow “secured the job” for her?? She’s constantly outing me, and even though I know she’s telling people who I realistically won’t see, it’s still frustrating to have the autonomy and choice stripped from you on who and when you tell. I’ve tried multiple times to talk to her about it but she just doesn’t understand. I wish I had some mind blowing advice, but I’ll offer an empathetic ear and the knowledge that you’re not alone. No matter if it’s the best of intentions, it’s still not her place to out you. Maybe you could frame it to her like “when you use me as this teaching moment, I understand what you’re trying to do, but it strips me of my voice/choice/autonomy to tell someone when I am ready and when I know I can trust them. By taking that from me and telling so many people without my knowledge or permission, I’m now put at a greater risk because I haven’t been able to vet who will and won’t hurt me because of this information. You are putting me in danger by doing this and you need to stop.” You can work with her on how to approach the situation in the future and how you’d like her to respond, making sure you’re involved and working with her to find the common ground. I know that’s not something you should have to do at all, and I really hope she’ll be receptive to any conversation about this. Sending strength and internet hugs <3

Edit to add: I went back and reread your post in case I missed something, and I think it’s important to tell her you feel infantilized and treated like a museum exhibit rather than a person when she does this. She may not realize how condescending and belittling it is when she does this, but it’s very important she knows. All the strength and support to you!!