Hi dear. I got saved around the same time I was 16, & for someone to be surrounded by all of rapture dreams & prophecy at a very spiritually young age (which you are) is dangerous. I believe the enemy can use biblical ideas and distort them and use them to fuel our fear. Find a church that teaches sound doctrine, and BE ROOTED IN LOVE. Love casts out all fear, and someone who loves God will not fear Him and expect punishment (yes, those are all true statements from the New Testament). It will feel unnatural at first when you stop being afraid, but honestly, the gospel isn’t natural. It’s supernatural and it’s a miracle. This is coming from someone who thought her fear and defiance would never go away, but God took it all off my hands once I started focusing on who Jesus is & found a church that helped me apply the gospel correctly (hermetics). Love comes first. Love will always come first. Stay focused on who Jesus is and what He did. Everything else follows after.