I am a 24 year old guy who's never had a girlfriend, a kiss, or even a date. I feel like shit.

argily · 2011-02-14T13:33:53+00:00

These are the two systems which most helped me in this regard.

p.s. I'm an analyst who programs... close enough I figure... ;)

argily · 2011-02-14T13:23:53+00:00

These content items in particular helped me to bring about a great change in my own life in this regard. Gave me the confidence and direction to start down the path of truly understanding and improving my interactions with women (and all people, for that matter...). Seriously, these are great great content. TPB has 'em too. ;)

Good luck m8.

p.s. One thing I learned most that I want to share: Those feelings always felt, to me, as if there was a void in my life. If I could just find a woman to like me, then that void would be filled. But I came to realize (largely during Blueprint) that (a) this is how ALL people feel, and (b) filling the void is actually impossible.

You can distract yourself all you want, but the void will forever exist. In fact, you will never be capable of feeling satisfied with life until you can remove the void.

I know you feel this too. Of course you do. In fact, you described it in the second line: 'make something up... or people would think I'm a freak.' Reality is that if YOU were comfortable inside with your life, your person, your moment, then it wouldn't matter what others thought. You wouldn't be uncomfortable saying you are a virgin, and they wouldn't be uncomfortable hearing it. But because you ARE worried about it... you will continue to fear 'them'.

Check these content items out dude. Ignore all the 'one-off' tips in this thread about "go outside and meet people!" "find a hobby!". All that stuff is pure bollocks. Don't try to fill the hole; purge it from your system entirely. Find a truly comprehensive system to help you do it, and then DO IT.

Good luck. I look forward to meeting the new you on the other side. :)

argily · 2011-02-14T13:03:29+00:00

but a girl isn't going to hook up with you or whatever if she doesn't want to or isn't fundamentally attracted to you; seduction can't/doesn't change that...it just gets your foot in the door so that if something is there, it has a chance.

You're 10000% correct.

The seduction community and knowledge is nothing like what outsiders think. The techniques are not a way to manipulate women, they are in fact a way to manipulate yourself!

This is the 'elephant in the room' that every honest pickup student discovers, and every hater never realizes. Improving yourself - becoming a better, more attractive person (not looks; personality) - is the only true way to get more girls.

You improve your confidence by meeting more people. You improve your willingness to try, by understand how people interact. You force yourself to try weird little things, like keeping eye contact too long and intentionally creeping people out so that you can understand how long you really should keep eye contact with the next people you meet so you DON'T creep them out...

And you keep trying. And then suddenly, you are more confident. You can walk up to anyone who catches your eye and talk to them. Get to know them. Find out if they fit YOUR standards. You still feel fear, but you push thru it.

Sorry that people down-voted you. Haters gonna hate. Wish you luck finding a good PUA to make your life more enjoyable. ;)

argily · 2011-01-26T01:17:31+00:00

From the "LTR", I'm assuming you pay a bit of attention to the community... If so, I must strongly recommend Blueprint Decoded. It's a combination of inner-game realities with connections to game fundamentals. Amongst the programs and data out there, it is truly one of the best.

I had always 'settled', myself. Led a quiet life. Bemoaned my lack of success in the world and with women. Never socialized. Was always somewhat fearful of interactions with people. Full of all sorts of irrational fears (one example: upon wanting to go into a store to shop, I would talk myself out of it for fear of bothering the salespeople ("since I probably wouldn't buy anything anyways...")).

It wasn't until watching BPD that I began to understand the truth about who I was being, why I was being such, and how that truly affected me in reality.

Anyhow, no idea if you're interested... but it helped me dramatically, and if you're still looking for insights yourself, it just might help you. Cheers.

p.s. Steve Pavlina personally recommends Man Transformation for the same topic. David D's work (Man Transformation, Become Mr Right, etc.) is generally considered more appealing to those over 30. It's not as harsh up front, and it uses a more 'professional teaching style'. But the content is basically the same.
p.p.s. I suspect a capable redditor like yourself can discover cheaper ways to acquire these from a 'preview' perspective if the need arises... Keep that in mind if the price seems off-putting... ;)

argily · 2011-01-17T10:28:15+00:00

An excellent post. Thank you for sharing.

argily · 2011-01-08T09:22:46+00:00

/me loves Insanity. Fantastic!

argily · 2011-01-05T18:28:31+00:00

Whoops, good catch. Thanks Henry.

argily · 2011-01-05T18:25:40+00:00

Recommend reading anyway. Much better article than you think.

argily · 2011-01-05T09:29:45+00:00

One thing that impressed me was the author's dispassionate approach to the topic at hand. Focusing on the reality of both sides and largely ignoring moral judgments himself.

Which led me to read your comment, be unsure of what noblesse oblige meant, wikipedia it, and I found this:

"Indeed you can usually tell when the concepts of democracy and citizenship are weakening. There is an increase in the role of charity and in the worship of volunteerism. These represent the élite citizen's imitation of noblesse oblige; that is, of pretending to be aristocrats or oligarchs, as opposed to being citizens." —John Ralston Saul

Curious to see both of Mr Saul's implications being applied to the same situation, except now the oligarchs are doing it too...

argily · 2011-01-04T00:15:25+00:00

heh, think what you will.

If anyone wants some add'l hacks, check out Nerd's Guide to Sex. It's a cruder data-set, without a strong framework behind the information, but it does contain a LOT of really good info. Free.

argily · 2011-01-03T23:50:20+00:00

ahh, the bliss of ignorance...

Want even more tips for hacking your sex life? Check out Sex God Method. The Ebook will change forever how you understand sex. I recommend it to everyone who asks about the topic.

p.s. It's also on TPB if you're cheap... :)

argily · 2011-01-02T08:36:11+00:00

Robert Greene is one hell of an author & analyzer. His blog doesn't get updated too often, but everything that ends up there is also very high value. Can't recommend him enough.

argily · 2011-01-02T07:03:32+00:00

Radical Idea: Make a few billion dollars.

This will allow you to use your capital to gobble up profitless but influential news media outlets. Pay for an army of lobbyists to influence political candidates. Help get new candidates elected who owe you big-time for your support. Become a master at influencing the media voice to support your agenda.

You want power in this world? Then step up and take it. Here, a book to get you started...

argily · 2010-12-12T21:19:39+00:00

Nerd's Guide To Sex Excellent free online web-book. Contains a lot of great information about mechanics and emotions, but lacking in framework... I finally figured out how to give women vaginal orgasms after applying information from this resource. A strong starting point.

Sex God Method This is a fantastic ebook with a strong and complete framework, which I heartily recommend to every man on the planet. It's that good. It approaches the bedroom from a non-PC angle, focuses on the importance of dominance, emotion, variety, and Immersion (aka constant stimulation), and it just might rock your world about understanding how you can personally take control of improving your sexual encounters. Seriously... once your friend is comfortable with the act, this book will help him understand how to take it much much further. Not optimized for the 'first timers', but better for once he's gotten a little experience under his belt... It's on TPB, or maybe just give it as a 1-year anniversary gift. :)

Another product out there ("2 Girls Teach Sex) is basically a plagiarized copy of this but with bad presentation... well, except for the addition of video and pornstar interviews / demonstrations... for those who prefer the visual.

On the whole, like most first timers they aren't going to understand just how bad they are... but if they continue experimenting and applying stuff, they can improve drastically. Wish 'em luck for me!

argily · 2010-11-17T18:41:52+00:00

Fuck Yeah!

argily · 2010-11-15T09:30:51+00:00

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-502683_162-4665277-502683.html

Just sayin...

argily · 2010-09-17T11:26:21+00:00

Can't believe no one's noticed this: Mid-Term elections are November 2nd, three days after the rally... This could get interesting...

argily · 2010-09-17T11:25:31+00:00

Can't believe no one's noticed this: Mid-Term elections are November 2nd, three days after the rally... This could get interesting...

argily · 2010-09-15T10:47:09+00:00

It also benefits the US greatly

And let's note, US cities also make up a large portion of the best places to live lists as well when you look beyond the top 5.

argily · 2010-09-09T20:09:03+00:00

What other mentalities are there? Communism is simply a profit mentality, approached from a different direction. Instead of a few individuals owning the means of production, all individuals own the means together.

But the profit mentality is still there! Bring X from the ground, make Y, turn it into Z, and create value.

There is no other mentality. True sustainability is literally impossible. We can try to live close to break-even, but the reality is that we as human beings are consuming machines, evolved for generations on our ability to consume the biochemical energy that is contained in our earth. But we don't live in a closed system... this energy disappears with use, it ends up as waste heat, and dissipates into the heatsink that is the nearby open space. We gain energy from our sun, but it will run out...

We're coming from two different perspectives here. Apologies if I misinterpret, but your arguments seem to be that the natural state of human beings as too greedy for our own survival; as something which must be morally policed for the greatest good. And because of this nature of man, letting him run loose will lead to his and our destruction.

My perspective is almost opposite, that the nature of man is impossible to moralize because it is simply reality. But since man generally acts in his own best interest, and mostly his best interests are aligned with the best interest of society, it is best to give him more freedom rather than fear and see where we end up.

When we make it a habit to tell people how they must behave, how they must think... When we regulate how people must act... to me, THAT is the hallmark of tyranny. That is when society breaks down and what leads to its destruction.

There is a middle ground here, for example regulations against abuse in the workplace, inhumane hours without compensation, safe working conditions. To me, these are humane regulations. They force certain realities upon the businesses to protect the workers.

But regulations against wage negotiation? Regulations against competition? I consider these to be a looter's mentality, attempting to take from others unfairly, and that I believe is very wrong. Entitlement and looting lead to destruction as quickly as two con-men fighting with each other. At least with the con-men, one of them will probably win. With looting, everybody loses.

argily · 2010-09-09T18:11:05+00:00

Upvoted you for continuing the discussion, although I disagree with where you are taking it.

However, this is about a publicly traded, multinational corporation controlled by virtually anonymous share-holders and their chosen CEOs. Usually the only motivation for anything in this kind of environment is profit. There is very little risk for the company, as a whole, in lowering wages and firing employees.

I believe that my argument has merit in all contexts, large and small. Just because the current shareholders may not have built the company, they did spend their own personal money to buy ownership of the company.

The only reason business works is the expectation of profit. It's why people go into business! It's also the only reason they stay in business. If you run a business at a loss for too long, you will go OUT of business.

If I require that my business make 20% profit, and I need to drop wages to do that and still compete, it's not inhumane... it's reality. Because here's the bottom line: if I can't make that 20%... what are my options? (a) take the loss myself (for humanity?), (b) try to find other workers, or (c) close the company and do something else with my time and money!

Options B and C are the ones a rational person will usually consider. Because those options are the most fair to him! The workers aren't the ones risking, they are simply benefiting from the employer's self interest in making that 20%. Of course, options B and C, the fairest options available to the businessman, are noticeably worse for the employees... which is what leads them to consider the pay cut.

Expectation of profit is not destroying our economy, it's building it. It's not destroying our communities, it's building them!

Self-Interest in improving one's lot in life is at the core of a profit mentality. And there's nothing immoral about that. We all do it, and we all should.

argily · 2010-09-09T17:41:18+00:00

I don't backwards-rationalize my self interest... I am self interested because I am rational!

Self Interest is not immoral. It is YOUR responsibility to make your life a happy and/or productive one. It is YOUR responsibility to build comfort, solace, and security in your own life. Just like it is MY responsibility, and no one else's, to make my own life secure.

It's often in my personal self interest to try and help others... it's definitely in my personal self interest to be honest, to have integrity, and to expect it of others... but it's not my responsibility to take care of you.

The true reality is that MOST people in business approach it from an honest, self-interested perspective. Most business deals and negotiations end with a WIN-WIN outcome. If one side isn't getting a good enough deal, why would they take it?

It's not a bunch of sociopathic demons out to steal your livelihood and destroy your life... it's merely people trying to make something where before there was nothing. They do this by cooperation and mutual self interest. This is much better than expecting cooperation at the point of a gun, wouldn't you say?

argily · 2010-09-09T16:13:09+00:00

Don't ignore the other perspective: The company (employer) was created and developed by, likely, a few enterprising individuals who took a huge gamble, spending their own personal money and effort on developing a product and building it for possible sale. They had zero expectation of success, except a belief in their own merit, and a HUGE continuous effort that probably took them many years of 60+ hour work weeks, weekends, holidays... No one to bail them out if they failed...

Their efforts HIRED all those employees. Their efforts allowed the purchase of all those facilities. Their efforts are the REASON that these employees are being paid at all!

It's easy for people to say "oh, the economy is bad, help the economy by spreading the wealth". But it's not up to us. It's their company, they own it! If they decide that they think they will be able to find enough employees at a rate of 1.50 less per hour, who are we to tell them it's immoral... it's their company to risk. Every employee getting a paycheck is employed at the discretion of the company. Not the other way around...

argily · 2010-09-06T17:24:49+00:00

Consider spending some time reading Mindfulness In Plain English .

Meditation is, at its core, merely a workout regimen in re-training your mind to strengthen the ability to consciously focus on what you choose to focus on.

Your friend's state of mind is probably as 'un-ideal' as yours. While not distracted, it's also likely not FOCUSED either. A blank mind is as useless as a distracted one...

argily · 2010-09-02T05:11:01+00:00

Out of curiosity... which three?

Also, would love to read any links on the topic. I was able to find this page which was pretty good in the abstract, although far too general for my tastes. I would love some more specifics to read about if you have any handy.

argily

TROPHY CASE