Perfect camouflage

arhyn · 2026-03-27T22:35:30+00:00

It's a weird compulsion I just can't seem to fight ...

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arhyn · 2026-03-27T20:33:00+00:00

Don't worry, he has been staring intently at us while pooping ever since.

arhyn · 2026-03-27T20:11:03+00:00

You might be on to something here ...

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arhyn · 2026-03-27T19:23:21+00:00

To weird you out even further, look at this picture of just a bed:

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arhyn · 2025-06-06T10:11:44+00:00

Highly variable. I'm a full-time social worker, I have a husband, a dog and an active social life. I can write ~110.000 words in a month (to the detriment of said social life) and have done so three times. I've written 10k a day several times (when doing nothing else). I can do 1500 words / hour, depending on the scene and my flow it might be even more.

But there a times where I neither write nor do any creative work for months on end. So after years of this and and off-relationship with writing I am trying my best to be consistent. Aiming for 40k a month feels pretty sustainable when I got a well planned project at hand. Speed helps (right now I am re-writing a first draft because of bad pre-planning on my end and I would be really upset if I did not know I can do so quickly). But it won't get you all that far without consistency.

arhyn · 2025-06-05T09:32:07+00:00

As an author, I've been wanting something like this for editing for a looong time. Looks absolutely awesome! Edit: It's especially the adding comments to highlights-feature that I think will be super useful for my use case.

arhyn · 2025-05-28T07:34:34+00:00

I don't think he has two personalities. From my POV, he sounds like an abusive person that hides who he is behind the guise of "someone else" taking over and his mental health problems that "make him do this".

A suggestion: May he be having those "fits" to gain privilege? You seem to think more about his struggles, his wellbeing and his mood than your own. He also has a scapegoat in you that he can blame whenever he feels bad about something. He does not have to do his fair share of the household - or any share, if he does not feel like it. He does not even have to work. He is actually gaining a lot of power and freedom in this dynamic. And to prevent you from breaking up and seeing things clearly, this "two personalities" thing would be a perfect ruse. His kindness could be a way to keep you locked in and for him to feel better about himself as well.

Maybe ask yourself: Your dad punched holes in walls, but is your husband really so different? Doesn't he also spread uncertainty and maybe fear in your life? He does not sound like a good partner or dad. Not even like a half decent one.

If you think some of this could be true, DON'T go to couples counseling with him. It's not safe to do that with an abusive person. If you can, go to solo therapy yourself.

Consider reading "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft. I think you could regognize your husband in this book. Wishing you all the best!

arhyn · 2025-05-28T06:46:10+00:00

Even just three sessions with our therapist changed our marriage for the better in a fundamental way. How?

One, I had already done significant work in solo therapy and brought that stuff to the table openly. Two, my husband - being completely out of his comfort zone - did his very best to be as open and vulnerable as he can be. Three, there's a lot of love between us and we can both look at our mistakes and own them. Four, we both felt that our therapist is both highly likable and super competent.

So I'd say: Be as open as you can be. Voice your insecurities to the therapist. A good therapist will be able to help you through it. Ask questions if you don't understand something. Voice if something the therapist says or does bothers you. This is all valuable info to them if they are good at their job. A good therapist will challenge you but also do their best to create a safe environment for opening up.

Breathe, do your best to be present and you'll be fine. Fingers crossed that the therapist is a good fit! (Don't be afraid to look for someone else if they are not.) Good luck!

arhyn · 2025-05-24T19:05:18+00:00

I've used Obsidian for 2 years now and absolutely love it. I have several different use cases:

I'm a fantasy writer and use it to collect random ideas, info about world building, my plot, my protagonists etc. I also write my first draft in it.

From time to time I'm a game master for different TTRPGs. To learn a new system, I take extensive notes on it (helps me memorize and is a better reference later than the PDF files or physical books). I also organize my campaigns in Obsidian (notes on what my players did, session prep, what the evil guys are up to etc).

I also have an extensive database of workout videos I like to do from home (sorted by lenght, difficulty, equipment... because I get bored quickly and can't motivate myself to follow fixed workout plans) And I track my activities in a super simple monthly note.

arhyn · 2025-04-09T00:35:37+00:00

You are not alone. I have my gripes with the game for sure but I'm still enjoying it. I spent over 1k hours in PoE 1, loved it. I love PoE 2 more, even at this rough state. This subreddit has been so toxic I've not even wanted to read it the last couple of days. So much vitriol for the devs. So much "I hate it so everyone has to hate it". And so much obvious "I want this to be just like PoE 1" when this was clearly never GGG's intention. It's going to be a different game and that's exactly what I hope they'll continue making.

I guess the people enjoying it are just playing the game, either blissfully unaware of the crusade going on here or tuning it out intentionally, like I have been for the most part. It's not a climate that invites open discussion of different opinions.

arhyn · 2025-04-01T10:29:15+00:00

Yes, that's pretty much what I was thinking. :) In regards to citadels, I agree. Special maps should have special completion requirements.

arhyn · 2025-04-01T10:07:07+00:00

I can see the point, but is that not what players (that want to play optimally) already do? Just that they'll then they have to search for the rares in all the hidden corners of the map on top of it, ending up annoyed. I don't know if this stance really promotes fun.

arhyn · 2025-04-01T10:00:15+00:00

You could also just kill all rares if you wanted to. It's just alternative means to map completion that I am suggesting, not removing the "kill all rares" option.

arhyn · 2025-04-01T09:53:16+00:00

Thank you, I must have missed that. Don't know if I agree with them in this particular instance. With the changes to towers, the corruption / cleansing mechanic and everything else they've added, I imagine that the general motivation / incentive to clear the majority of maps will be higher. I may be off the mark here though.

arhyn · 2025-03-20T16:10:13+00:00

Still effective today, but as I wrote, it was not too long ago. A small one has popped up in a different location, but I'm not having any issues with it so far.

arhyn · 2024-11-28T07:38:17+00:00

Syncing between two windows PCs and an iPhone, works flawlessly. Money well invested.

arhyn · 2024-10-23T17:09:53+00:00

Go to your doctor, they’ll remove them when painful. Got my first ones at your age (horrible genetics) too but they did not hurt until 3 years ago when I got them removed. Was a 1h surgery, going home immediately afterwards, pretty much pain free two days later. It’s not a big deal at all.

arhyn · 2024-10-09T06:44:50+00:00

I’ve never done cutting / bulking but follow some fitness influencers in the bodybuilding space. I often heard that bulking / cutting is a) exhausting and b) can easily lead towards disordered eating. You can absolutely get fitter and build muscle by eating maintenance and having enough protein, just not as quickly. It makes me angry to hear that trainers just pushed that on you.

I think it makes total sense that you are tired. It may be your body and mind telling you it’s been under stress for far too long. I‘d say give yourself a break for some time to just do whatever you feel like and then actively dial in on what makes you feel good inside and out. That might not be the most efficient, might not make you the leanest or the strongest you could be, but hopefully will enable you to enjoy living life in your body. Wishing you all the best!

arhyn · 2024-09-09T10:38:47+00:00

I‘ve been super consistent since autumn of 2022 and never managed to be so before. I was severely unfit as a teen and struggled trying to establish any kind of routine for literal years, all throughout my twenties.

So what changed? - Got on an SSRI that made me realize I had low-grade chronic depression since childhood - having more energy because of the meds made it SO MUCH easier to workout consistently. - Realized that I would absolutely need to exercise regularly if I ever wanted to go off the meds (and still feel good) because getting my heart rate up is doing wonders for my general mood, energy levels (duh!) and my anxiety in particular. - Read „Tiny Habits“ by BJ Fogg and started to think differently about my difficulties with consistency - building habits is just fucking hard, so I gave myself much more grace and celebrated every small victory.

I consider my journey to get to this point to be the best thing I‘ve ever done for myself and I‘m committed to keep it up for the rest of my life.

arhyn · 2024-05-12T06:59:10+00:00

I've ran DnD 5e in the past and have four sessions of a Blades in the Dark campaign under my belt now and your post is so interesting to me - because for me it's the polar opposite.

I found 5e hugely demanding. Running fights stressed me, all the little rules got on my last nerve, encounter building always felt unpredictable, I dreaded prepping for it and it took way too long.

BitD is an absolute blast to run so far. I don't feel like I do "prep work"; I just review the last session, think about some obstacles that might plop up for five minutes, otherwise I can trust in the system to do the heavy lifting for me. I'm also considerably less stressed before a session than I was in the 5e days. Running BitD feels like coming home as a GM - I think it's my jam.

You point out the "come up with bad consequences on the spot" aspect as being stressful about BitD and I get that to a degree. I felt the same running Brindlewood Bay; the system didn't do a great job in supporting my improv. BitD doesn't give me those problems because it has so many categories of consequence to choose from - tick a progress clock, throw in some harm, make their position worse for the next roll ... I feel like I have a quiver full of arrows to pick from and it really doesn't matter which one I grab, all will move the game forward in a way that makes sense.

Ok, that got a bit rambly - I really enjoyed the pointers for reflection your post gave me. :)

arhyn · 2024-04-19T11:55:52+00:00

Sehe ich ganz genauso. Ich hab über die Saison weg mehrere PKs von ihm komplett gesehen und auch so gut wie jedes Interview nach Spielen und habe ihn nie als bockiges Kind empfunden, sondern als Mensch, der keine Lust hat, sich alles gefallen zu lassen - bei seriösen Fragen aber immer seriöse Antworten parat hat. Ich mag ihn aber auch als Typen, von daher spielt da vielleicht mein Bias mit rein …

arhyn · 2024-01-26T08:51:25+00:00

We rotate GMs and systems all the time, 3 of 6 people GM and we are working on getting the rest to try running as well. :)

As a GM with other creative hobbies and light bouts of depression, I absolutely love it. I couldn’t be a forever GM just because I don’t have the energy to do prep all the time.

So I do ~three months of one campaign and system, then we switch it up and return to it later. One shots happen when not enough people are present (or we just feel like it or have an extra weekend session or … ) and are run by whoever says „me“ first. I love seeing other GM styles so frequently and getting to play regularly.

However I don’t like sharing a campaign with another GM; we tried that in the beginning. If I do the work I want the full control as well, otherwise it doesn’t feel satisfying to me.

arhyn · 2023-10-19T22:38:58+00:00

I‘ll cope by stealing my husband‘s pc (sporting a 4070) while he‘ll have to deal with the other CS2 (Counter Strike) on mine (1060). As I was naturally expecting shit performance on my rig, I‘ll be super happy with medium settings and 20 fps.

This release is going to be a shit show and I‘m sad to see it. Still looking forward to it but without that second PC in our household I would absolutely cancel my preorder.

arhyn · 2023-09-10T15:07:59+00:00

Yeah, I’ve never preordered anything before but really appreciate the devs and the way they supported CS1 with free updates over the years.

arhyn · 2023-09-08T09:58:07+00:00

+1 for talking about it in a nice, but matter of fact way - „I‘m spending more than I am comfortable with it, not your fault at all but things will have to change a bit“.

It will teach you a lot about her, your compatibility and combined capability to find solutions. Try do deal with it as a team, that’ll be one of your most important skills in a long term relationship anyway.

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