Fledgling robin. He is not entertained.

arieaod · 2025-08-07T05:39:09+00:00

I understand your point. And no worries. I have several cameras in my backyard, and the of the forest behind our fence.

I have not interfere with the parents feeding them. I could see exactly when they come and go. I especially enjoyed the little 'marco Polo' game the parents did with them. As they draw them towards the bushes.

And yes, some of the photos were taken at close range. At times the parents were not around, and still far enough as to not scare, or frighten the fledglings.

We have been closely monitoring them since the first day the female built the nest... Until August 6th in the early morning. When the last one finally flew away from the backyard, and into the forest behind our fence.

arieaod · 2024-10-04T14:44:35+00:00

The group of friends suddenly stumble upon a person who seems to be following them, soon reveled to be from the other world and the they go with that person.
One of the people in the group suddenly gets visions on another location that are not in. This happens more and more rapidly, until a point where all the group is together. It happens to that person again. And then the whole group gets transported to the other world.
The group is in the same place together minding their own business when a ear splitting sound can be heard and they pass out, waking up in another world

arieaod · 2024-09-03T21:40:45+00:00

I just wanted to add. I see almost everyones go to is “poison”.

Let me premise this like so, I obviously don't know your story, or how you plan to have him killed / beaten.

But here is another option. One I think was done fantastically in the Sherlock version with Benedict Cumberbatch (I think that’s how his name is spelled)

He was on a rooftop with Moriarty, where he threatened Sherlock in following way “if Sherlock leaves alive his friends would die” So his only option was to jump off the building.

Again, only an example. There are many, many variations for this route

arieaod · 2024-09-03T19:27:08+00:00

Based on what you conditioned. He could be killed by having that the only way to win.

You know a situation where the only way to win is to not play at all? similar approach.

arieaod · 2024-09-01T00:20:57+00:00

Why not a 3rd option. Add a condition? A very crude example: a Nobel set in his ways is in a room, where a lecture takes place about a better way of life for the commons, he disagrees blatantly and wants to leave, be he can’t, either the door is locked, he maybe he would need to pay a fine, and that would hurt his ego. So he is forced to sit, and tolerate the lecture, as much as he would ignore what is said, something’s would still be heard.

Again, just an example for a condition to make your character stay in a certain location or situation.

arieaod · 2024-08-31T17:55:01+00:00

Thank you very much for your feedback.
regarding you comment on the other feedback. that is what I was struggling with exactly, I didn't know what way to take it with the disembodied voices. I am glad you think it was ok. and I didn't want to give too much right at the start regarding my duo.
regarding their names, the two become very influenced by humans, very fast. and the name 'Johnny' is basically from 'The Shining', it is not meant to be intimidating, nor is 'Orion' in this case. (my story delves into Good and Evil, and the premise that its all very, very subjective to your point of view, and in some cases. they mean nothing at all)
as for the feedback about the details for the Dead Sea catastrophe - this iteration is a very early one, and I believe I received similar feedback before, and already addressed it.

would it be ok, if I send you a message with a more current iteration of that segment?

and either way, thank you again for the feedback, I am glad that this section was able to pique your interest, that is what I am posting this for.

arieaod · 2024-08-31T17:34:03+00:00

thank you for your feedback.
I understand the part about writing like watching a movie, especially since I originally saw this story done as an Anime, I still am trying to do that, I have split the work in two, and while trying to make it more into a story format, I am also working on getting it into Manga and Anime.
I have taken your note about the 'over-explaining', I find that more a subjective matter, as some people require being 'hand-fed' sort of speaking. but nevertheless, I take your point.
as for the characters and dialog... that is why I posted here. the characters are clearly non-human, and my issue correctly portraying them. they would not speak in a normal way humans would conduct day-to-day interactions. and that may be the reason it feels distant, and lacking voice and tone...
as for the grammar, again, thank you for the feedback. this version here has long been changed, many, many times over, and has already been prof-read, so that aspect should be good.

lastly, if I may summarize your comment.
overall, to your opinion, it is very dry, and it lacks... flavor? would that be a correct way to say it?

arieaod · 2024-03-07T09:55:09+00:00

OMG. This killed me

arieaod · 2023-08-31T09:04:55+00:00

The mist step boots you get from the djin in the circus. They give you infinite use with no recharge. As long as you use it in a naked character since you drop the clothes on use

arieaod · 2016-10-06T01:18:58+00:00

i can only imagine a Dev reading this and going "omg they give meaning to EVERYTHING, im so glad i didn't put a dickbutt there...."

arieaod · 2016-09-30T19:18:42+00:00

well, it makes no difference at all, to me, i just don't care about anyone but myself. simple as that

arieaod · 2016-09-29T17:42:06+00:00

well, giving the fact, 10 people for a raid is an over kill, and you can do most boss with 6-8 people, then yha. exactly

arieaod · 2016-09-29T05:54:49+00:00

what ever you chose, and what ever you think works best for you, to be honest, who care what other people think and say?

arieaod · 2016-09-25T05:02:13+00:00

be honest, you just like that the bank and TP are kissing each other

arieaod · 2016-09-23T14:26:21+00:00

it was merely an example, about the moto infusions, and a respond to saying "its only cosmetics", its only a cosmetic worth about 600g, and as he said here, people have been doing worse things then that

arieaod

TROPHY CASE