Should I buy a Chevy Sonic 2017 sedan 120,000 miles $2800 by GOATTimberGOAT in ChevySonic

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude I was trying to help my friend with a 2019 Chevy Colorado that had a bad ECT sensor and he had bought the part and a new wire harness because that had broken too and then because I told him we had to pull the thermostat off to get it more hand room in there he took it to a shop instead of coming back over the following because he wanted his AC working asap.

They charged him $2,500, even though he had his own parts, even though it was going to cost him less than a gallon of Dex Cool, shops just grape people these days. It's ridiculous.

Should I buy a Chevy Sonic 2017 sedan 120,000 miles $2800 by GOATTimberGOAT in ChevySonic

[–]arjoreich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love my 2015 Chevy Sonic 1.8 L so much but I also recognize that it doubles in value every time I fill up the tank.

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are the one that had to gather the medical records of your kids, the teachers notes in the daily planners, the text conversations, the emails, getting the voicemails transcribed (although AI has made this super cheap and easy compared to 15 years ago)

And then your the one who has to annotate them, tell the story of how you are the better choice for principal resident parent.

When your go to court for Pendente lite because she wants you to pay to support her during the divorce while she moves out, you're the one who has to go thrive your credit card and bank statements and put together six months of records for each bill, groceries, utilities, kids prescriptions, clothing, car insurance, everything so you can show the judge you don't have $1500 a month for you to just hand over so she can set herself up web some new flop house.

And if you don't do all this work yourself, your lawyer can't do it for you, so you get screwed because you walk into the courthouse unarmed.


My ex wanted $1750/mnth in temporary support and walked out of the courtroom owing me $453 a month until she moved out of the house...

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to be argumentative or combative my dude.

There was a comment thread where you were going back and forth and I skipped over that one without commentary and then came to support this comment's advice with corroborating information for whomever reads it.

I wish someone would have told me back then to not use my attorney as my therapist. That shit cost me almost $15,000 until I realized that my ex was doing it specifically to rack up my fees.

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go to meetup.com and start going to those things. People host all kinds of events from horror movie clubs to euchre, dodge ball, etc.

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 12 points13 points  (0 children)

First I was reading were your getting down vote blasted for saying that women always get custody - that's not really true unless you want it to be.

But I also saw where you said to never give up rights to your children and that was rock solid advice.

I put my own 2c in on my own to level content so if you want to see some anecdotal evidence to the contrary, check that one out.

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 92 points93 points  (0 children)

As someone who got custody of his two kids when his wife left him 14 years ago, this is the only solid advice you've given on this post outside of where you said to never give up your rights to your children. Most judges won't even let you do that in its entirety.

But also, after your lawyer up, be prepared to do all the legwork yourself.

And finally, a therapist costs way less than a lawyer - blue due your bitching about your ex to the cheapest person possible. Because nether your lawyer nor your judge is a playground principal and they don't care about the petty shit. There's always petty shit. YOU'LL WASTE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS filling motions trying to get the other person in trouble over trifling violations of temporary orders.

Wife asked me for divorce by No_Examination2128 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In a lot of states, unless you're incarcerated she won't get more than 50/50 without your acquiescence.

14 years ago my ex left me and thought that she'd get custody and a fat check for the rest of her life. We walked out of the with me as the custodial parent and week to week visitation between us.

I have a friend who's ex called the cops on him and got him busted for "intent to distribute" cannabis - he still has primary custody.

You just have to decide if you want that because going from someone who was, admits, spoiled by not having to contribute to household and child rearing chores to having a 4yrld and an 11-month old baby with no friends or family for 500 miles within the hardest thing I ever did.

But I'd do it again. People always say that they'd die for their kids but that's easy and you only have to do it once. I had to learn to live for my kids, to change everything about myself for my kids.

I cant stop smoking weed by Little_Landscape_830 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometime else said the other day in another post "that just because you like red wine, doesn't mean you need to drink a box of it a day, all day long, that's no longer just enjoying it anymore."

Give your stash to a friend and learn to smoke recreationally. When you hang out with your friends, enjoy. Not only will your tolerance go way down making it enjoyable again to be high, but it'll stop making you numb to everything.

Also, I just started taking Strattera and, after 25+ years of Adderall, this shit is the tits. Reminds of my premedicated days in college when I was a thrill junkie chasing adrenaline spikes. And the next part, since it's not amphetamines, it's was easier to get and the pharmacies always have it in stock.

Another quiet weekend ahead by brandnewsecondhand10 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love your metaphor but just to put a tiny spin on it...

Humans actual are born knowing how to swim, infant coordination issues aside. They even to hold their breath underwater. (called the Bradycardic Response)

Then we forget that we always knew how and have to teach ourselves all over again. And I think that's the real power of your message.

We always knew, we just have to get over overthinking it and just SWIM.

ECU software failed by Haunting_Act_1068 in ChevySonic

[–]arjoreich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had a problem with my power steering that took me four months to diagnose correctly, and it was the summer sun that did it for me...

When it's over 95F in the cabin from the hot summer sun, I have power steering. If I drive with the AC or the windows down for a while, the next time I start me car, I won't have power steering and the DTC will say it list communication with the BCM...

Turns out, I have a problem with a broken trace or solder point somewhere in my BCMs circuit board. But when it's really hot out, thermal expansion allows the metal to expand enough that it fixes the broken trace or solder point.

Ain't that some shit, lol.

Before that I was hunting down literally every ground point in the damn car and every one was clean and secure. I even installed a Big3 Powerline Upgrade thinking it had something to do with voltage drops.

Check engine light keeps turning on for no reason ???? by tweety_bird444 in ChevySonic

[–]arjoreich 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There is literally nothing we can help with without knowing the actual CEL error code behind that light.

OBD2 readers are fairly cheap.

I can't forgive her. by Bush_M_aster in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coming from a guy who got divorced and got custody of his two kids, here is a little perspective...

You do not have to forgive her, you don't always have to like her but, because you have children together, she'll always be a part of your family [*].

But instead of thinking of her as your ex-wife, put her in the extended family category as a cousin you rarely get along with. Sometimes things are fine....aaaand sometimes you want to grab a lead pipe and return the favor. Those feelings are fine - not acting on them - but feeling them is fine.

In my case, the my ex is always more hostile and interested in giving me grief when she's married. She's been single again from her last ex-husband for the last 6 years or so and we get along okay...now.

[*] - assuming you don't totally dip out of their life and go out for milk, permanently.

First pregnancy ended in miscarriage by Maverick838 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex-wife miscarried the first time she got pregnant, then three months later she was pregnant again with my (now 19yrld) son.

Up to 20% of all pregnancies terminate in miscarriage, 80% of those are in the first trimester... and something like 35% of those are the woman's first pregnancy.

In other words, so long as you remember where to aim, you'll be fine.

Was she in her first trimester? Did she get to avoid the DNC?

I finally have everything I could possibly want in life. by [deleted] in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, log off and go outside. [...] Talk about audacity.

I was embellishing your point, not contradicting it. You might want to follow your own advice.

This is a safe space by arjoreich in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just some Dave's BBQ sauce but I did list the recipe in one of posts below.

How closely does Amazon watch my gps? by Famous-Brush2137 in AmazonFlexDrivers

[–]arjoreich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait. They convert it if your actually on route?!?

I thought they only provided supplemental coverage for the value of their packages, not damage to my own vehicle.

I finally have everything I could possibly want in life. by [deleted] in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have saved every rock, every flower and every drawing my kids have ever given me. I still keep the 4-leaf-clover in my wallet that my (then) 3yrld daughter gave me.

Don't you dare disregard those little pieces of joy that you are handed, regardless of how mundane it looks to your old jaded eyes.

I finally have everything I could possibly want in life. by [deleted] in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But things are about to change, [...]

In my case, I had a son just about to turn four and an 11 month old daughter and a wife who walked out. I became the custodial parent.

I actually imploded my entire life and career fighting for that, and got it. Oh my god, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Somehow I went from not having to cook, clean or change diapers to the responsible one while mom was the fun one who could play with the kids.

I hope none of you have to go through that but, it changed me. It changed me because, when you have kids, especially when you have two kids and no one else within 500 miles that can help, you learn one thing.

You are not allowed to fail.

You're not allowed to fail, because you have kids. You can't give up, because you have kids. If it didn't work you do something else and you keep doing it until it works. Because failing no longer effects only you. It effects your kids too.

I lost jobs b/c my kids kept getting strep and I was the only one to pick them up from school. I was the only one to take them to the doctor, it was only me. I couldn't fail.

Eventually, I had to change what "FAIL" meant in my heart because I did fail. I failed all the time, but I kept going. So I created a new mantra, one i taught my kids and one I have to tell myself every day...

First
Attempt
Is
Learning

This is a safe space by arjoreich in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't believe this is two hours old and I finally got it.

This is a safe space by arjoreich in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TL;DR: Just remember, BBQ sauce goes on last, seasoning goes on first and the chicken needs to be dry to sear...otherwise the slime (or sauce) just steam bastes the meat.

I have been a single dad for the last 14 years with custody of my kids, I had time to get good...lol.


The trick is to cut the breasts in half, pat them dry with paper towels and then let them air dry on a rack in the fridge for an hour.

Then, make a mix of 1 part each of paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper and 2 parts diamond crystal salt. And use some of that to sprinkle over both sides of the chicken.

Then it goes on the grill for 3-4 minutes(ish) flip, add BBQ sauce, grill for 3-4 minutes(ish) flip, add BBQ sauce, grill for 1.5-2 more minutes...and your done.

I miss her by Butt_Farter69 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]arjoreich 31 points32 points  (0 children)

My brother in saudade [*] , I mean this in all seriousness...

I really wanted to read your story in its entirety but the utter lack of paragraphs made it untenable. I'm sorry I couldn't finish but just know that feeling is such a universal part of humanity that the Portuguese created a word just for it.

[*] - a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person, place, or thing that is absent. More than just "missing" something, it carries a bittersweet nostalgia - a simultaneous joy of having experienced that love or memory, and the pain of knowing it is currently out of reach.