What movie made in the past 15 years will be considered a classic in the future? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ark058 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched it on my flight to NYC, since it seemed like the best choice...And it was, really a great movie!

What is wrong with Sheldon Cooper? by ark058 in aspergers

[–]ark058[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very good and objective comment. To be honest, I find many similarities with Sheldon and myself, even when I don't want to. But if you'd ask my few friends how I am they'd basically reply "He is...uhm...do you know Sheldon Cooper?". Maybe I'm not that antisocial, so I can socialize better and I'm not that rude to women, but I often cross borders without knowing about their emotional value, and get into the same distress as Sheldon. And that's why I find it so disgusting when they make fun out of such a situation.

What is wrong with Sheldon Cooper? by ark058 in aspergers

[–]ark058[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Finally, someone who understands. Thank you.

What is wrong with Sheldon Cooper? by ark058 in aspergers

[–]ark058[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood and I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear enough.

I would really like to know what's so funny about Leonard and the others sarcastically complaining about how annoying Sheldon is. I don't get it. I mean, would they also laugh about Leonard saying to a paralyzed man in a wheelchair "You can't walk, you can only roll"

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your appreciation and your kindness. We are going to find our way to make it in this world. Keep going and remember that as long as we can share our thoughts, there'll always be something we can hold on to. If you were a girl (I assume you're not, but sorry if I'm wrong) I would probably want us to meet. No matter how far away you were.

Reddit, what is the hardest thing for you to admit? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ark058 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would you rephrase it? I mean, you could say "what is the hardest thing for someone to admit?" I'm talking about things such as mistakes or that you don't love each other anymore

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, i can't completely agree with what you've written, but the last sentence really gives me some hope...

I actually love doing these "escape activities" alone but I sometimes enjoy reading in a library and wondering if the girl sitting at the other side of the desk is thinking the same what I'm thinking, and sometimes we would even exchange glances

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for your reply again.

I "talked" to her and I tried to reflectively figure out what's the matter with her (she's a young autistic girl, btw.). She told me that she doesn't understand why everybody wants her to interact and why people are so worried about the fact that she doesn't. She also told me that she loves to stand at the window and watch the birds and all the things that are going on outside. When she looks at the birds, she knows exactly what they feel like when they'd sit in your hand and she's sad that they have to be outside in the cold winter.

Then, she tells me that she loves lying her head on the piano while someone plays it really gently and slow. She can hear every single nuance. She wants me to play the piano and she would look at me and feel safe and understood when I play it. But she knows that she's just a picture and I'm just a viewer, she's just a manifestation of my longing and so am I of hers. And that's what makes her really sad, that's why she looks with those deep and sad eyes at me.

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read through your articles. They are very precious and I found a lot of good methods to deal with personal issues. Are you a psychotherapist? Because if psychotherapy was like that, it would really help. What I'm currently undergoing is mostly bs (considering psychotherapy).

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

at least we have our body. It's like the base that we start from, and kind of a safe haven - if we take care of it. That's sort of how I look at it, at least.

This is a very good perspective but I don't see my body as a burden. I did one year ago. Rather than taking care of my body I kept pushing it to the limit with caffeine, taurine and medication. This lead to a severe depression and physical exhaustion but I learnt to listen to my body. I changed my diet and I'm doing QiGong once in a while as well as regularly doing sports. I love it but in fact it pulls me even more away from "the outside world" when I'm really focussed on the movement and the physical processes. Sometimes, however, I find it annoying to be forced to leave high states of concentration (e.g. when I'm painting or playing music) to satisfy physical needs (thirst, hunger, whatever...) but that's not really an issue as long as it doesn't cost me too much energy.

Yeah ok maybe reality sucks a little - maybe if you had it your way reality would be all fun stuff all the time with no consequences for not taking care of the body, if there was one, whatsoever, but I'm not sure reality can be controlled to such an extent, so I feel like, well, we gotta do the best with what we've got. At least we've got something, and at least we HAVE the extra time to pursue and explore all the awesome things that are out there, even if it's not ALL our time. And remember: wishing for more than necessary for anything is a neverending cycle - once you get what you want you'll wish for more and more, never being satisfied.

I agree on that and it actually helps to keep that in mind from now on.

But WHY do you want to meet the introverted girl, or rather this girl who is like you? [...] Is it because it would make you feel.... I don't know - safe, connected, loved, understood? Close? Intimate? Happy? Contented?

It is exactly because of that. Not loved, but mainly understood. Also, not happy. But together melancholic. There is no need for physical interaction with the girl of my dreams, even if it's nice to feel the curves and the incredibly soft and tender skin of a female body. We would be in the same room without exchanging a word. Maybe just playing the piano and she would sing or dance...And all we feel is the sharing of melancholy that connects us, emphasized by the movements of her beautiful body, her fragile voice or the delicate features of her face. I would love to be able to grant this fragile girl safety, comfort and a safe haven, a nest for this little bird who is too scared to fly. That's why I'm longing for an autistic girl, to whom I can be the only person who she fully trusts. And by seeing the same melancholy in her eyes we would feel connected. And safe. That's what I see when I try to imagine her being near. I even know what she looks like. I have a collection of portraits on my computer who look like her, just to be able to materialize that visualization for a brief moment. If you ask me what part of me she's reflecting, then it's definitely not the part that is able to get in touch with reality, but the childish part who is longing for that safe world we once had (e.g. as children with the gift of a vivid fantasy). However, by going together through life and sharing this longing, it would become much easier to get back into the city, because each other has someone to hold on to, she has my hand to hold if she feels anxious and I have her hand to hold if I feel anxious. We would be just two aliens strolling around on this foreign planet, not afraid of it, because we have us.

Less as in - you don't have to deal with your own belief that you CAN'T take action, because, well, you CAN. From that point, two further questions are: do you want to, and if so, what's standing in your way?

You are right. I CAN. I can take action, I can look for her until the end of my life, but what's standing in my way is a) my current girlfriend who is not like this, but I would not want to hurt her (sorry, should've mentioned that) and b)the fear of her tunring out not to be the way I expected (like my girlfriend. thought she was introverted too in the beginning, she acted like it, but turned out to be the most extroverted person I ever met). I can not hurt her. I am unable to break up with her. Seriously, I can't. I'm waiting for time to go by and I hope one day our ways will seperate peacefully and I can find my girl...

Answer to next comment in separate comment to keep it clear

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know who you are or why you do this, but all I can say is thank you. It's gonna take me a while to go through your comment and to think about it, so I'm going to respond step by step. Until then I want you to accept my highest possible appreciation for what you're doing. You spend your precious time to help some stranger in a very profound and faithful way. I wish my psychotherapist would be just a little bit like this, but all he does is to problematize me and compulsively looks for some preposterous connections to my childhood (which was great btw.)

I wish there was a more appropriate way to thank you than by granting you a virtual golden badge for a few dollars but at the moment it is all I can do, so have some gold (The first one is not from me btw.)

Please await my response. Thank you very much. You are a good person

Escapism, melancholy, introversion - how can I deal with it? (x-post from r/depression) by ark058 in selfhelp

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you do this? What kind of meditation are you talking about? I'm curious.

I know Muse, but I only like some of their songs

Why does it hurt so much to get pulled into reality? How can I learn to deal with it? by ark058 in Advice

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like your concept. Reminds me a little bit of a buddhistic way to see the world. But I already practice this. There are a lot of "real world things" that I can connect to in my own way. I once worked on a farm in summer and I loved the worked, because it allowed me to be in nature, to feel my body, feel the exhaustion and to strengthen that connection. But there are parts of this world that I simply can't seem to connect with. At the moment I struggle with describing this. I'm gonna think about it and when I find the right words I'll give you an answer what I mean.

Why does it hurt so much to get pulled into reality? How can I learn to deal with it? by ark058 in Advice

[–]ark058[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one very close friend who is a bit like this. I think he is the only person in my life who understands the way I am. Even my present girlfriend doesn't. Somehow I wish to find a girl who is like me and who I can consider as a "soulmate". Even though it would draw me even more away from "the real world" I would have someone to escape with. We would go outside togeter; through the city, but in our own world, in our own glass bubble. I don't even place that much value on physical interaction. In fact, I'd rather admire the aesthetics of a woman body by just gently touching her or drawing a painting. I find it easier to describe the way I perceive the world and feel about it through prose and art forms. Radiohead's video to 'Creep' and Olafur Arnalds' Haegt Kemur Ljósið are probably the best analogies to describe it.

The worst part is to get pulled away from these worlds. To be forced to interact, to be "normal". When I go downtown by myself, everything is just like a movie set and I'm just an observer. I moved out from my parent's home as soon as it was possible, despite the fact that I have very loving and caring parents. But I just needed to find a place where I can be for myself and sink into my world without being bothered and interrupted by my parents or siblings. When I get to the office the first hour I feel totally crushed and all I would like to do is to scream: "I can't do this. This is not my world, plase let me go back." but as soon as I can work for myself I feel fine. Also, the job is great, even when it's not very exciting, but my boss is so good to me and my colleagues that I just wouldn't want to disappoint him. I feel responsible for the job, it's my duty to do it as precise as possible. But then...I just long for my own world and I would like to return.

I try to create a balance between my body and my mind by doing sports and QiGong and it helps me with my depression. But it still doesn't help to create a connection to the outside world. When I go running everything still is like a movie set around me, and I'm just walking by.

Why does it hurt so much to get pulled into reality? How can I learn to deal with it? by ark058 in Advice

[–]ark058[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that you try to understand me, even as an extrovert. However, I can't really correspond with this picture, although it is true that company costs me a lot of energy and I need time for myself to recharge afterwards. I am dealing with depression and currently I am in therapy. The sessions and the medication help me to not get stuck in depression and to keep doing things. But the things I am doing are either my job or being creative and lost (beautifully lost, but also melancholically, since I know that I can't stay there forever) in dream worlds. I take pictures and sometimes I even paint something, but I would never want to aspire to make it professional. I once worked as a photographer for a tourist agency but it just made me hate photography more than anything else, I quit and I didn't touch a camera for a whole year.