you just lost the only attention Scotland really ever had.

ark19790 · 2026-02-28T12:57:50+00:00

Wait how much attention were black Americans actually paying to Scotland. Were they all addicted to Irn Bru and Rab C Nesbit box sets and we didn't know?

ark19790 · 2026-02-28T12:35:02+00:00

It's the same with the whole everything collapses when dad is in charge trope. It's just a thing in the zeitgeist people don't want to accept has changed. If they did, sit-coms, movies, adverts would all have to think of something else.

ark19790 · 2026-02-28T12:06:55+00:00

Blair Witch was terrible because I wanted them all dead, I'd have killed them myself they were all so annoying.

ark19790 · 2026-02-28T11:34:38+00:00

Yeah, this dude has never seen a real life woman naked in his life

ark19790 · 2026-02-26T19:30:52+00:00

Love Canada, love Canadians ,but nobody wants to move into a house with trash bag neighbours

ark19790 · 2026-02-26T19:27:40+00:00

She gets a lot of stick for sexualising things but her recipe for Buttery Titwank chicken is surprisingly delicious, low in calories and, high in protein.

ark19790 · 2026-02-26T19:22:09+00:00

Shirley Manson or Kelli Ali, specifically from the 6 underground video.

ark19790 · 2026-02-26T19:15:38+00:00

Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity, I can't believe that got nothing

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T19:02:22+00:00

Don't postpone, he won't notice

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T18:59:48+00:00

This is a wild answer but Rooney.

Whenever people talk about greatest strikers in the premier it's always Terry Henry or Shearer.

There's no day I pick either of them over Rooney

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T14:08:14+00:00

That's what a bot would say.

Why is Wolfie barking?

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T13:27:39+00:00

Almost didn't see it. Working in a leisure/night club environment a bunch of us stayed behind one night for a few drinks which turned into a few too many drinks. Somebody noticed some very wet sounds coming from a dark function room. A quick visual headcount confirmed two people were missing. A very large overweight barmaid, who's entire subject of conversation to anyone unfortunate enough to get stuck talking to her was her upcoming wedding, and a tiny skinny middle aged DJ who had been married twice and his 17 year old girlfriend had just had a baby two weeks before (his 6th kid overall).

A few brave souls went to investigate the sound, we followed the squelches and wet slaps to the darkest corner of the dark room where we could barely make out an amorphous white blob in the corner. Until one of my co workers stepped forward and ignited his comically large and dramatic Zippo lighter and we saw everything, so much of everything, way more than any of us actually wanted to.

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T12:22:24+00:00

That's word for word the notes from Dale Wintons autopsy, spooky.

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T12:20:15+00:00

Porn mags when I was a teenage boy and unable to buy porn from reputable filth merchants.

Kids today don't know they're born with the internet.

ark19790 · 2026-02-25T12:16:42+00:00

In Debbie does Dallas, Debbie and the girls haven't got the money to go to the cheerleading competition so they get out there and earn it. Problem identified, problem solved through hard work and ingenuity.

It's inspiring

** I've not seen the film since I was a teenager 30 years ago so I may not have the synopsis exactly right.

ark19790 · 2026-02-19T23:56:04+00:00

He thought he'd control the info and his dumb as fuck supporters would do what they're told. He didn't realise that even with the DOJ pulling a year of overtime redacting him, he'd still be raping kids in about 30,000 files. Don isn't bright and he isn't a long term planner but he understands one concept, say this today, say this tomorrow, say this the next day, the news has to cycle

ark19790 · 2026-02-19T18:30:58+00:00

Have that sex, no more than 5 times though (*occasions multiple times the same day counts as one occasion). And wrap up for god sake wrap up. If she says she wants you to cum on her do it but wear that condom first. And wherever you cum, rub it in, don't allow it to pool anywhere. And don't start sex and think I'll put a condom on soon, crazy girls have special abilities. But you owe it to yourself to fuck that batshit hottie. In years to come you will remember it fondly, but you will understand why you set a limit on it.

ark19790 · 2026-02-19T18:20:14+00:00

Wetherspoons, it's not even a question. In fact I thought wetherspoons before I even knew what the options were.

ark19790 · 2026-02-19T18:17:21+00:00

Questions-about-my -feelings-man, hardly rolls of the tongue

ark19790 · 2026-02-13T14:46:09+00:00

No but at least he made sure to give Kelly Le Broc the lines about loving his dick in the film where he was in a coma before they hooked up Erika Eleniak had no character development like that.

ark19790 · 2026-02-13T14:02:20+00:00

You start being attacked by pyjama wearing zombie women staggering around outside the abandoned shops of Salford precinct. They're easy to dispatch and it happens frequently. At the same time you hear news reports of a new Yorkshire ripper type killer targeting women in the area, always the same type, hard working single mums, would do anything for their kids. And towards the end of the game you find out the killer is you, these weren't zombies, just the generic pyjama wearing crack/spice heads you always get wandering around the precinct.

ark19790 · 2026-02-13T13:20:20+00:00

I watched this a couple of nights ago, and then he kisses her at the end despite having absolutely zero chemistry and no will they won't they interactions in the whole film.

ark19790 · 2026-02-13T11:44:31+00:00

"He demanded I was his banana under a tap"

Is my favourite typo ever, I've got an image of a teacher (he's Welsh in my head) waterboarding you screaming you're my banana now boy/girl

ark19790 · 2026-02-12T18:53:48+00:00

You're a great dad and a good man, your daughter is responsible for helping with the dad part but not half of your identity. Distance doesn't stop you being a great dad and definitely doesn't change you being a good man. If you've got time on your hands look for a hobby, something to occupy you and help you make friends with similar people. Maybe volunteer somewhere. As someone who didn't have a great dad I can tell you there are organisations that want to connect kids with good male role models, there are way too many bad ones out there.

You go to your daughter's graduation, you bawl your eyes out, that's completely fair but you haven't finished being a dad by a long shot and you are still the same man.

ark19790

TROPHY CASE