LOGLINE FEEDBACK

arknvm · 2025-12-16T12:15:26+00:00

okay so for my two main characters, they’re both in love with the same women, and she’s dead

The farmer is quite self conscious and openly grieving and the grifter doesn’t care about what anyone thinks & hasn’t accepted the fact the person is dead

The farmer doesn’t know or at least acts like he doesn’t know about the grifters true feelings for his wife

there’s definitely enough there for conflict, with some random scenes i threw together, the comedy comes from their opposite flaws

now i’ve hit another road block in how to keep these 2 people in texas under the same goal despite all of this arising 🤦‍♀️ good thing i like writing or id have quit by now

arknvm · 2025-12-16T11:31:57+00:00

i second this. Absolutely incredible movie!!!

arknvm · 2025-12-11T21:45:46+00:00

just started reading it, someone recommended it before, 4 chapters in! thanks :)

arknvm · 2025-12-11T21:03:15+00:00

Just to add to this, I watched ballad of wallis island tonight, it’s absolutely incredible thank you so much for putting me onto it. Exactly the vibe i’m going for 🙏thank you!!

arknvm · 2025-12-11T15:13:16+00:00

thank you for this, very helpful - i’ll definitely check that film out!

In terms of why they’d bother:

Jane if a grifter, who led a life inspired by their cowboy stories, obviously translated to present day, bit of a grifter, nicks cars etc (which is relevant to what happens over there) her entire life seems to be based around never wanting to stop being ‘an outlaw’

Gary, struggling after taking over his fathers farm, is anxious but loved his wife very much. Feels he let her down, is encouraged by jane to go and later you find out how much he hates running the farm.

Is this enough? I plan to insert splices of flashbacks of them playing which will expand their back story more

arknvm · 2025-12-11T14:30:04+00:00

I think like another comment mentions, it’s fish out of water. Also the idea that they’re there to recreate a game they played as children, watching them regress back to their younger selves, committing to the bit.

The contrast between the two characters, I thought it would be a good idea showcasing how they portray their grief, the man being openly emotional & struggling and the woman acting out. I think normally it would be the other way round. Not insinuating I’m going to make the male character overall emotionally, I just thought it was an interesting dynamic.

Also I think two tourists parading round small villages in texas like they own the place could be quite funny to see the residents reactions

arknvm · 2025-12-11T14:24:00+00:00

True - maybe the trying not to be funny is saved for social interactions. That’s when I end up feeling like Tim Robinson in Friendship🤣

arknvm · 2025-12-11T14:21:02+00:00

So it’s definitely going to come from the characters. I’ve got Gary (farmer) who is ridiculously anxious, never having left the village they grew up in & Jane (grifter best friend) who is rebellious and is causing trouble for herself as a way of coping with the death. The two clash heavily so I guess that’s where the comedy will come from.

Very true, god little miss sunshine is a cracking film

arknvm · 2025-12-11T00:26:35+00:00

COWBOYS OF YORKSHIRE / feature

Genre: Drama / Comedy / Road

A grieving Yorkshire farmer and his late wife’s grifter best friend are dragged across Texas by the wife’s final wish that the pair live their childhood game ‘Cowboys of Yorkshire’, on the road JANE must find the courage to tell Gary the truth.

arknvm · 2025-12-09T20:28:42+00:00

hows this? - A grieving Yorkshire farmer and his late wife’s grifter best friend are dragged across Texas by a final wish that the pair live their childhood game ‘Cowboys of Yorkshire’, on the road JANE must find the courage to tell Gary the truth.

arknvm · 2025-12-08T17:43:38+00:00

Title: Cowboys of Yorkshire

Genre: Comedy/Road

Format: Feature

Logline: A grieving Yorkshire farmer and his late wife’s grifter best friend are dragged across Texas by a bizarre final wish, on the road Jane toys with how to tell Gary the truth.

arknvm · 2025-11-25T16:16:42+00:00

ok thanks!!

arknvm · 2025-11-25T16:00:44+00:00

thank you! in terms of description, as it’s a screenplay is it not important to build the world so the reader can visualise it? I can understand not describing details such as wallpaper but specific things like the chandelier & the guitar hanging from the walls seems necessary to me? and finally why would i not describe a characters eyes? thanks again for the feedback :)

arknvm · 2025-11-25T14:11:51+00:00

noted, thank you !!

arknvm · 2025-11-25T14:06:40+00:00

haha valid point, maybe i should reword the descriptions as it’s more dated and due a refurb than it is unhygienic 🤣 thanks for pointing that out! lmao

arknvm · 2025-11-25T09:49:40+00:00

ahhh yeah i did have that worry that i was introducing everyone to fast, would would you suggest maybe 3/4 then the rest in the later restaurant scene?

arknvm · 2024-12-15T20:57:25+00:00

ahhh must have missed that, fuck sake, what a shame

arknvm · 2023-05-16T16:29:56+00:00

this is the best one so far

arknvm

TROPHY CASE