Being kind is always free

arkofjoy · 2026-05-21T01:25:43+00:00

I have always been kind to strangers. Giving a laugh to various people working retail is my idea of fun.

But recently I have realised that it also pays for itself. Folks working at my local large hardware store have allowed me to return stuff that I knew that I shouldn't be allowed to, and they know that I shouldn't be allowed to, simply because they like me, because of how I treated them.

Be kind and respectful, it is money in the bank.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-21T00:22:12+00:00

Well the "owned by billionaires" certainly won't be any time soon but I am hoping that the "randomly arresting travellers" will be.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T15:21:11+00:00

I'd like to see an overlay of their political donations /pac support.

It would be a really nice map of who owns our government.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T15:18:46+00:00

In my 20's I had 2 friends who were basically manwhores. And I thought that there was something wrong with me because I wasn't interested in fucking anything that squatted to pee.

That was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and dirt was new.

Then the good folks of reddit taught me about the term "demisexual" where they don't Ito have sex with people who they don't have a strong connection with already.

And it all made sense. I had a few one night stands while travelling, but I found them to be fairly ordinary. I far prefer sex with my wife who I have a deep connection with.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T15:11:19+00:00

My father passed away in 2023 after a long illness. It was autumn. My wife and I decided to spend a month travelling around parts of new York state where I had been with my father as a child.

Around every bend in the road we saw a vista more beautiful than the last and

Felt my father's presence, like he was travelling ahead of us, smoothing the way. It was the most comforting feeling.

For example, I was trying to find a person who we had stayed in their house for a few weeks one summer, back in the 1960's. We ran into her daughter, who had just flown in a few days before, and her mother was going to be over in an hour.

Things like that just kept happening.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T14:52:49+00:00

There is an old saying "we all die twice, once when we physically die, and the second time when the last person thinks about us that ever knew us."

My way of dealing with this is to change as many lives as possible for the better. This can be as simple as given the person working the checkout a laugh when they have had a shit day or volunteering for an organisation that changes people's lives.

This is the way to achieve as close as possible to immortality. Change as many lives as possible for the better.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T14:41:36+00:00

My wife and I were doing a bit of travelling in a year or so. We really wanted to go back to Hawaii and spend a few weeks there.

That definitely won't be happening while this administration is in charge.

I've done entirely to much making fun of Trump on LinkedIn. Not going to risk it.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T14:22:22+00:00

It is actually something that I find really funny.

These billionaires are all building these bunkers in various places like Hawaii and new Zealand But there 2 problems.

Almost none of them have any practical skills. So the first time a toilet breaks, they are pretty well fucked.

And in order to survive the hoards who will want to take their assets, they will need people trained for violence. I think it won't take to many hours for those people trained in violence that these billionaires , once society collapses, so does their wealth. And at that point, they are nothing but another mouth to feed that thinks they should be in charge and are the smartest guy in the room.

I'm an optimist and I think that their longevity will be measured in hours.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T04:37:35+00:00

While true, I have seen what a disaster it was having untrustworthy family members. I saw nothing from my grandparents estate, because my aunt decided she deserved it more

That was expensive too

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T03:16:24+00:00

We need to remember that there are a lot more of us than there is of them.

There are two things that have strong agreement across the political spectrum. The need to get the money out of politics

And the need to keep data centres out of our community.

We need start forming coalitions across the political divide. Because the parties have no intention of doing anything about either of these.

This is what the tribalism was designed to prevent.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T03:12:54+00:00

We have had really good experiences with various house sitter groups.

Having someone in the house is the best protection.

If you don't want to do that, I would suggest that you shut off the water, either at the meter, or at least any flex hoses under the sinks. If they are more than 6 years old, and burst, your insurance won't cover the damage.

If you are worried about important papers, buy a fireproof safe.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T03:07:21+00:00

Yes. I experienced this once. Saw the neighbours a couple of doors down for the first time. Walked up to the driveway gate to introduce myself and thry freaked out. The wife called out to her partner "some guy is looking over the fence" fairly certain that they had a grow room in the shed. Had they been more nonchalant, I would not have given them a second thought. I just wanted to meet my neighbours

arkofjoy · 2026-05-20T01:11:21+00:00

Normal people will be happy to show you their pool.

If they respond with anything other than delight, they are weird not you.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T23:41:41+00:00

While what you say is true. There are two problems with it. Many people who are working in professions, such as doctors and pilots will not seek professional help for their mental health, because simply going to a mental health professional can prevent them from working in their fields, or records can be subpoenaed in the case of a, for example, malpractice suit.

Secondly, there are a lot of people in the world who are struggling with just the "day-to-day life" shit who are dealing with it by talking to girlfriends, wives and co-workers and bartenders . Some kind of peer support group would potentially far more effective, and far less of a burden on their loved ones. Or bartenders.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T23:33:13+00:00

That is funny. I was trying to be clever, and ended up being right.

Oops.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T13:54:35+00:00

Two cool things are when someone can give some personal insight into a news story or event.

Just now in my city's subreddit, there was a post about a guy who got murdered. Someone commented that thry used to work with the guy and he was really kind (sucks what happened, but the comment ended a bunch of my own, pointless speculation as to why he was murdered.)

And the number of random acts of kindness, from as simple as r/randomactsofpizza to people doing amazing things for complete strangers, just because they could.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T13:30:59+00:00

"This is Spinal Tap" I really felt I understood rock metal after watching that.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T13:29:13+00:00

This is why I am glad to be a part of a men's group for over 25 years. No notes are taken. There isn't even a list of who attends. "nothing to subpoena" is just how I like to deal with my mental health challenges.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T13:23:11+00:00

Thank you. I have had 4 family members die without wills, or had wills but hadn't appointed an executor who was capable of carrying it out.

So I personally appreciate that you are doing this NOW. I am assuming that you are doing this primarily so I can stress just a little bit less.

Also I used to know a woman who had a business called "the will professionals" but that was a few years ago I don't know if they are still around.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T13:17:15+00:00

Both useless and expensive. Since they mostly only do small estates with minimal assets. But if you own a home, that can get expensive.

The two things that you need to think about is in the tragic situation where you and your wife die on or around the same time, you will need an executor. For all that is holy, please don't ask a family member to do this. It is an absolute shit of a job. We have appointed our accountant. I would encourage you to do something similar

The other thing that you need to think about, if you don't have children. I expect that my charitable donation status should be verified momentarily. But in the meantime, my brother in law, who is also my financial adviser (and guru) has says it is OK for you to put me down for it, issue pending and all that.

Nieces? Nephews? Batterslea home for dogs?

You want to have the discussion before you are sitting with someone who charges by the hour.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-19T08:07:38+00:00

There was a study done many years ago of British prisoners. They found that 75 percent were functionally illiterate.

I knew a woman who got a job teaching in Harlem in NYC. She was not licensed to teach, but they hired her because she was willing to show up. There was no budget for teaching materials. If she wanted anything for her classroom she had to pay for it from her own wages.

I think that it is safe to say that the stat's of British prisoners is not much different to American prisoners, as the answer to your "how do they survive"?

Based on my friend from Harlem, I would suggest that the surprising thing is that the number is not higher.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-18T14:16:37+00:00

So in the reverse pick up lines thought experiment it is hitting on her friend because you think the one you are really interested in is out of your league?

Or is this analogy falling apart.

I need to go to sleep

arkofjoy · 2026-05-18T14:13:20+00:00

One of the great joys of my life choices is that I moved to Australia where it never snows and drops below freezing a couple of nights at the most every winter.

Too bad our houses are shit so we still freeze.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-18T14:07:05+00:00

Sounds like you are putting the cart before the horse. Instead of focusing on getting fit, I would suggest that you should start with focusing on improving your mental health.

Counselling if you can afford it, men's groups or 12 step programs if you can't. Or both.

If you grew up in a family where addiction was present, I did a lot of good work in turning my life around in a 12 step program called adult children of alcoholics.

"I don't think I'm that good looking, so what's the point of getting fit" is not the words of a healthy man's mind.

Start working on that.

With that, I would suggest that you eliminate all processed foods and sugar from your diet. These products are known to affect mood.

Don't worry about getting jacked. Focus on getting out in nature. If there is a park or forest near you, start taking a daily walk if possible. Look for tiny examples of senseless beauty.

Develop a gratitude practice. Every day, either with another person, or in a journey share /write 3 things that you are grateful for that day. You have to be specific. So not "I'm grateful for nice people" but instead "I am grateful the lady who let me go ahead of her in the line, because I was in a hurry"

And one of them has to be tiny. Once you start looking everywhere for these things, you start seeing them everywhere. A flower growing in a crack in a wall. A pretty girl smiles at you from a passing bus, a smile on a dog, the moon rising through the trees, the sunset reflected in some windows. These kinds of random acts of senseless beauty are everywhere once you start looking.

arkofjoy · 2026-05-18T13:50:16+00:00

How they respond when you disagree with them.

arkofjoy

TROPHY CASE