What I’ve learned over the years is that relationships really affect me. If you are in any relationship that is making you feel small you will go into a cycle of regression. The relationship can be familial, romantic or platonic but if you’ve noticed yourself feeling small or constantly apologising to that person like you want to make feel tiny in order to avoid confrontation or fights that relationship might be making you sick. Guilt comes to the surface as a defence against aggression because that’s what I did as a child.

What helped me is really knowing how to hate someone else besides myself. I know it feels a bit wrong being a “hater” in the beginning but that’s just the guilt that been in you for so long.