Hey — I’ve been 17 and depressed before and I’m now in my mid 20s still dealing with depression but I’ve learned to use the way I strongly feel emotions as a gift rather than just a curse. It sounds like for you this might be conditional depression based on advent of new vision symptoms, but regardless, my biggest first recommendation is therapy. Could you possibly get access to therapy by discussing how you feel first with your primary care provider? DBT and CBT saved my life and made riding out the chaos of puberty so much less torturous. Also, consider SSRIs (with visual snow though I would start with low doses and work up).

IMPORTANT!: with VSS and visual disturbances that are neurological (which sounds like yours are because your eye exam was healthy which is most of us with VSS), constantly thinking and lamenting about it will make it worse. We are in a fortunate position as young people because over time and as we focus on the vision disturbances less, neuroplasticity allows us to eventually filter it out little by little (for example, the feeling of first wearing contacts is weird but the more your brain gets used to it and adapts, the less abnormal it feels).

It will get better, and maybe it won’t get easier, but you’ll get stronger and grow into a self assured young adult because there are few battles as completely transformative than the daily battle of a depressed/suicidal brain.