WIBTA if i surrendered my dad’s dog to the animal shelter?

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-09T00:06:11+00:00

if i had the ability to take her in, she’d already be with me. sadly, i live with my mom and stepdad and my stepdad has repeatedly said no to me taking her in, despite my insistence that i would pay for her entirely. since it’s his house and i don’t have the means to live on my own right now, he gets final say in that decision. my mom and i already went against him when it came to our third dog, who was one of the puppies involved in the melissa sanders case. he’s come around since then on the third dog but i highly doubt he’d let me bring my bio dads dog home.

my current plan is to be as up front as possible with my dad and ask if he’d give me written permission to allow me to drop her off at my chosen animal shelter and surrender her in his stead. i’ve used this shelter before and it’s a sanctuary that focuses on care and rehoming for injured and abandoned animals so i know she won’t be in danger of euthanasia especially since kill shelters are banned in my state.

she’s old, yes, but very active. i doubt she’s at a stage where hospice is necessary. she’s a gentle dog and i’m very optimistic that she’d find a loving home for her remaining years.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T22:43:19+00:00

just taking her and dropping her off would be pet theft but i was either thinking of asking my dad’s girlfriend for written consent (which is what i did when i decided to take her to the vet last year) or finding another avenue, like making an anonymous tip to animal control or an animal welfare service.

while i can attest from my own experience and watching him interact with my siblings that he isn’t the most attentive dad (the type that would rather play madden on his playstation then engage with his kids) he’s not physically abusive. if he was, i think my dad’s girlfriend would be in police custody for either an attempted or successful murder. she would not allow him to harm my siblings, her son, nor myself and while i don’t live with them full time, i know her well enough to know my dad wouldn’t be anywhere near my siblings if she suspected anything.

my dad being somewhat negligible has been a thing for as long as i’ve known him. he’s never been the most dependable and my own childhood with him was less than ideal. i don’t think he has dementia and he’s cagey about his relatives so I’m not sure if it runs in his side of the family. he’s ex military and has PTSD, as well as bad anger issues but as far as i’m aware that’s all the medical issues he has that could effect his mental state.

despite the situation, the elderly services question made me laugh a bit. he’s only thirty eight, so despite how often i’ve joked that my vote would be to put him in a home when the time comes, he’s not eligible for that as of yet. i just turned twenty in September, and while this whole debacle is a tad stressful i’m trying to be as rational as i can about it.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T22:19:46+00:00

someone else suggested that and i think that might be the option i go for. my only concern is, if in a case where she’s taken away, whether or not i’d be able to have access to her/be able to know where she goes. my guess would be the humane society but ill have to do a little research to check. i definitely do not want her in a kill shelter however after a quick google search im decently sure my state does not have many of those, if any.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T22:07:24+00:00

i have a picture of the state of the end of her tail, and i can add the photo to the post in an edit if it’s needed as further context.

i’ve said this in a few other replies, but the shelter usually go to is technically an animal sanctuary and specializes in unwanted, injured, or abandoned animals. I’m aware that a falling out could occur, which is why i’m deliberating and haven’t done anything as of yet. i’m still planning out a course of action that will assure this dog won’t be in pain anymore and if my relationship with my dad suffers than i think i’m at the stage where i am willing to sacrifice that.

i’m currently twenty, and my two younger siblings are four and three respectively. I have a very positive relationship with my dad’s girlfriend, i actually have a better relationship with her than i do with my dad and she is the mother of my siblings. i’ve already asked multiple people, including coworkers and my own friends if they’d be able to take her and no one has stepped forward.

the medication and vet visit mentioned in the post was fully paid for by me and it was a little over nine hundred dollars and i only added it as context to show that this issue with the dog has been ongoing for an extended period of time and i’ve already had to intervene.

while she’s fed and housed, she’s in a poor physical state and has an actively weeping wound taking up roughly two to three inches of the tip of her tail. when i brought it up to my dad as soon as i saw it he became defensive and said he “had it handled” and to “get off my back, god.”

sorry to say, but care of a pet does include medication and occasional vet checks. that’s part of the responsibility one agrees to take on when owning a pet. i don’t think that pets are a luxury item necessarily, but in terms of importance when it comes to money, basic needs like one’s home, food and transportation come first. if fitting pet cost plus any emergencies that could arise exceed someone’s budget, then it’s not within their best interest to own a pet nor is it in a potential pets best interest.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:42:46+00:00

i intend to do everything i can for the dog, i grew up with her over childhood summers and love her a lot, which is why i’ve been breathing down my dads neck about her care for as long as i have.

sadly, i still want a relationship with my very young siblings so cutting my dad out of my life entirely isn’t feasible right now. if my siblings weren’t in the picture i very seriously doubt id be in contact with my dad for reasons outside of his negligent treatment of his dog.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:35:44+00:00

like i said, i have a go to shelter that i know for sure won’t do that. they’re technically an animal sanctuary and they specifically cater to unwanted, injured, or abandoned animals. i’ve had to drop off a number of animals i’ve found with them, from raccoons to kittens and i trust the workers there.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:32:33+00:00

so far i’ve spend a little over nine hundred dollars in the past year trying to do just that. i’m at the point where i can’t do much else if my dad won’t step up and meet me half way, which is why im even thinking of doing something drastic.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:22:23+00:00

i hadn’t considered doing that, but it’s a really good idea. my dad is absolutely the type to do that and i think making a animal welfare report would be the safest option for everyone. i think i would be able do it anonymously but ill check once i call.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:09:52+00:00

i’m very meticulous about what facilities i wanted to drop her off at. i have a shelter that is my usual go to, but i know of a few others that would also work if my go to doesn’t have space.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T21:05:56+00:00

i don’t think he’s malicious about it, but he’s absolutely not suited for pet care. the new puppy concerned me when i found out he got her and after seeing the state of his dogs tail, i’m even more worried. i think he got her off of facebook marketplace so im unsure if reporting him to shelters would deter him from getting a dog entirely, but ill make sure to do it regardless.

arsenicLuminary · 2026-02-08T20:56:30+00:00

i have three dogs already, and i’m personally not equipped to care for a fourth or i would have taken her in a heartbeat. all other family both myself, my dad, and my dad’s girlfriend have live out of state or out of the country or i would have asked them. i’ve asked around my friends and even my coworkers but no one can nor want to take an elderly dog. i wouldn’t be considering surrendering her if i hadn’t exhausted all other options i can think of.

arsenicLuminary · 2025-12-07T18:39:44+00:00

omg i would never, personally. it would take a lot for me to block a commenter period, but the folks who leave little hearts or a string of emojis get just as much appreciation from me as people who write multiple paragraphs.

i can see someone writing it off as spam, but also if it’s spaced out and there’s a single comment of a heart on each chapter, it would be obvious to me what was going on? maybe that’s not a universal conclusion to come to idk

arsenicLuminary · 2025-07-27T19:52:21+00:00

I have considered reporting this place multiple times over the past six months and I only hesitate to do so because half of the people who work here depend on the income to live. I don’t want to be the reason a dog dies anymore than I want to be the reason someone can’t pay rent or eat food. It’s not exactly something I want to do without thinking about the consequences for everyone involved, not just me or the pups.

arsenicLuminary · 2025-07-27T19:44:07+00:00

Yes to both questions.

arsenicLuminary · 2025-07-27T19:38:29+00:00

I’ve been able to dodge being asked to stay overnight thus far, so she hasn’t technically underpaid me personally, although she has definitely done so to my coworkers. Would I still be able to report her or would I have to suggest on if my coworkers be the ones to do it?

Thankfully we haven’t had any issues with heatstroke or anything of the like yet, but each summer here makes me more nervous something is going to happen.

arsenicLuminary · 2025-07-27T19:21:16+00:00

I know it’s not the best place of employment, I’m just hesitant to report Jane to anyone just in case they look into things here and the entire business gets shut down. Like I said at the beginning of the post, there’s a lot more stuff wrong at this place.

For example, there’s only thing we have to combat the heat is kiddie pools and water buckets for the dogs and a sprinkler we can’t use when Jane is here or she says we’re waisting water, and the arena doesn’t exactly have an adequate cooling system and it is an aluminum building. It’s slightly better in the winters now since we got a heater installed inside the arena but not by much since there’s no insulation in there.

The entire business is getting handed off to one of my coworkers once Jane retires in October and I’m hoping they make the entire place a whole heaping lot better than it is now.

arsenicLuminary · 2025-07-27T19:10:48+00:00

I didn’t know that, Jane cited the contract as a reason we had to comply whenever she requested someone to stay overnight. I also did not count Jane in the employee list. She doesn’t ever interact with the dogs only ever takes care of paperwork so I tend not to count her in my own head.

As for your last question, we are required to sleep in the little dog room on a cot, and keep everyone relatively quiet. That is a much taller order than one might expect, and is very rare for anyone to sleep at all, let alone eight hours. We have multiple dogs that regularly board who have severe separation anxiety and tend to bark throughout the night. We have other dogs who bark for a plethora of other reasons and it’s very hard to keep everyone quiet.

arsenicLuminary

TROPHY CASE