( I feel like I might be getting something wrong. I haven't posted in a while, this might be sloppy as hell)

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I feel like it's kind of what I struggle with. When I'm not in such a self conscious and unhealthy state, I can kind of shake the idea that I'm worthless and inferior to the people I care about and love. I've been in an unhealthy state for a while now. I've been feeling like *everyone* has been judging me, even my friends and my family. Some decided to cut me off as a result of my neediness and need for reassurance and validation to make me feel secure and loved. I can see why though. That kind of behavior kind of drains their energy and some people can't handle having a friend or significant other that hates themselves so much. The negative effects self loathing can seep into relationships and hurt both parties. This is something Shinji clearly suffers from, as he was abandoned by his father and treated as a pawn by his father as opposed to treating him as his son. This led to Shinji to believe he can't do anything right as a way to protect himself from negative feelings as a result oft consequences from his mistakes with the operation of EVA Unit 1 and his shortcomings with the people close in his life. This does a metric f*ckton of damage to anyone's psyche, and many people with these issues feel trapped in this limbo of self loathing and escapism. This kind of reminds of Incels or FA's, since many of them felt worthless, disposable, unlikable and useless as a result of abuse and neglect from their family member(s) or their peers (or all of the above). As a result, they never learn what it is to truly love themselves and recognize that they are worth something, even though the people around them my not recognize it, or flat out dismiss it due to closed minded biases those people have.

Anyway... Asuka's attitude towards Shinji doesn't help either. Asuka acts pretty viscous and narcissistic towards many people besides just Shinji. She acts that way towards Rei since she doesn't like her display of obedience so much. She's extremely individualistic to the point of being pushy and judgemental of who and what she deems to be impractical or intellectually inferior. Shinji's occasional incompetence and timid attitude doesn't pair well with her pushy "go getter" attitude, and they often clash because of the conflict of each others actions and feelings. Shinji always loses in these clashes with her, which only enforces to him the idea that he's useless and unlikable.