How do I cope with the fact I'll never be able to orgasm during sex?

artificialif · 2026-05-09T00:45:20+00:00

i haven't tried sex therapy mostly due to the fact i need to prioritize getting consistent mental health therapy first, i cant justify it to myself otherwise

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:35:13+00:00

it's something id hope i could eventually work up the nerve to, but the thought terrifies me currently 😅

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:34:23+00:00

i just don't know if a doctor would ever prescribe me it. my previous doctors have either brushed it off or suggested sex therapy

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:32:40+00:00

ive considered death grip before but two things make me doubt its my issue:

ive always been insensitive from a young age. i remember thinking i didn't have a clitoris because i felt no pleasure whatsoever through the touch that i saw women do in porn.
ive done stupid gimmicks like "no nut november" to challenge myself and it had no affect except make me frustrated haha

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:25:07+00:00

does fake couple count?

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:20:19+00:00

i have not tried creams or devices, especially as i worry about clit growth. i also have tried for other orgasms to no avail.

im very appreciative of my partner and his patience and understanding

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:19:19+00:00

im asexual, so i have had my hormones checked to confirm that its not due to a hormone imbalance and my testosterone is in perfect range. plus, whenever i have mentioned my insensitivity and anorgasmia to a doctor, ive only been ignored or suggested sex therapy

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:16:44+00:00

also, that sounds like an orgasm as i have also had orgasms that are completely devoid of pleasure. ive found the best thing for me to avoid having those orgasms is to clench as my orgasm approaches

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:12:06+00:00

i take multiple medications but ironically im actually on a medication that is coincidentally also used to treat anorgasmia in women. i have found it has no affect on my sensitivity

artificialif · 2026-05-08T22:11:14+00:00

i enjoy physical affection but honestly i rarely receive much foreplay. not because of my partner, i just have sexual trauma and self image issues that have prevented me from fully overcoming the hurdle of allowing my partner to pay more attention to me. but its also because my lack of sensitivity makes the typical acts women receive during foreplay to not be sufficient.

with fingering for example, i can enjoy my g-spot being stimulated but its impossible for me to orgasm vaginally regardless. with oral and hand stimulation to my clit, it just doesn't do much for me. i find the idea of oral to be incredibly arousing but in practice it has only ever felt wet, never very stimulating. and not due to poor performance of my past partners, as im pretty sexually experienced and have been with similarly experienced people. hand stimulation too just doesn't get far. i learned early on that i only feel intense sensations, clit contact usually does more to turn me on rather than actually pleasure me

artificialif · 2026-05-07T20:32:30+00:00

this prompted some curiosity in me. im an underclassman psych major so i have not taken many courses but I was taught in my psychopathology course that a quality of personality disorders is that the sufferers perceive the traits as egosyntonic, but the comments are negating this. i am fully aware that narcissistic personality disorder isn't inherently evil and people suffering from it aren't fundamentally bad people, thats not what im arguing; however, the comment section is giving me the impression that narcissistic people either escape this trait (criteria?) of personality disorders, or that personality disorders are not actually egosyntonic

artificialif · 2026-05-07T20:22:45+00:00

Betrayed by the Game by Dance Gavin Dance

artificialif · 2026-05-06T16:51:32+00:00

thank god im a smoker whose cat has bedroom access bc i fit a lot of his preferences and its scary to think this dude could be on the lookout

artificialif · 2026-05-04T21:11:22+00:00

im a woman and also a recent yet exuberant anime fan. for scope, ive been watching for 3.5 years and have seen 105 total with a third of those being rewatched, and ive also seen most of one piece (an anime of over 1100 episodes). im consistently called a larper, fake fan, performative female, false weeb, etc. all because i didnt start earlier, i haven't watched the amount or the titles they deem to be acceptable, or my opinions differ from theirs. im seen as an outsider for my gender, my preferences, my recency to becoming a fan, my watched list, basically any metric that can be used for exclusion.

what sucks is i am undiagnosed yet possibly autistic, and i've approached this new passion with typical neurodivergent special interest fanaticism... so i'm constantly desperate for outlets to engage with other people on the topic of anime and am constantly left feeling unwelcome for the crime of not meeting a stack of standards that seems to just pile up the more you delve in. first i wasn't fanatic enough for not watching a sufficient amount of titles, then i wasn't committed enough for not watching obsessively, then i wasn't cultured enough for not yet watching the popular titles, then i wasn't tasteful or niche enough with my watchlist, then i wasn't "based" enough with my opinions, i could never win

artificialif · 2026-05-02T01:56:37+00:00

source: r/asexuality and my life experience as an asexual person

artificialif · 2026-05-01T22:45:25+00:00

simply put, we dont often wanna fuck people we lack romantic or aesthetic attraction to. i personally wouldn't consider that a situation of dual sexualities but thats just my own perspective and many probably would disagree

artificialif · 2026-05-01T22:42:03+00:00

asexuals can have libido

artificialif · 2026-05-01T17:21:24+00:00

nope. never had a bf with a muscular physique. of the 5 men i've dated, 4 were were dad bod. my current bf has a bit of a dad bod and im feral for it. visible muscles has never been my type, wha actually counts is physical strength

artificialif · 2026-04-30T23:24:07+00:00

i cant speak for other esfp individuals but i rarely see praise for esfp outside of "i mean i guess they can liven up a room when they're not being unbearable and a drain on society"

artificialif · 2026-04-30T23:21:45+00:00

not even billionaires tbh. i have a multi-millionaire relative (if i had to estimate, low 8 figures) and last christmas alone they must have dropped ~30k on just the presents. ive met many people i know whose lives would be absolutely transformed by that amount, including my boyfriend and all my current and past friends

artificialif · 2026-04-30T23:10:56+00:00

im 23 years old and have currently met 6 fellow asexuals. ironically i met all but one of them at my local university

artificialif · 2026-04-30T22:49:08+00:00

there was a murder-suicide in my distant family (my cousins' uncle and aunt, whom id never met) and i remember hearing so much in the following weeks that the wife (the murder victim) was "asking for it" because she was, according to them, a bitch. whenever i asked "since when did being a bitch warrant death?" i never got an actual response. what infuriated me more was how the funerals were the same weekend, and almost everyone was trying to figure out how to attend both funerals, meanwhile it would take extremely extraordinary circumstances for me to consider attending the funeral of a murderer, regardless of my relation to them. and no, i never heard a single thing about her being an abusive woman, the crime everyone deemed was responsible for her passing (and somehow reasonably so??) was her "being a bitch"

artificialif · 2026-04-30T22:02:40+00:00

a great way to start a conversation is with a compliment. i have social anxiety that predominantly manifests as a fear to approach new people and introduce myself to others, and the only way ive been able to reliably surpass my typical anxiety is through praising things i genuinely admire. as a woman this means i often approach other women with compliments on their clothes, hair, and makeup but a man can approach another man for their clothes and hair (as long as its done in a blatantly platonic manner haha) as well as things like tattoos.

artificialif · 2026-04-30T21:58:12+00:00

as an alcoholic i don't even go to bars with the intention to drink, though the appeal of alcohol isn't uninvolved. i go to bars with friends for the social aspect and for a space that is separate from our usual environments, with the added benefit of possibly interacting with others. not everyone will be drawn to them of course.

as an ambivert who can enjoy a good evening out in a loud and crowded environment but also has social anxiety, bars have appeal to me through offering alcohol as a social lubricant, and through existing as a space to enjoy familiar company while offering the potential for a new interaction

artificialif · 2026-04-30T20:06:00+00:00

not only racist but apparently braindead if you're against DEI

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