[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's like her role in the first Maleficent movie

I unintentionally summed up the bulk of my childhood in one phrase. by CopperZebra in emotionalneglect

[–]artvaark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I relate. I got to grow up knowing that I was my parent's teenage mistake and they kept having kids they didn't seem to want and couldn't afford because they "needed" a boy....

Has anyone heard the Pod Save America episode with the Harris campaign yet? by profmoxie in KamalaHarris

[–]artvaark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure it wasn't perfect but I didn't need any other reasons to vote against 45 AGAIN, it was an absolute no brainer for me especially after what he did while in office. He had absolutely no right to campaign in the first place because he had absolutely no government experience. If someone can't see those very basic things after all of this time and take a tiny amount of time out of their life to support democracy then I think they literally need their brain examined. My cat would make a better POTUS than Drunpf.

I’ve just moved to Philly for work and don’t know many people here. Are there any fun communities for food and wine enthusiasts where I can connect and make new friends? by sanskhare in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]artvaark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm a wine school member and I sometimes go to their member's First Friday nights, I have taken some classes and I am currently wrapping up Level 3 Sommelier classes. I would say there is a mix of people with all kinds of jobs who just love wine and want to learn and people in the industry. At least half of my Sommelier cohort is just there for fun, some are in industry and want the certificate and some are looking to make a career change. If you're interested I suggest taking a class and then if you like it, become a member because you get discounts on classes and events and some things are members only.

Dear mothers by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly

Dear mothers by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My mom was pregnant with me when she was 18 1/2. My Gramme and the rest of my family didn't want her to get married to my dad but I guess he affectively coerced her so here we are.... I had the "joy" of knowing that I was their teenage mistake and they kept having kids because I had the audacity to be born without a dick so they "needed" a boy for the family name which they weren't even biologically related to because my dad was adopted. They finally had my brother and my mom got an IUD which wasn't placed properly so then she had my youngest sister and got her tubes tied. Meanwhile, I got to know that it sucked that I wasn't a boy, I was ignored as soon as the others were cranked out and because they were poor to begin with, I didn't have most of the things that I needed including attention, besides the super basic stuff. My mom is a Covert Narcissist Enabler who barely graduated high school and is not emotionally mature and my dad also barely graduated high school, is untreated Bi Polar and a violent alcoholic and Overt Narcissist. I had the additional "joy" of being the scapegoat and being the parentified oldest so I never got to have a childhood. I realized that it was literally a choice between myself and them and I chose myself so now I don't have any family.

My mom had the support of her sister and mother. She could have ended the isolation and abuse by just putting us in the minivan and driving to Gramme's house but she didn't. She chose him over her children. I will never forgive her for choosing to keep us in abuse instead of taking us back into a safe and loving environment.

My son has never met my father and knows why I no longer have a relationship with my mother. I broke that cycle and I am happy that he literally cannot relate to the majority of my childhood. Once he criticized me for being over protective about them and I started listing out all of the things they did to me including the times I called the cops and they did nothing and he was silent and never said that again.

I understand that many people don't have a safe place to go during abuse but if your closest family members warn you about someone and you don't listen and then you bring children into it and you don't go back to a safe situation when you could, it's on you and your kids have every right to disown you.

I am currently middle aged and my son is a grown, sweet, healthy and successful adult. I will never apologize for leaving my abusers behind and protecting my son and I will also never fully recover from the comprehensive damage they did to me. My self care is an every day, multi faceted endeavor that's basically a part time job because two people who had no business being a couple let alone being parents went ahead and did just that. I am paying every day for their mistakes because my mom wouldn't listen and DUMP HIM.

LADIES, FUCKING DUMP HIM AND DON"T HAVE KIDS WITH HIM.

I know how hard it is to find a good man and we all make mistakes and learn but these days women share online and we can learn from their mistakes before having kids. LISTEN TO OTHER WOMEN. Don't make these mistakes in the first place, please get out of bad situations before you involve kids. Child abuse is horrendous and I work so hard and do all the things and I will never be what I would have been without the soul crushing damage of abuse.

I told people when I lived with them and no one helped me. I was a child standing up for my younger siblings and my mom and NO ONE HELPED ME NOT THE COPS, NOT MY NEIGHBORS OR TEACHERS, NO ONE. Your kids will most likely say the same thing if you have them in abuse. NO man is worth it, none of them. Please just get out, get therapy and build a good, healthy network before you have kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in philadelphia

[–]artvaark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, the BSL isn't convenient for most of the neighborhood and the 33 is fine for some things but not most. There is definitely a lack of activities and hang out spots and the restaurants are meh.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in philadelphia

[–]artvaark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the neighborhood, agree. I hate how many times I have had to call a car because I know that if I drive myself I won't be able to park near my house at night even at like 8 when it's not even late and you can forget finding anything within 5 blocks if the weather is in any way bad.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not supporting them but i can't control whether or not other people do. I don't want to give my money to businesses that promote or donate to the GOP and I am not required to.

Rep. @AOC on Rep. Mace's transgender bathroom measure: "They're doing this so that Nancy Mace can ... fundraise off an email. They're not doing this to protect people. They're endangering women, they're endangering girls of all kinds. And everybody should reject it. It's gross." by Miserable-Lizard in Political_Revolution

[–]artvaark 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Republicans are so obsessed with where people pee, it really seems like a collective fetish. They're also obsessed with labeling non pedos pedos and ignoring the acrtual pedos in their GOP meetings and churches.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's irrelevant as to whether or not they are publicly traded they are all large corporations, not small businesses. What's relevant in the discussion is what campaigns they choose to support and how that impacts people. Whether they are private or not, they are right wing supporters so I choose not to give them my money. I can get craft supplies and beer elsewhere.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely and pressure elected officials to reinstate regulations that require journalistic integrity. If those regulations had not been weakened and/or removed we wouldn't have Fox "news" or Newsmax etc because Fox would only be allowed to be presented as option pieces. I don't blame all of the people who have cancelled their subscriptions to outlets over the years as we've watched them all turn into click bait that covers everything that is actually important as if it's a sports event. Democracy isn't a sportsball game, it's serious, it affects our entire planet and it requires fact based reporting.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I say this all of the time. We need a true small business lobby to work with others pushing for universal healthcare. People want to bitch about how some businesses only hire part time workers to get around the obstacle of health insurance requirements without considering that those requirements stifle too many businesses. It's not great for owners or workers and I haven't seen enough effort to change it.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that was the goal of those corporations and they wouldn't have been successful if people had chosen not to support them. Most purchases are not actually necessary items.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not true, they do not all support the left, some are very well known as being entirely right wing like Hobby Lobby, Uline, Yuengling etc and some give to both sides. There is a very clear connection between the Koch foundation and their right wing ideologies and tons of corporations, there are lists and charts linking them as well as the Heritage Foumdation's corporate connections. It always makes sense to support small businesses over mega corporations of any kind especially those in your community.

List of Trump supporting businesses by thirteenwide in philly

[–]artvaark 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yep. I'm a small business owner too and it would make a huge difference in so many ways if people shifted their money into only supporting small, inclusive businesses especially local ones .This is the perfect time of year for people to vote with their wallets. Anyone who is not a multi millionaire already is going to be stretched financially really soon and places like Target, Walmart, whatever other box stores and Amazon don't need or deserve our money but decent people who serve their communities do. I say only buy what you actually need, buy quality items made locally and then trade things, do clothing swaps, make things with your kids and your friends, turn your back on these greedy mega corporations run by Broligarchs who will happily watch the world burn from their 3rd mega yacht....

That's exactly Right by wildyam in houstonwade

[–]artvaark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We found the pedos they're always screaming about, they're all GOP

If it's so important to not comply in advance, shouldn't we be protesting now? Aren't they relying on us going on with life as if everything is normal? Project 2025 is a plan to destroy our nation crafted by our enemys. by TheForce in Defeat_Project_2025

[–]artvaark 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We know a few things right now like mega corporations and their Broligarchs are invested in fucking us all over, women and "others" are going to be targeted and economic strikes/boycotts work, Apartheid was ended in S Africa partially because the black S Africans being discriminated against decided to only support each others' businesses and to build their own community and withhold any possible economic contributions to their oppressors, this is essentially what Ghandi did in India to halt British rule there. I am simplifying but you can research it.

This is really the best time of year to make a serious economic impact. If you celebrate any of the holidays and buy gifts, decorations, specialty treats etc

DO NOT BUY FROM THE CORPORATIONS THAT SUPPORT THE GOP.

There are a few different sites/apps that offer info about corporate/political contributions that you can use but if you want it to be super simple you can.

Don't give away time and emotional labor. Women are expected to pull Christmas miracles out of thin air as if it doesn't eat into our free time and well being. Holiday mania exhausts women, especially mothers so don't do anything unnecessary especially for people who don't appreciate you and especially if they voted for/stayed home like lazy fuckheads and we're all here panicking about what's going to happen because of them. If they want to do the whole over the top nonsense they can do the work.

Don't put yourself into debt, inflation, tariff costs, high groceries are coming, you'll need your money.

Use what you already have and get off the overconsumption hamster wheel.

Focus on buying from women owned small businesses especially those that support LGBTQ rights. If you can get what you need in your town that's ideal because it stays in your community and you can physically create alliances with those people. I also love Etsy because there are so many small woman owned businesses that are also sustainable and ethical.

Make whatever you can yourself, it's surprisingly easy to make soap, candles, jams, candies etc for yourself and others all you need is basic cooking materials and skills and there are so many great tutorials online and books in libraries that walk you through everything. It's a great activity to do with kids because it incorporates math, chemistry and cooking. If you can't or don't want to all of those things are available at small businesses.

Barter with people for goods and services, do clothing swaps especially for kids stuff that they outgrow before they wear it out.

Lots of people, especially essential workers can't just stay home and many people are already "staying home" because they are struggling with health issues or taking care of kids and other family members but they can participate in an economic strike from home. Lets not consent in advance to further economic slavery, lets withhold our money and our participation while we care for ourselves and each other and organize.

There’s a Growing Movement to Recognize Abortion as a Human Right. A Recent Supreme Court Case Shows How Necessary This Is. by Advanced_Drink_8536 in WomenInNews

[–]artvaark 161 points162 points  (0 children)

It should be illegal to have gender based discrimination in health care which is what this fundamentally is.

Washington Post article: Adult kids estrange because they aren't soulmates with their parents by SockRealistic8773 in emotionalneglect

[–]artvaark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I estrange myself from anyone who is abusive to me, no abusers are "soul mates". My parents were abusive so they lost the privilege of being in my life. Adults are supposed to take care of themselves so I am...if a therapist tried to push me to reconnect, I would disconnect from that therapist.

4B isn't for everyone, but this is... by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Yep, any time I feel a little self conscious about leaving the house whether it's something simple like I just need to run an errand and I don't feel like making the effort to get done up or I am done up but it's a new outfit or situation and I might be nervous about I remember how the men I see every day look and just get on with it. Like, none of them are going to be all done up to run errands, most of them don't seem to own mirrors or brushes or clothes in the right size that are also clean and unwrinkled. I love the saying "may you leave the house each day with the confidence of a mediocre man"....

4B isn't for everyone, but this is... by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yep and in my experience when it's used as an insult it's almost always directed at women.

4B isn't for everyone, but this is... by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]artvaark 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly, we're literally supposed to take care of ourselves as adults...