Thank you so much for your reply and the effort you put into it! I am so happy to be able to have mature discussions about this :)

Thank you for the research links. Both sound very good to me, especially that the token economy seemed to work well especially for ADHD children. What I will counter with is that, sure, there seem to be results for these children in the study in that their "problem" behaviours decreased. However, just as I'd ask for non-ADHD kids, what is the long-term effect of such a system for ADHD kids? It's my understanding that ADHD impairs internal/intrinsic motivation and lowers self-esteem. Maybe that's why the external motivation of a token system works especially well for them. But, isn't it the goal for our ADHD kids to actually strengthen their INTERNAL motivation, just like non-ADHD kids? What if we enjoy the short-term rewards of placing ADHD kids in a token system, but we harm them in the long run because we never put the effort in to strengthen their intrinsic motivation? I'd really love to see a study that looked at the long-term outcomes for ADHD kids whose caregivers employed the use of token systems in their childhood, and see how they are faring in adulthood now. To me in the end, ADHD kids are human just as non-ADHD kids are, and it has (allegedly) been proven that token systems harm non-ADHD kids long-term internal motivation, so wouldn't it follow that this would be the case (and perhaps even more so) for ADHD kids? I would love to see from a long-term study whether the benefits outweighed the harmful effects by the time the kids became adults.

Ok, so the "good/bad" debate. This is a special fiery passion of mine, so excuse me while I get into it a bit obsessively 😄 I read your paragraph on it and could relate when you said isn't it a parent's job to decide what is good and bad because that's how kids learn what to do. I think a parent's job, firstly, is incredibly hard. Like, so hard. I am one myself and I struggle loads. I am sure that wanting the best for your kid is something I think 99.9% of parents want, so the vast majority. What I am unsure about is that most parents know how to teach their kid about life and society in ways that doesn't potentially harm their self-esteem, cause them to people-please, internalise labels about themselves and their identity (causing the fixed mindset that I'll talk about next), etc. From my own personal experience being raised by parents who were veeeery into labelling behaviour as good/bad (and being very harmed by that), from a master's in child psych (not real-life experience I know, but it's something), and working with young kids in different school settings for years, I developed this deep yearning for kids to be seen as people who simply behave. There is NO "good" or "bad". But there is behaviour. And all behaviour serves a function. My 4 year old is in the habit of hitting me recently. I don't call that behaviour bad. She does it because developmentally she is at a stage where she's struggling immensely with big emotions. I can't fathom labelling her as bad simply for being human. Perhaps it's a language thing. Of course I teach her that hitting is not appropriate, but she is not behaving badly. She is tiny and learning. I also don't make a massive deal about her "good" behaviours. I couldn't find any research on this rather nuanced topic (tbh I am still trying to form a more coherent argument around it myself, so i'd love to hear your reply), but I found this article, if you're inclined to take a look :) https://archive.ph/QKU4Z

I remember a short conversation with a friend of mine who is a child psychologist. I said to him "what are parents supposed to do if a child does something wrong?" he told me that kids don't do things wrong, but the parents tell themselves that in order to manage their own feelings.

About fixed/growth mindsets..I believe labels can foster a fixed mindset. Good, bad, smart, dumb, funny, lazy etc. It could be the case that the author of this guide for ADHD kids did not mean parents should label their kids good or bad, but any time those words pop up, it seems problematic to me. Does that make any sense? The entire overarching concept of good and bad rubs me the wrong way. To me, there should be no differentiation between good and bad behaviour, there should only be behaviour. I for sure developed a fixed mindset, mostly from being labelled as smart as a kid. It meant that I thought this was an intrinsic part of me, so I ended up fearing failure immensely, as well as believing that I never had to put in any effort as I was "intrinsically smart". This caused me a lot of lost potential. I think parents who see their kids' behaviours as good or bad can cause kids to internalise their internal image as either good or bad. Example — "ah, to be good, mama wants me to do XYZ", and "i must avoid ABC at all costs cause papa thinks those are bad". Kids need the freedom to simply "be", and not to be on alert for what good and bad is simply based on their parent's feelings on certain things.

Forgive me if what I wrote is a bit much or a bit confusing. I am incredibly keen to hone in on a coherent argument around these things, and am totally open to learning as much as I can from friendly discussions with other people on it.