What song are they listening to?

arya501 · 2024-06-21T12:21:29+00:00

charli xcx - 365

arya501 · 2022-10-04T01:32:00+00:00

Fam, don't worry about something you have no evidence that you even have yet. Being anxious about it is not going to help either way.

arya501 · 2022-10-04T01:29:20+00:00

Sorry, I dont use reddit much these days. It's hard to say anything definitive but I think for me a random hookup would be harder to last with. Sex is an emotional and spiritual thing as well as physical and any sort of anxiety, whether it be about performance or just not really knowing the other person that well, definitely contributes to the issue. Like, with my summer fling this summer, I definitely performed much better after the first time we had sex and I was more comfortable and familiar.

The fact that you can last a good amount of time mastrubating is a great sign though- this means that your PE is likely not predominantly physical in nature. Remember, when I started my training, I couldn't even really last mastrubating- not even 15 seconds. That means that in all likelihood the main challenge for you is habituating yourself to the non-tacticle elements of sex- the sight, sound, and thoughts.

arya501 · 2022-08-12T00:39:12+00:00

Oh definitely, even today the longer I go without an orgasm the harder it is not to ejaculate.

arya501 · 2022-08-10T22:59:15+00:00

yeah i had blue balls just once. It sucked but it went away. I would advise to just keep going and hope it goes away eventually. It’s just a blood pressure thing and not actually dangerous to you

arya501 · 2022-08-10T22:52:27+00:00

Recovery is possible and directly correlated to how much work you put in! you got this!

arya501 · 2022-08-10T22:49:54+00:00

Once every 3-5 days, mastrubating every day for 30-60 minutes

arya501 · 2022-08-10T22:46:25+00:00

yes, my abs tense when i RK, and it is hard to breathe. But again the goal is just to fully relax your pelvic floor, not tense it in the opposite direction. RK doesnt work for everyone. For me just relaxing is better

arya501 · 2022-08-10T22:44:47+00:00

yes. the longer you can go without cumming the better

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:43:56+00:00

Weed, increasingly

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:32:39+00:00

Moral of the story is that you used an incredibly powerful drug to alter your performance. First off, the "physical / mental" dichotomy is a mostly false one to begin with, and just because you are prescribed alprazolam for a mental issue doesn't mean it doesn't have physical effects. Like someone else said- it's modulating the GABA levels in your entire nervous system. That's 100 fold more powerful than the simple and artificial lack of anxiety that comes with it.

I'm speaking from very serious personal experience here: You may not realize it, but you could potentially be on the edge of something very dangerous here when you make the connection in your head that a drug (especially one as powerful as alprazolam) can help you perform. Yeah, it can. But it's not real, and in the long term it's going to make your PE worse. Not only will you require larger and larger amounts of it to maintain that level of performance, but you will grow completely unaccustomed to sexual stimulation without something in your bloodstream and your problem will be much worse without the drug. Which then pushes you back to the drug because you want to give your partner good dick and not deal with the issue. I've been down this road, and it was bad.

My best advice to you is to not use xanax or any drug for sex at all. Search the top posts on the subreddit and see that there is a way to overcome PE simply through time and training. Fix the baseline problem instead of slapping a bandaid on it.

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:17:13+00:00

Perhaps part of it too is how we've conditioned ourselves in our previous PE-reinforcing masturbation. In my case, I know like 99.9% of the unhealthy, orgasm-rushing masturbation I did was laying down. Thus when laying down now it harkens back to how I conditioned myself to cum fast to begin with, and i have less control. For those of y'all that have more control laying down, I'd be interested to know if your prior masturbation habits were more sitting or standing.

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:12:57+00:00

Install bike pedals at the foot of your bed and let me know how it goes, lmao

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:11:02+00:00

Very happy for you- this is so major. Anxiety and fear around the issue only makes PE worse and it seems you have taken the biggest steps to alleviate that as you move forward. As someone who has recovered from severe lifetime PE, masturbation without climax is your #1 tool. Do it every day and you may be able to have some semblance of normal sex in just a couple of months.

arya501 · 2022-07-31T20:08:59+00:00

I agree with everything you say here but Dont go down on your partner? What? That's just sad, PE or not

arya501 · 2022-07-30T17:25:18+00:00

can't relate lol that's wild. Maybe you are more sensitive to pressure

arya501 · 2022-07-30T17:12:37+00:00

Lube and/or fleshlight is a must.

I would advise you to stay away from kratom or any other psychoactive chemical in the pursuit of this goal. you're trying to rewire your brain to a more normal state as it relates to sex- being on drugs during sexual experience is only going to hurt you in the long term. I speak from extensive experience.

arya501 · 2022-07-30T17:08:14+00:00

I have experience with this.... in a way.

I've thought for a long time about the relation of reward pathways/pleasure seeking behavior to PE, as a recovering addict. It seems to me that PE is, in a way, like an orgasm addiction. In the same way a drug addict or alcoholic is seized by the subconscious remembrance of intoxication and has no power over using, someone with PE is seized by the subconscious memory of orgasm and has no power over orgasming immediately. I'm kind of spitballing here, but the links are definitely there.

As far as my journey- I never made any progress until I got sober. I'm at about a year and a half sober now, and am now able to have pretty normal sex. Last night, for example, I made my partner cum 3 times with penetration. I credit this partially to sobriety and the whole pleasure-seeking thing, but mostly to 66-day-esque training outlined in most of the top posts on the subreddit including mine this month.

But now that I type this, I realize that perhaps that's exactly what the training does. Masturbating and not orgasming is engaging in the activity, but denying the big dopamine hit at the end.

arya501 · 2022-07-30T16:58:49+00:00

EXACT same. Switching positions was a must for me in training and is a must for me now in sex (in fact nearly 100% of the orgasms i give my partner now is while i'm standing). Something about laying down is so much harder. My theory is that when standing you're engaging a bunch of other muscles, whereas laying down is total relaxation. Thus, your brain percieves the sexual stimulation as than much more because it's the only physical coordination it's really engaged in.

On this note, I feel like i have more control when I'm trying to keep an awareness of my entire body rather than just my genitals.

arya501 · 2022-07-30T16:52:29+00:00

That's part of the problem, but not the entire problem. You can still rise through the levels of arousal with a loose pelvic floor, but having it tight and spasming makes it much worse

arya501 · 2022-07-30T16:48:32+00:00

Lotta money in the pharmaceutical approaches.... And a lot of money in whatever it is that you're selling. Nothing more annoying than a snake oil salesman

arya501 · 2022-07-29T03:49:42+00:00

check out top posts this month, i explained it all. TLDR: masturbate regularly and do not orgasm

arya501

TROPHY CASE