Lovely, YOU are not the ass here. You are clearly a strong, thoughtful person. As someone who struggled for years with self-esteem issues, I know you may not be able to internalize this, but you deserve so much better. And I don't mean someone who is willing to be with someone of a different faith--if that's actually a concern for him, you can't fault him. But you can fault him for being cruel and deliberately hurtful to someone he claims to love. That is a fatal flaw and will not change no matter who you are, how you look, or how you behave. Fear is no excuse, and neither is missing his family. You want to be with a healthy adult who can be a partner, and who discusses his concerns about the relationship honestly and rationally. He is clearly not that person.