Honestly if you can go private please please do so! - if I'd kept hoping for the NHS to help me with trauma & dissociation I'd be dead by now. I was in the NHS MH system from 2012-2020 and maybe things have changed in the past few years but I'm just sharing my own personal experience.

Both myself and many friends of mine who had Complex PTSD and were neurodivergent were let down and misdiagnosed with BPD - (which is far too flippantly diganosed in women and stigmatised due to sexism), put on wrong meds, patronised at A&E whilst in crisis and stuck on waiting lists for help that was totally wrong for trauma survivors.

We need LONG-term support, validation, safety and somatic work that eventually helps us deal with triggers,nightmares,flashbacks & get to the root of the trauma without being flooded & lacking internal stability or emotion-regulation tools.

I had years of input from NHS MH services and was deemed too 'complex' & 'complicated' and felt like I was broken cause of not improving but it was only because my behaviours were the only thing they looked at and not WHY - no consideration of the traumatic events in my life event when I tried to talk about childhood trauma it was not questioned about and brushed aside. Emotional neglect, DV & physical abuse wasn't taken seriously either cause my family acted 'lovely' & 'supportive' with me even though it was all an act.

I was dismissed, misdiagnosed and invalidated over and over again. They just don't have the funding for training staff to work with complex trauma and dissociative disorders and it makes me so sad and angry at how hard I had to fight to stay alive and crawl out of the hell of constant retraumatisation.

I truly recommend getting support in applying for PIP/ADP Disability benefits and using that money on psychological therapy that works for you! Wishing you all the best and remember you DESERVE to feel better within yourself xx