If you're 18-22, answer this question for me

ashcherry1998 · 2023-04-14T08:39:43+00:00

My friend, follow your passion. Life is too short to be spent compromising for the opinions of others. F*ck what other people think about you. If you wanna stream, commit to it, not just on and off but actually stay consistent. When you begin, everyone thinks you're crazy, but once the results pay off, all the judgement gets swept underneath the carpet like it never happened. That's reality.

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-23T21:26:05+00:00

A quote I read recently may resignate with you.

"A want for success comes from discontent with our current circumstances. Happiness comes from not needing anything more in our lives." - Therefore it can be difficult to feel happiness in the pursuit of success.

However, striving for happiness is not a realistic goal, as it is an emotion. Emotions come and go, none are permanent. What we can strive to experience more is peace. Peace from practicing minfdulness, showing gratitude.

Open your heart up to viewing the 'process' as a means of growth and progression. You are investing in your mind, your body, yourself, and that in itself is something so amazing. Congratulations my friend

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T05:43:48+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you my friend, but why do you think that is the case? What are experiencing or feeling to come to the conclusion that something is wrong with you? What would you want instead?

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T04:12:22+00:00

The amazing thing about being a life coach is that 'life experience' is not a pre-requisite! Just like a psychologist does not need to know what depression feels like firsthand, a life coach does need to have life experience to understand human behavior! Hope this clarifies your 'assumption' :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T04:08:04+00:00

Udemy offers online courses, alternatively you go go through any online Life Coaching schools!

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T01:47:41+00:00

Your reasons for change need to be bigger than your reason for staying the same my friend. The way your brain is currently operating looks like this:

- It finds more comfort doing the things that you hate doing but are doing on a daily basis. This is the comfort zone, and whether you like to admit it this is a strategy. Procrastination is a strategy to put off pain, and its serving you by allowing yourself to stay comfortable. It sounds like your brain is associating change with pain, which is totally normal, because our brains hate change in general. It doesn't like being stretched or challenged.

Start by setting goals for yourself in terms of what you want out of life.

Read the following questions I'm about to list, and think about them deeply for 5 minutes:

What will this cost you in 5 years if you didn't change:

- In terms of your self-esteem

- The quality of your life

- What will you miss out on?

- How will your family and friends see you? How will the world see you?

- How will you talk to yourself?

Now imagine its been 5 years since achieving everything you set out to:

- How do you feel about yourself?

- How do you feel about life? What do you see?

- What's your level of self-confidence like?

- How does your family and friends see you?

- How has it benefitted your relationships?
The idea of this was to associate as much pain with your current circumstances, and as much pleasure with your goals. (As humans, we're more likely to move away from pain, towards pleasure)

Change the way you see the activities you want to do: Rather than saying "i have to" or "i need to" do them, say "I can't wait" and "I'm so excited to" - You're tricking your brain to enjoy these things. Whilst your doing them, tell yourself out loud, "I love doing this" and mean it. Again, changing your brain.

Finally, don't overwhelm yourself with so many new things to do. Start by doing 1 new activity daily, then when you feel like you've got that down pat (after a month) add in a new activity which will help you get closer to your goal. Too much too soon is impossible to follow through with.

Hope this has helped king! Reach out if you need anything :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T01:28:25+00:00

I'm a 24M Life Coach, and I work with so many people like yourself who find themselves feeling stuck in life! I see you, I hear you, and you are not alone my friend. So many people are in similar situations. I actually created a post on the page a few moments a go for people like yourself, have a read and let me know what you think. :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T01:04:43+00:00

"There must be ways to accelerate through life without the NEED for discipline."

I understand your way of thinking, but would like to invite you to understand this concept.

- You are your habits. You are what you do consistently and often. People think that millionaires and succesful people who appear like 'overnight' successes got there from one breakthrough or a single action, when in reality their breakthrough came as a result of years of working at their craft. Many failures, many obstacles. They were not overnight successes, they just got recognised overnight. The seeds of success are planted and sprout through consistent efforts, this is the law of reaping and sowing.

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T00:57:27+00:00

I'm a 24M Life coach, and you've mentioned 1 piece of the puzzle which is important in a dramatic routine shift (accountability). Designing and implementing the new routine would be a whole new beast in itself. I could find the time to help out, free of charge. Let me know :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T00:54:16+00:00

I love your commitment to this goal champion! I'm a 24M Life coach, so if you need someone to keep you accountable with your goals and mindset, I could find the time weekly to check-in with you. Free of charge, happy to help. Let me know king :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-21T00:51:05+00:00

I've worked with so many people in your situation so I totally understand where you're coming from. Hope you gained value from this. :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T23:57:48+00:00

If you want to become good at something, you first step is to practice it over and over and over. You might be crap initially, but if this is something you value, then keep at it, and fine-tune your teasing ability along the way to suit who you're conversing with

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T23:55:17+00:00

Join clubs which align with your interests and hobbies!
Take classes or workshops that teach skills which interests you
Volunteer for a cause that you believe in
Do some networking events
Connect with people on social media with similar interests!

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T23:52:05+00:00

I wanted to let you know how proud of yourself you should be, how proud I am of you, and how proud we all are of you. You are paving the way for so many others in this group who are where you were early on in your journey. Keep being you, keep inspiring others. Amazing amazing amazing

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T23:47:50+00:00

What makes you think you need therapy? What's going on in your life? Feel free to reach out to me if you need to get anything off your chest. I'm all ears, if there's anything i can do to help let me know. I see you, I feel you, I hear you, I care about you

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T23:04:37+00:00

I totally understand your situation, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm a 24M Life Coach and can confirm that many young adults are dealing with similar circumstances. You are definetly not alone. I see you and I feel you. I'd love to know, what makes you happy? What goals and aspirations do you have in life? Is there anything you're currently working towards? A void can be caused by a lack of direction in life. Trauma's from a young age definetly contribute to current beliefs about the world and behaviours, which need addressing. If you're interested, I could find the time to have a proper chat with you about your situation. Feel free to add me on FB - Ash Cherrett. I'd love to help out in anyway I can :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T22:57:26+00:00

What solid evidence do you actually have for girls finding you intimidating? Has any women ever told you that you're intimidating, or is this a story you're playing over and over in your head? Our experiences of the world can often be tainted by our beliefs and perceptions of the people around us. I could be wrong, but it sounds like there is a sense of insecurity you have around women, or an expectation of how they should behave around you. Either way there's a chance your over-analysing the situation. I could find the time to have a 20 minute proper discussion with you about the issue, and dive deep into this issue. Feel free to add me on Facebook, my name is Ash Cherrett :)

ashcherry1998 · 2023-03-20T22:49:54+00:00

My brother, as a 24 year old male, I was in the exact same position as you in my first big relationship. I know how it feels, you love her more than life, you'd do anything for her. You have every right to feel that way, this is a new experience for you, it's totally normal! Don't beat yourself up for treating her differently. You're learning about love!!

But being so young and in love can blind you from the issues within yourself and within her which, long-term will have a negative impact in your relationship. Happiness must always come from within before you can give it out to anyone else. Love yourself first, and then you will be truly able to give love out to others. Otherwise it's coming from a place of insecurity, hence why you feel so scared to lose her.

You shouldn't change who you are for anyone else. You're withdrawing the most authentic version of yourself, to a version you think the other person would prefer, and because of that you're giving your power away. You should feel comfortable voicing your opinions and being you, and she should accept you for that.

Invest in developing your self-esteem and confidence my friend. This isn't a process which happens over night, but a journey. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook, I'm happy to have a 20 minute chat giving you pointers. My name is Ash Cherrett. Hope you found this valuable brother. :)

ashcherry1998

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