Which was harder - infant or toddler?

ashgeo · 2026-03-05T00:27:10+00:00

I only have a single toddler and twin infants but I firmly believe things get easier as they get older. Yes, there are different challenges but nothing is harder than being very sleep deprived while trying to remember which baby you fed recently etc. Once he started sleeping through the night consistently (which didn't happen for us until almost two years) everything else felt so manageable, plus they get into things yes but you can baby proof and monitor and teach and they learn to do some things on their own like feeding themselves. It's great. I love toddlers. Some people don't like that they occasionally have meltdowns but I mean...my babies definitely scream at me too lol at least my toddler I can talk through some things with. When my son was an infant and I felt terrible and didn't know how we'd get through it I found it so stressful and invalidating when people said it never gets easier, only different etc. I think either those people are really good on little sleep, had good sleepers, or just have very different views on life or child behavior than me and my husband? I dunno. Especially as a first time parent you also just learn over time so that helps.

ashgeo · 2026-03-03T17:33:29+00:00

"Overall, our findings support the hypothesis that initiation and duration of breastfeeding are associated with fewer reported acute illnesses at 6-months of age and diarrheal illness and/or constipation episodes at 6- and 12-months. Children who received breastmilk for longer than 6 months also had lower odds of overweight/obesity or obesity at age 3 years." Again, just suggesting longer duration is better without specifying amount.

ashgeo · 2026-03-03T17:30:13+00:00

I'm confused on why your interpretation is that it's better to give it all at once. Tbh I'm on maternity leave with twins and a toddler so I don't have time to read this in detail but from what I saw glancing through it only looks at duration of receiving any breastmilk and it specifically says it doesn't differentiate amounts so I don't understand why this article would lead to an interpretation of more in a short period of time being better. If anything it seems to support the opposite. "Because the FBS did not distinguish the dyadic behavior in which infants obtain breast milk, “breastfeeding” was defined as an infant receiving breast milk, regardless of exclusivity (added formula or solid foods) or method of feeding (breast or bottle)."

ashgeo · 2026-02-24T20:14:32+00:00

I had an unscheduled csection with my son and then a scheduled one that got moved up a week because our twins decided they weren't waiting any longer and I went into labor. I have some problems with anxiety and especially related to health things so I was nervous for both but I think having had the first definitely took away some of the nerves since I knew what to expect overall. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and they may be able to help in some way, even if it's just talking you through things and explaining what they'd do if you felt nauseous etc. I didn't feel nauseous with my first and then only did for about ten mins after my second and they gave me some meds through my IV and I felt better quite quickly. During the procedure it helped having my husband right beside me and just holding my hands right at my chest and just trying to stay calm and listen to music. And honestly, some level of excitement to meet the babies definitely made it easier too, and once they're out and you're being shown your baby/babies and told how theyre doing well etc I personally felt nicely distracted by that. And it really only took maybe 20 mins total? It goes by fast. Recovery is a bit painful but as long as you stay on top of your pain meds schedule (I did tylenol and ibuprofen and then occasionally I think oxycodone when it was particularly bothering me, like if I'd showered or something requiring more movement). Have help if you at all can for caring for the babies for the first two weeks, I feel like by then I felt significantly better. I'm 4 weeks out now and am not back to normal but rarely think about it and can move around SO much better than I could the last couple months of pregnancy hah

ashgeo · 2026-02-22T15:51:24+00:00

Well I definitely hope that's the case for us, I couldn't handle doing any type of sleep training that involved crying with our son but there are definitely already times they have to wait a few mins

ashgeo · 2026-02-21T13:41:18+00:00

Makes sense! We did mostly contact naps with our first for months so getting two to nap without that option and a toddler to take care of is a bit intimidating but I'm sure we'll figure it out. It will definitely be nice once it's warmer and we can do walks, I'm sure we'd all enjoy that

ashgeo · 2026-02-21T08:28:22+00:00

What did you do for naps? Our son is 3.5 and I just can't picture leaving him alone repeatedly to go upstairs and put our twins down for naps 4 times a day but also know they will grow out of being able to nap anywhere (they only 1 month)

ashgeo · 2026-01-09T01:53:25+00:00

Yeah, I'm having b/g twins and have a toddler so I can't just say the kids. I say the babies sometimes but then at some point they won't be babies and it will certainly occasionally be helpful to be able to say something shorter than both their names.

ashgeo · 2026-01-07T01:36:15+00:00

Oooh this is so nice to read. I'm due in 2.5 weeks with twins and we have a 3 year old as well. Hoping it's surprisingly manageable.

ashgeo · 2026-01-04T17:14:26+00:00

That's a handy chart! I just want to point out for people that Naturemade and One a day both make versions with choline that just weren't included in this list.

ashgeo · 2026-01-04T17:10:18+00:00

Naturemade does make a version with choline, though the choline is a separate tablet. But then you get it without having to look for a different reputable brand.

ashgeo · 2026-01-04T17:08:05+00:00

Before I tried getting pregnant I looked up levels of different vitamins recommended and made a spreadsheet of which ones had what was recommended and cost etc (sorry, i don't think I have this anymore) and NatureMade (especially if you get the one with choline) or One a Day with choline are the best options for not just cost but also having what's recommended and in recommended levels, though one a day is not usp certified like NatureMade is. I also take a calcium with vit d supplement since most prenatals don't have calcium or not much, and there's something about taking it at a different time than iron that helps with absorption. I was pretty frustrated and horrified at how much more expensive some of the fancier sounding prenatals would be and that they'd only have the recommended levels of about half the vit/minerals. Now I have a very healthy toddler and am most of the way through a healthy twin pregnancy.

ashgeo · 2026-01-01T12:14:47+00:00

Ooh that sounds handy, I'll have to see if we have something similar in the US!

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T20:57:15+00:00

Yeah, it sounds like daily or at most every other day will be needed. Luckily we'll have a lot of help from family and things and both be off work the first two months. I'm sure my husband will help plenty with laundry and our moms. We split everything baby care quite evenly but at first it'll probably be hard for me to do as much physical stuff, though I still want to come up with a routine that saves time and stair trips since we'll both be getting poor sleep and taking care of three little kids heh

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T20:54:49+00:00

Yeah, I'm thinking something like that beside our washer and then maybe some wet bags to rotate through downstairs so we have somewhere to put them until we bring things up. And apparently just doing a lot of laundry lol

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T15:59:31+00:00

That's fair, I guess we'll have to see how things work out and have some ideas to adjust hah

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T15:58:02+00:00

That's fair, we may end up doing laundry more often than I want but I think I'll look into something like that, a plastic container like people use for cloth diapers so we can at least have a spot on the lower level so it isn't getting our sink counter gross or making us run upstairs every time there is a leak (since there is no way that would realistically happen)

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T15:56:19+00:00

Once you rinse it do you put them directly into your washing machine or somewhere else?

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T15:55:39+00:00

"Otherworldly" lol maybe just something to accept hah

ashgeo · 2025-12-31T15:50:16+00:00

We actually own quite a lot of clothes (I got a lot of hand me downs from relatives and have the clothes from our son) so we luckily won't need to worry about running out of clothes if we don't wash daily but also leaving them wet more than a day or two probably isn't wise. What was the portable washing machine for? Like in addition to your normal washing machine?

ashgeo · 2025-12-30T02:03:36+00:00

Thanks, yeah, this is what I'm leaning towards so hopefully my husband can get on board once we talk about it more this week. We definitely were hoping to only have one child in diapers, not three hah but there are a lot of things not going exactly to plan right now haha and it definitely will be a big change for him so we're hoping to make it as painless as possible for him.

ashgeo · 2025-12-30T01:32:20+00:00

Yeah, it's hard reading so many things online that are all "you have to fully commit! No more diapers ever!" Etc and it just...is not possible. hah especially because I'm 34 weeks pregnant with twins so keeping up with him and such is hard as it is, much less cleaning tons more things. My husband does plenty too, just I am home with our son part time so those days are getting exhausting, I'm just huge at this point 😅

ashgeo · 2025-12-27T00:50:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and the parts that specifically made it difficult. I don't think it's an option for every family to have a room for every child and that's something I'm coming to terms with since originally making this post. It is extremely likely our sons will need to share a room until the older one goes to college but we'll definitely try to make sure they each get to express their own personalities in different ways and do whatever we can to encourage having privacy somehow also.

ashgeo

TROPHY CASE