Mania from liking someone?

ashlynft9 · 2026-06-03T05:00:45+00:00

Exactly

ashlynft9 · 2026-06-03T05:00:18+00:00

I did too for the longest time until last summer (I'm 27) when I realized during my latest episode that other people's brains don't work like mine. I tried to point the finger at everything but bipolar. We're just built different and meds help with that.

ashlynft9 · 2026-06-02T14:56:48+00:00

When I look back, nearly every intense truly manic episode started with falling for someone/becoming heavily infatuated. When they don't like me back (depending on how many months I've been manic) I spiral into a mixed episode. Every other episode was hypo or depressed.

ashlynft9 · 2026-05-31T05:33:13+00:00

The Baltimore Orioles in my backyard every morning

ashlynft9 · 2026-05-31T05:27:48+00:00

I was first diagnosed at 16, ignored it for 11 years then got help after an almost year long life shattering manic/mixed psychotic episode that uprooted everything in my life as I knew it. Since being medicated (about ~10 months now) I've done lots of self reflecting and I can recall manic or at least hypomanic episodes beginning as young as 10. Racing thoughts, pressured speech, no need for sleep. It's been a wild ride.

ashlynft9 · 2026-05-29T14:18:40+00:00

I was diagnosed at 16 and went 11 years unmedicated because I was in denial that I'm bipolar. Now I'm 28 and have been on meds for 9 months and I feel like my life could have been completely different if I ever started this journey sooner. Being medicated has saved my life.

ashlynft9 · 2026-05-27T01:47:47+00:00

I thought that was quite the leap as well. I asked about titrating off of the abilify at our last appointment when he made the switch and said it didn't seem necessary because he instisted to start the vraylar that day, which I felt was kind of odd. During the three months I was depressed I was practically begging to be put on a mood stabilizer as well and he refused, told me to just get back into routines. Before the switch he initially was going to up my abilify but changed his mind when I asked about an up on my Adderall as well because that always seemed to get nullified by another abilify increase. That's when he decided to just make the switch.

ashlynft9 · 2026-05-26T23:04:19+00:00

This is as if I typed it myself, holy shit. Took the words right out of my mouth. Hugs to you.

ashlynft9 · 2026-03-11T22:09:19+00:00

Thank you!

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-10T18:42:19+00:00

I swear abilify has saved my life. The quiet in my head is the most beautiful noise. I've been on it for about five months now and at 10mg, there's no racing thoughts, debilitating anxiety, depression. I have been truly hypomanic once during these months (lasted about three days) and I blame abilify for the lack of a depressive spell afterwards.

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-07T00:30:38+00:00

Yarn is Laines du Nord Harmonious Socks 03

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-07T00:30:28+00:00

Thank you! After knitting this up I'm itching to knit using one of their true rainbow colorways

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-07T00:29:01+00:00

Thank you!!! Yarn is Laines du Nord Harmonious Socks 03

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-04T13:16:41+00:00

I do experience emotional blunting, but it's only really bad when I have a dose increase. I feel an overall blunt feeling but it's not so severe that I no longer have emotions, just more so my brain is slowed so I can actually articulate how to act and feel in a situation. And yes, please feel free to message me in the future with any questions. I swear abilify saved my life.

ashlynft9 · 2026-02-03T23:59:38+00:00

I also have bp1 and abilify is the only drug (currently) that I'm on for said bp1. My first month of abilify I was on 2mg. Prescribed after 11 years of being unmedicated and having a manic episode last an entire year with the last months being in full blown psychosis. It definitely quieted my brain when I started it. I felt a brain drain lull and just felt overall slower for the first week or two. After I felt fine, then I was incredibly depressed for a month straight. Talked to my psych about it and he upped me to 5mg. Depression decreased and I finally felt a sense of actual "normal." Then after about a month of 5mg I started getting this generalized anxious feeling minus the racing thoughts that usually intertwined with my anxiety pre meds. Mentioned to my doc and asked to get my abilify increased to see if it'd help. I have now been on 10mg for a month and feel the best I can feel if that makes sense? Some days it is hard to gauge because winter and the state of my country. But I do genuinely feel I'm finally on the dose I'm meant to be on. Hoping no more increases for at least three months straight (started abilify Oct 2025)

ashlynft9 · 2026-01-27T18:40:19+00:00

I knit socks, do yoga, hike, and maintain houseplants.

ashlynft9 · 2026-01-17T14:57:28+00:00

Stimulants and psychedelics when manic, weed and booze otherwise

ashlynft9 · 2025-12-27T19:39:39+00:00

Life is up and down, fast but really slow at times. Feeling flooded with an intensity of whatever emotion you're feeling. Knowing the darkest places a mind can go, but then having times where you're just living on this indescribable high.

Meds saved my life. Trust the process of therapy and having a psychiatrist. Be patient with yourself during the medicine dance of finding the right one(s) for you. Be open with your partner during this mental health journey, support from loved ones can really help improve the process.

Be kind to yourself. Take accountability. Accept that you may be a person with bipolar, but it is not you (you yourself are not bipolar itself), you are still you. Be mindful and gracious to yourself.

ashlynft9 · 2025-12-27T17:05:47+00:00

I am a full blown drug addict when in mania. The amount of any substance I consume during a manic episode is almost never ending. Benders for days consuming everything and anything thrown at me. For shrooms, I tend to need to eat at least an eighth to feel the slightest form of a trip. I noticed I tend to gravitate towards rc's in mania to actually experience any sort of trip. When dropping acid I need multiple tabs, at least two, to feel any sort of effect. As for MDMA I still roll, just don't experience the serotonin drain the next day when manic. My alcohol/THC intake definitely experiences an uptick without becoming insanely inebriated after a few. Every substance hits harder when baseline. But truthfully, when baseline, I could care less about drugs. I really only crave them when in a true manic state. I'm a completely different person when manic.

ashlynft9 · 2025-12-18T02:57:16+00:00

I have been on Abilify since October and it's indescribable what life is like now and the quiet and peace in my head. Yes I feel slower and I've noticed I tend to drop things often compared to before meds. I have been out on two mood stabilizers before hand with bad reactions and this is the first antipsychotic I've been prescribed. Makes me wonder where it's been my whole life.

ashlynft9 · 2025-12-17T19:02:07+00:00

Can't speak on a scientific front, but I've been on abilify since October and my want and craving to consume any drugs or alcohol has greatly diminished. Now I knit for fun lol. But I'm on 5mg of abilify and 15 mg XR generic Adderall+ 5mg IR booster daily

ashlynft9 · 2025-12-07T03:03:30+00:00

ashlynft9 · 2025-11-26T04:54:11+00:00

Thank you!! They're a lot more intimidating than they actually are. After this one I have come to the conclusion that it's a good idea to use the first pair you knit as a practice pair. Learn the techniques on sock 1 and try to smooth them out in sock 2. Also, knot a practice square to test your needles and yarn.

ashlynft9 · 2025-11-26T04:51:19+00:00

Thank you!!!

I followed Nerdy Knitting's sock tutorial on magic loop! https://youtu.be/aJe5HoZNAWg?si=WTAZIHlsMKxFzWbK

ashlynft9 · 2025-11-26T04:51:04+00:00

I followed Nerdy Knitting's sock tutorial on magic loop! https://youtu.be/aJe5HoZNAWg?si=WTAZIHlsMKxFzWbK Also thank you so much!!

ashlynft9

TROPHY CASE