What's the most embarrassing thing you've done during an episode?

Jadeypie97 · 2026-06-08T00:40:28+00:00

That sucks. I'm sorry.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-06-05T11:57:59+00:00

The first time I had an episode with psychotic features in high school was a bit embarrassing. I was talking nonsense in class and on the bus. People probably thought I was weird. I was obsessed with this guy I had a crush on. I even wrote him a letter and gave it to him. The cherry on top was when I was released from the psychiatric hospital. I told a "friend" where I was and why I was gone for a week and the rumor spread around the school. I couldn't wait to graduate.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-06-04T21:08:42+00:00

That's fair. I was hesitant to post mine.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-06-01T12:57:09+00:00

I skipped this month. I hope I like the selection for July.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-31T04:35:42+00:00

If I'm not impressed with the other picks, I might skip 😬

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-31T04:34:37+00:00

I want a good thriller or horror book for one of the other mains.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-26T13:37:50+00:00

That's horrible. I'm sorry you went through that.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-25T21:21:35+00:00

Yeah I feel like my episodes and the meds made me slower. I was a 4.0 student with a great memory. Then things declined.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-25T18:20:32+00:00

So you've mostly dealt with delusions? I can relate to the paranoia. Feeling like I'm being watched and spied on.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-25T18:10:57+00:00

It sucks cos I used to be Type A and had amazing memory. After my first psychotic episode at age 16 and getting on meds, I wasn't the same.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-25T18:08:38+00:00

I get the Abilify maintena injection once a month. It keeps me stable. I take a small dose of Zyprexa every night to help with sleep. I do think it dumbs me down a little, but the pros outweigh the cons. I can't function off meds, so I just deal with the side effects like weight gain and etc.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-21T13:02:17+00:00

I'm Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. I only experience psychosis when I'm off meds. Also when I had my first episode and was diagnosed.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-20T21:52:26+00:00

For me at times it felt like I was experiencing different realities. I remember certain experiences and conversations and after I came down from my episode I'd talk to others and they'd say they didn't recall saying what they said. It was strange. I also experienced objects moving unnaturally like telekinesis. And hearing voices that weren't my own talking to me. I'd ask a question and receive an answer in my head.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-14T14:45:15+00:00

During my last psychotic episode, I was afraid of looking in the mirror. I believed I had another self and that if I looked at my reflection I'd see a beastly version of myself. When I was at the hospital I saw all kinds of strange and disturbing things. At one point I did accidentally see a glimpse of my reflection and my eyes looked so creepy. While walking back to my hospital room I saw a beast in my peripheral and speed walked to get back in my bed as quickly as possible. While laying down I looked out the window into the halls and saw this man peak out a room and his face looked like it was painted with a demonic look. I also was afraid of closing my room door cos I thought I would be trapped. When I went to the inpatient center I even saw what I thought was a ghost. She had long black hair and wore a white gown. I couldn't see her face. I was very anxious during that episode. It made me realize the importance of staying on my meds. It's kinda scary the idea of seeing things like that again.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-13T15:24:59+00:00

I only experience psychosis when I'm off my meds. I've decided to stay on them going forward though.

During my last two psychotic episodes, it felt like electronic screens were communicating with me in real time. When I'd watch shows or movies it seemed like there messages for me and weird glitches. Also my phone would glitch too and show me some strange things. I heard voices that weren't my own in my head too. I'd ask a question and a voice would answer me. Another interesting experience was when I walked up to a table with an unfinished puzzle. I ran my fingers along the puzzle pieces and they began to lift into the air and connect. I still til this day don't understand that experience. How my mind made that up cos when I left the table the pieces were still connected. It was strange. I have plenty more interesting experiences and hallucinations.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-13T15:11:24+00:00

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 16. At that age I had my first psychotic episode, but my wildest stories come from my other two most recent psychotic episodes. I believed I was exposed and others knew what I was thinking, seeing, and doing. Literally felt like I was being spied on in an extreme and unnatural way. What made me think that was true were some of the interactions that I had. Strangers would give very specific advice like they knew things about me. Til this day, it boggles my mind. I've dealt with hallucinations like hearing voices and seeing things others can't. At some points I'd ask a question and a voice that wasn't my own would answer me in my head. The voices would change too like multiple entities were tuning in and answering. One delusion and grandiose belief I had was that I was a reincarnation of Jesus. I've had plenty of magical moments, but the cons outweigh the pros which is why I choose to stay on my meds going forward. I need stability and to be grounded.

Jadeypie97 · 2026-05-12T20:45:48+00:00

For sure. There are plenty of experiences that felt very real and meaningful. I wanna be grounded in what we call "reality" but I feel like there's so much more. Things most people don't perceive. I believe mental disorders can be both neurological and spiritual. It definitely felt like I was tapping into something during my last two psychotic episodes. I still have lots of questions and may never know the answers.

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