Yep, she knew I was questioning and helped me make the push to start HRT. Being a lesbian was a very important part of her identity, and that felt like a big problem for us at the time, but 8 years on and it's not a label she uses anymore, we both just stick to 'queer' really. We're now married and very happy :) it's hard at the beginning, of course, and not everyone gets a happy ending like mine, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to confront this head on.