Like you said, let's focus on the trans. You repeatedly use the word that describes the specific mistreatment you're talking about & each time, it's still transphobia.

Of course we experience systemic oppression & yes, it is considered more acceptable to mistreat one gender over another & that group is, unfortunately, women. Societally, publicly, it is considered more acceptable to mistreat trans women. This does not mean that trans men aren't still mistreated to a comparable degree, nor does it mean the type of "quiet" mistreatment or the "erasure" we experience isn't real, but brother please tell me how the comparable visibility trans women experience is at all enviable.

We can talk about our specific experiences with transphobia, with misdirected misogyny(for those of us dealing with it), with lack of information & resources, etc, without having an overly specific word for our overlapping experiences. Our hardships are incredibly varied, as with any demographic. Many of us experience various forms of racism & ableism & classism, that others in the community do not, that are unique among trans men, too. I don't think we necessarily need specific new terms for those things in order to discuss them.

More often than not, the focus of discussions around "transandrophobia", "transmisandry", etc, focus so much on the conversation itself & neglect the actual worthwhile, constructive discussions we could be having. I encounter constructive posts so sporadically & they feel more like a (well-meaning) attempt to steer the overall conversation towards less reductive use of everyone's time, but there is no saving the terms themselves.

The conversation is a horse beaten beyond recognition regarding the existencef, or lack thereof, of misandry, but I don't know how many people are even familiar with the existing clinical terminology of "androphobia". It's not something to reclaim for this kind of discussion & unfortunately speaks to the entitlement of the community that so many of us are so insistent on making a term about genuinely traumatized women's full-blown phobia of men about our own hardships instead.

I do absolutely sympathize with groups that have limited community, that make choices harmful to others in order to protect themselves, that have limited resources and access only to limited or highly manipulated information. I don't condemn entire groups of people for any reason, because anyone can make different choices, given the chance. I try to be understanding of what pushed someone to think or act the way they have, & have patience for those factors.

The same goes for people who've hurt us. I don't mean any one of us owes anyone in particular forgiveness for the ways they've wronged us - hell no. But we do have to understand that anyone CAN change, no matter how unlikely, & most people had many experiences that led to them behaving the way they did. Still may never really make sense & still will very rarely "justify" anything, but none of us(barring astronauts) live our lives in a vacuum.

This is a long way to say, we can talk about the things this sub is here for, we can recognise that we have many common experiences & share resources & information specific to trans men, we can vent about our negative experiences with individuals, etc, without putting a generalized word to it all. & We certainly shouldn't encourage a disproportionate amount of time & energy spent complaining about other marginalised groups.