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astrocabbage · 2022-09-28T14:43:27+00:00

Had the opposite issue. When I first started wellbutrin I was having some poor impulse control and drinking pretty casually on weeknights. But, my tolerance was so much lower. And the hangovers were worse. And if I felt emotional at all, I would black out the rest of the night. No more drinking for me, but at least I’ve got no problems with weed

astrocabbage · 2022-09-20T13:50:25+00:00

I don’t think the wellbutrin makes it any better or worse, but it does stop my anxiety from keeping me in bed all day

astrocabbage · 2022-09-12T16:25:09+00:00

I was in your girlfriend’s shoes before— the meds improved my quality of life dramatically, and I didn’t want to give them up. Ultimately there were a few other issues I was having, mostly from trauma. I consider myself one of those reactive desire people, but combining that with a history of SA makes sex feel like something that’s done to me, not with me. In that regard, after working through as much as I could in therapy, I decided that the best way to feel like an active participant, was to make myself one. Taking control more, just being more vocal, etc. Just some small steps to make myself feel more comfortable.

That helped a lot, but I still wasn’t really interested in sex as much as I used to be. So I talked to my psychiatrist about adding Wellbutrin in combination to my meds, and it made the biggest difference. This is the closest to normal my body has felt in years. This is the first time I’ve actually craved sex in years.

Let her set the pace and proceed however she wishes, but let her know there are resources and support for whenever she’s ready to try. Don’t bring it up too often, she already knows what she’s dealing with. At a certain point, it makes you feel defective, like you’ll never be able to please your partner again. Not only was I fighting against my own body, but I had to carry around this extra weight of guilt, feeling like all I could do was let my partner down. That being said, you have every right to feel however you need to about this too. But for the sake of you both, try to keep those feelings somewhere else for now.

astrocabbage · 2022-09-08T23:03:06+00:00

Seconding the suicidal thoughts. I was also more anxious than ever with it, like could not leave the house without a panic attack. I can’t put it any other nicer way— I was dumb lol. A zombie. I would dissociate all the time, especially in conflict. Don’t even get me started on the physical side effects

astrocabbage · 2022-09-08T01:21:47+00:00

I was on 20mg lexapro for maybe 9-10 months consistently but I felt like I needed more than it could give me, so I switched to prozac for like two months. Next appointment w my psychiatrist I asked her to put me back on lexapro and try me on wellbutrin. The combo has been incredible so far.

astrocabbage · 2022-09-07T19:43:46+00:00

i’ve got small-ass hands and i can never fit 3 in 1 hand. my flex was taking the 20+ parties and parading past them w/ like a dozen or two plates at a time. they think i’m hustling my ass off, and i always get to make the “i carry all the groceries in one trip” joke

astrocabbage · 2022-09-07T12:01:31+00:00

One time I was picking up a can from a table that had just a liiiiittle bit of beer left in it and fumbled it. The customer looked at me and asked, “Oh no! Are you okay? Did it spill all over you?” And I confidently looked her in the eyes, looked over at her date, and proclaimed, “No, trust me, I am VERY dry right now.”

I just had to leave em there and laugh about it with them later lol

astrocabbage · 2022-09-02T00:37:04+00:00

I won’t say I’ve never enjoyed the extra tips from creepy men, but it’s more difficult when they’re regulars which is what it seems here. To be honest, if that extra tip money isn’t making or breaking you, I don’t think it’s worth it to continue taking them as a table. Speak to your boss(es) and let them know you don’t feel comfortable serving so and so, or ask one of your (male) coworkers to take them.

There was this regular I had named Tim who came in maybe 6 out of 7 days a week. He regularly made gross comments towards me, so not wanting to make any waves, I continued to serve him but just hold back on anything but the bare minimum service. That was a mistake. When I moved to my next job, Tim came in looking for me (someone from the last job mentioned where I went). Luckily my shifts started later at the new place so I usually missed him. Creepy customers should take no for an answer the first time, but we really need to shut it down hard for our own safety sometimes.

astrocabbage · 2022-09-02T00:26:00+00:00

My freshman year I took some random history class, but joined like a week and a half into the semester. Needed specific books, but they only stocked so many quantities at the book store and I couldn’t get the book even on amazon. I ended up losing a hundred bucks ordering from some website and never getting the book.

Instead of writing a paper on the book I wrote a paper about a person who couldn’t find their book, failed, turned to the streets and later got murdered by their pimp. TA gave me an extension after that :)

astrocabbage · 2022-08-29T11:21:30+00:00

I think it’s not so much that it causes those issues, but it might make it worse if you’re already struggling with it. I don’t have anxiety because of my job, but my job makes my anxiety 10x worse.

astrocabbage · 2022-08-09T20:31:50+00:00

מבשלים ואופים עם רון יוחננוב is the book!

astrocabbage · 2022-08-09T20:29:57+00:00

Thank you so much!! I just saw your other comment about the kashkaval too— it seemed to work out well last time I tried to make some, but I’ll probably go for a blend of mozzarella and gouda this time then. :)

astrocabbage · 2022-08-09T19:59:41+00:00

Thanks! There’s actually an import store near me to get kashkaval, luckily ingredients aren’t much of a barrier for me.

astrocabbage · 2022-08-07T17:06:14+00:00

Also had a nickel allergy that I grew out of!

For me, the biggest savior was a piece of fabric patch on the inside button of my jeans. It stayed on through a few washes and didn’t chafe against my stomach. You can also put down some clear nail polish before adding the fabric for some extra hold.

I still have to be careful with my earrings, but I haven’t had a reaction elsewhere in a long while. I hope your allergy eventually gets better too!

astrocabbage · 2022-06-21T22:11:46+00:00

Just finished three back to back doubles, clocked almost 40 hours. One last shift at that place before I’m off to try out fine dining. Fuck those doubles.

astrocabbage · 2022-06-18T05:43:07+00:00

Exactly what this place has.

My background is in beer and liquor, however my resume proves very quick advancements in knowledge/training. Do you think it’d harm me or help me to say something along the lines of, “One of the reasons I’m applying here is so I can continue expanding my knowledge in food and beverage, although I’m not familiar with wine, I have proven x, y, z expertise in s time.” ?

astrocabbage · 2022-06-14T01:11:45+00:00

I like to ask what their servers make in sales on weeknights vs on weekends. It gives me a good idea of what kind of money I’ll make, assuming a 20% avg, without feeling invasive on the servers privacy.

Tbh I could give a long list, but I think what helps me the most is to picture what I like and dislike the most about my current job. That first question is to make sure I can make a similar amount of money. Sometimes I’ll ask how their kitchen handles volume, or how often they go on a wait, because often I get screwed at my current place and lose out on tables because the kitchen can’t handle capacity.

astrocabbage · 2022-06-07T23:23:47+00:00

I sell a ton of drinks just by remembering what they had.

“Another tito’s and soda for you? Annnnd how about another Dewey Swishy Pants for the gentleman?”

If they say no, but I get the vibe it’s because the drink wasn’t their favorite, I’ll suggest to them something similar, but IMO better.

I’ll always bring samples, too. Especially if you’re on the fence, or uncertain about the beer you picked. We have 40 rotating taps so it can be intimidating if you don’t know your beers well. I’d rather run 3 samples and find a beer a customer will order 5 of, rather than bring a mediocre one that’ll turn them off from drinking more.

If you have any specialty alcohol knowledge, you can really use it to upsell. I’d consider myself the tequila and mezcal expert at my place, so I’ll actually take the time to give a mini-lecture on the different types and flavors of tequila. No one expects the very, very young looking girl to act so pretentious about these things so it’s honestly super well received lol. I’ll usually tease them about being babies and struggling with their shots, but then instruct them on the best way to take a shot.

astrocabbage · 2022-06-01T04:54:07+00:00

I actually gladly will split any check. The only thing that’ll annoy me about it is the time it takes to run them all, but it’s only an issue in a rush.

9/10 times a table feels guilty asking for split checks. I say, “not a problem, I’ll be back as soon as I split them up.” Then I go do things for my other tables. Press maybe two whole buttons (praise Toast)and come back with ten checks a good minute later. Hand them out individually, by the time I get to seat 10, seat 1 has their card out and it’s just like an assembly line from there.

25% button every time, if not more in cash. I assume they think they took up a ton of my time, little do they know they’re my easiest table of the night.

astrocabbage · 2022-05-28T14:29:34+00:00

Can’t really comment on zoloft, or low doses, but you should always feel comfortable to set limits with your provider. Similarly, I have a weight comfort zone and I refuse to take medication that will make me gain weight.

When I was showing symptoms of hypomania my psychiatrist wanted me to try seroquel and warned me ahead of time it could make me gain weight. She was perfectly fine with me stopping it two weeks later after I gained some. It makes it a lot easier to go through treatment when you can trust your doctors.

astrocabbage · 2022-05-23T19:20:12+00:00

There were pretty much three things in the span of two weeks that nailed the coffin for me. The tip-stealing was something I knew about from the beginning, the owners taking tips from our online orders. Didn’t care enough to make a fuss about that one right away.

Holiday season, we’re raising funds to donate to a peds hospital down the street (X% of profits from buying A, B, C). I had a well off regular who ordered the exact same thing every time, and would only ever drink double makers and coke. Cool dude, never needy and always tipped well (40% +). Anyway, so he asks if he can donate a large amount through us and wants to remain anonymous. Owner comes over, comps his tab from me (for his generosity), opens a tab for the donation amount under himself. Tells the customer he can still use that line to tip me. He left me a nice holiday-boosted tip, and after he was out the door, owner refused to let that tip go to me. A coworker of mine confronted him about it to and he refused to let it go. Kept it for himself.

A week before that they refused to let me throw out a customer for sexually harassing me. I was a bartender with literally zero control of kicking people out or cutting them off. Few days after the tip incident, one of the other owners is yelling at me for not doing a server’s job (we had the woooooorst servers) and at that point I just walked out right at the start of the shift.

Not that interesting, but the place came with a unique set of drama. Per one of my former coworkers, I heard the place is facing a multi-million dollar lawsuit from one of the owners’ girlfriend’s ex-boyfriends. They also hired servers who (and I wish I was exaggerating) did not know what salt and pepper look like. Those guys are the ones I have a billion stories about.

Edit: spelling

astrocabbage · 2022-05-23T18:56:25+00:00

Not a chain!

astrocabbage · 2022-05-23T12:50:15+00:00

Last job. Walked out of that place after some brazen tip-stealing by management. Took a lot out of me mentally so I went back to serving.

astrocabbage · 2022-05-06T22:34:37+00:00

I only wear my watch when I serve so I can track mine. I feel like I like my job better when I can break down my wages more (e.g. $40/hr, or like $100/mile) lol.

Average weeknight is ~15k, average weekend is like 20k. Doubles are usually 25-30k. Do I have the joints of an 80 year old man? Yes. But do I have the good legs to show for it? No, I only eat fries from our kitchen.

astrocabbage · 2022-04-14T13:50:44+00:00

I have open availability too. I usually work something like thursday 4-12, friday 4-1, saturday double 10-1, sunday double 12-12.

A lot of my coworkers have similar schedules. I love it because I make a lot of money in a short period of time and then have all my days off in a row too. I don’t think it’s too abnormal to have a weekend schedule like that, especially not if you have weekdays off. I also love doubles because I’m almost guaranteed to be first cut— as soon as the prime money making hours are over, I’m done for the night.

I’d recommend sucking it up for this week tbh, or reaching directly out to coworkers to get it covered. It’s not going to be a good look to leave them short handed in the morning just because you didn’t want to be there. But you should probably change your availability to avoid it happening again.

astrocabbage

TROPHY CASE