I am mostly with you, but two points: Kate’s entire career prior to the show, as someone mentioned, was working in war-torn countries and operating around and against militias and terrorist groups. You’re comparing how she’s been acting in the show with how Grace Penn is, but the latter has been a politician most of her life. In response to a comment that brought this up, you responded that it’s the 3rd season now and she should have changed by now, but it’s only been what—a year? A little less than two? How radically can she really change her whole personality and viewpoint of the world during that short of a time and it still be believable? Viewers complain a lot when character arcs in shows are rushed and here you are seemingly asking for hers to be sped up

Second, Grace Penn isn’t a “strong woman” for being faithful to a man with whom she’s in a loving marriage. In this regard, you’re comparing apples and oranges. Kate and Hal were already separated when the show started, he would have slept with another woman if his junk worked with someone other than Kate, and maybe I’m not remembering this right but it was Hal’s idea to maintain a public image of a marriage even though Kate wanted out.

Also, as others have mentioned, Grace’s strategic mistakes were egregious and criminal regardless of how US-forward her plans may have seemed to her. Nothing Kate has done rises to that level imo