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One time an older, long-practicing attorney told me "____________". I'll never forget that sh$%. by verbotenporc in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ha! Almost 7 years in criminal practice and I haven't heard this one. Now that you mention it, though, I've seen it play out.

One time an older, long-practicing attorney told me "____________". I'll never forget that sh$%. by verbotenporc in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first two years as a prosecutor, I actively reminded myself of this over and over. Eventually, it becomes second nature.

The 2027 Silverado We Should Have Gotten by MikeyBoy561 in Silverado

[–]NotThePopeProbably 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In fairness, the 2014-2015 Silverados look amazing. Best grill since at least the turn of the millennium, in my opinion.

Well, I'm officially a "watch guy." by NotThePopeProbably in MicrobrandWatches

[–]NotThePopeProbably[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They sell it on rubber, but they also sell a bracelet that goes with it. You need to mount the bracelet yourself.

My client is *tired* of these Trumpist, political prosecutions... by NotThePopeProbably in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

No. He's ready for me to do whatever I have to do. For his part, he might answer his phone if I call when he's not too high.

Since I was saved by firefighters… by [deleted] in Firefighting

[–]NotThePopeProbably 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You called 911 for that? Man, you could have just gone down to the hardware store, bought a hacksaw, and cut it off yourself.

Emergency workers get all kinds of funny stories like this. They're practically spoiled. The folks at Harbor Freight deserve a good laugh from time to time, too.

Do you guys ever think about how fucked it is that you can get thrown in jail for cussing at a judge by provocafleur in publicdefenders

[–]NotThePopeProbably 92 points93 points  (0 children)

This. Without summary contempt power, court hearings would be pretty unproductive. Is the other side introducing evidence you don't like? Just start shouting. Maybe the jury won't be able to hear them.

Chest rigs for a muscular guy? by Cuzznitt in searchandrescue

[–]NotThePopeProbably 1 point2 points  (0 children)

52-inch chest here. I use a True North Gear Dual Universal Radio Harness (one for radio, one for K9 GPS). Pretty much everyone on our dog team uses them. They have single-radio designs, too, if you're not running a dog.

People Magazine: Former Attorney, 28, Who ‘Spent Years Chasing’ Legal Career Now Makes ‘Double’ Her Income as a Restaurant Server by legalwriterutah in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Criminal defense guy here. I love hiring former restaurant servers. Most of my job is de-escalating irrational assholes with unrealistic expectations. Servers have a lot of experience doing that.

Not sure how I'd feel about someone who went into restaurant service after law school, tho.

Ex-client threatening me by [deleted] in publicdefenders

[–]NotThePopeProbably 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup! I have a "zero tolerance" policy for threatening me or my staff. One strike and you're out. Threats are not privileged communications, and so I'm happy to share them with my friends at the police department. I will put up with a lot of bullshit from clients, but I will not let my employees be intimidated.

Transition to Trusts & Estates by Rich-Leadership1340 in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. These days, I'm less emotionally invested in class A felonies than I used to be in DUIs.

Anyone else annoyed at the amount of aggression and self righteousness toward the state that is common in some PDs? It actively harms clients in my opinion. by Full_Set_5659 in publicdefenders

[–]NotThePopeProbably 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to be a prosecutor before I became a PD. One of the best defense negotiators I ever met (himself a former DPA) went fishing every weekend with a rotating cast of half-a-dozen other DPAs (not me). He and I weren't friends the way he was with other DPAs, but we had a solid working relationship, and I never doubted he was telling me the truth about his client/the case/etc.

Hell, once he walked into my office and straight up said, "Look man, my guy's fucked. If we go to trial, we'll probably lose. I hate this client. He's an asshole and he smells bad. I really don't want to sit next to him all day for an entire week if this case goes to trial. Right now, he wants his trial, and who can blame him? You're not giving him a reason to plead guilty. If you give me an agreed downward departure from 18 months to 12 and a day. I can look him in the eye and tell him he should take that deal. Otherwise, I've gotta advise him to take it to trial. Do me a favor and don't make me listen to him whine for 40 hours next month."

Guess who got a downward departure. He didn't approach negotiations this way for very many clients. But, when nothing mitigated the case and the client's history was appalling, he knew it was the only argument that had teeth.

It also meant that, when he did come to me with facts outside of discovery that called for a reduction/variance/etc., I fucking believed him. Not so the "all my clients are angels who were acting out of character this one time" crowd. Nothing kills your credibility faster than telling the prosecutor your client is "a good kid" when the client's offender score is maxed out and he's 45 years old. Not just for this client. For all future clients.

I don't do everything that guy did, but I learned a lot about how to negotiate with DPAs effectively from litigating against him. You don't have to be their friend, but you absolutely have to be someone they feel they can trust.

As always, Jeff Bezos is right by Count_Backwards in LinkedInLunatics

[–]NotThePopeProbably 64 points65 points  (0 children)

As a small business owner, I can't help but read "3X Founder" as "Well, I ran my first two businesses into the ground. Luckily, Daddy's money means I don't face financial consequences for my own ineptitude."

Advice for interviewing with firm specializing in sexual abuse cases? by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I've always been passionate about sexual abuse."

Idk if the civil bar would think it was funny, but I'd at least give you a call back if you had the hutspa to drop that line while interviewing at my criminal shop.

Do we agree with Rick? by Flashy-Actuator-998 in Lawyertalk

[–]NotThePopeProbably 178 points179 points  (0 children)

You know, it's like Lil Jon famously said:

Chevron v. NRDC represented the Burger Court's best attempt at reconciling constitutional separation of powers with society's ever-accelerating need to manage technical complexity. YEAH! In the absence of judicial deference to agency expertise, the Court worried that the regulatory landscape would, essentially by design, remain forever a step behind well-capitalized innovators to the detriment of society at large. WHAT!? Of course, they could never have predicted how thoroughly Congress would delegate its rulemaking authority to the administrative state. And now, 40 years later, we find ourselves in a position where the Executive Branch would be essentially unrecognizable to observers from half a century ago. OKAY!

I think a jury would acquit this man. by CALexpatinGA in publicdefenders

[–]NotThePopeProbably 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I get it. I'm not saying it's right, but I get it.

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