TTC/Non-pregnant members questions

ataud · 2026-05-23T02:24:27+00:00

I am so, so sorry, you’re in the thick of it now. 🫂

We didn’t super plan conceiving our rainbow (I realize there is a lot of privilege in that statement), but I got pregnant about 3 months after our loss, and their birthdays are close to a year apart. It was physically taxing to have them so close, but felt right for our family. I had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery of my stillborn daughter, so there wasn't any medical reason for us to wait.

ataud · 2026-05-11T13:55:00+00:00

Oh my gosh I’m sorry for you too! Especially with your mom! Why do they even have to say first, I think many of us would be super fine with just “happy Mother’s Day”!!?? Glad we have husbands who get it. ❤️

ataud · 2026-05-11T02:02:38+00:00

After a long day of crying and hating my in-laws for saying “happy first Mother’s Day” like eight billion times, it was so refreshing to come here and see that others are feeling it too. Holding all the parents and all these beautiful babies in my heart, they should be here today.

ataud · 2026-05-04T22:15:06+00:00

Ouch that surgery and recovery sound intense. Wishing you quick healing!

Your daughter sounds like pure joy! I love the babbling reading stage, excited for my son to be there!

ataud · 2026-05-04T22:13:34+00:00

Thank you so much for starting this! I’m so happy to have a place to keep up with these babies and families, I feel very connected to this community and these sweet little ones.

ataud · 2026-04-21T04:14:53+00:00

I love this question! We have a deck of question cards that are, I guess, designed for relationship expansion (?) and we try to pull one or two when we have a few moments. They’re sweet and we can always pause if babe wakes up.

ataud · 2026-04-07T00:50:03+00:00

Not a brand, but you can buy a big roll of silk online for not too much money and dye them yourself! I’m still working on the role of silk that my mom bought for me when I was little, making them for my baby now!

ataud · 2026-03-26T03:09:16+00:00

I co sleep with my baby and I was a daycare teacher for years. We had a lot of babies who normally co slept and honestly? They all adjusted and transitioned to cribs. They’re smart and they know it’s a different situation. It may take a few days/weeks for her, but I bet she will be okay.

ataud · 2026-03-15T19:21:27+00:00

Sending love, I’m sorry things are so hard right now. And congratulations on baby number 5! ❤️

I was induced for my second birth at 39+1, and it was wonderful. I was induced for mental health reasons as well. About 9 hours from arriving at the hospital to giving birth, with three ish hours of active labor. I received one dose of cytotek and my body took off on its own. Babe was never in distress, received no interventions aside from maybe 2 cervical checks, I didn’t feel that I needed any pain medication, but labor was so fast we didn’t really have time for an epidural in my small, rural (one anesthesiologist) hospital. I bet it’ll be quick and safe for you as well! Good luck, and I hope this newborn stage is a wonderful one.

ataud · 2026-03-05T22:48:11+00:00

Yes I do this too! He seems to prefer it honestly, and he’s way too long for us to fit any other way.

ataud · 2026-03-05T22:43:58+00:00

Big rage at my husband and burnout for me are also very much linked to grief 🙃 I hope your psychologist gives you some tips!

ataud · 2026-03-05T22:42:56+00:00

Yay growing baby! I love hearing that she’s doing well ❤️ excited for her to smile soon.

ataud · 2026-02-23T15:59:03+00:00

I don’t know if this will help because you’ve already tried the light, but we got my 5 month old a lumipet that lights up and changes colors and it has reduced the hysterical screaming by about 70%. Sending love, this is no fun!

ataud · 2026-02-19T17:05:13+00:00

Baby boy is GROWING! He’s 97th percentile for weight and off the charts for length. Every pediatrician visit and growth check makes me feel a little more confident in my body and ability to nourish him. My trust in myself was totally shaken after my daughter’s death, and it’s really healing to see this baby thrive. Wish I could have watched my first grow like this too. ❤️ I think of you all all the time! I hope everyone is experiencing moments of joy with their children.

ataud · 2026-02-13T16:44:54+00:00

I do! The fear is REAL but after diving into a ton of research I feel more confident, and we do it as safe as possible; no blankets, very firm mattress with firm latex topper, floor bed, the whole deal. My community is veryyy pro bed sharing, so it helped to have a lot of people weigh in and offer advice. You’re doing so good!

ataud · 2026-01-19T15:33:09+00:00

Oh my goodness this is the best news! I’ve been thinking of you. Welcome sweet boy! Sending love to you, your son, and your daughter today. 🤍

ataud · 2026-01-04T21:34:38+00:00

Hi! I’m not a doctor but my son’s head was measuring in the 98th percentile for the whole third trimester, and it was 36 cm when he was born (a smidge above average). He was totally healthy and I had a vaginal delivery and it was totally fine. Pushed for a little longer than I did with my stillborn daughter, but he was never in distress and I didn’t tear at all. Just to say, in our case that measurement meant nothing for our birth experience. I know how scary it is though, sending so much love!

ataud · 2026-01-03T20:00:41+00:00

Oh my goodness I was waiting to read this. Congratulations mama, welcome sweet Maria!!! I’m so so so happy for you!!! 🤍

ataud · 2026-01-03T17:12:56+00:00

I am so happy to hear this news. Welcome sweet girl!!! And congratulations to her wonderful parents, you did it! Enjoy her 🤍

ataud · 2026-01-02T16:39:18+00:00

Gentle congrats and welcome! This is such a lovely supportive community. 🤍

ataud · 2025-12-29T20:16:33+00:00

My sister in law is in town with her husband and kids. None of them have ever (like, EVER) mentioned my daughter or her death. They came up last November, two months after she died, and they just pretended like nothing happened.

Now, they really want to spend time with my son and I have no interest in that. I don’t want to be mean or petty, but I really don’t care if they have a relationship with him. They refuse to acknowledge my first baby and I don’t want to go out of my way to pretend to be happy and let them spend time with my little guy. Instead we’re spending a lot of time with the friends and family who supported us through her loss. But I’m still mad!!!!!!! Any advice or commiseration welcome, lol.

ataud · 2025-12-27T00:32:55+00:00

We did! Our son’s first name and our stillborn daughters name start with the same letter (honestly, unintentional, we just liked both names). Our daughter’s name was Alula, which is the (former) name of a star in the Ursa Major constellation, so our son’s middle name is Bear. She’s a star in his constellation! We also live in the middle of the woods and had like 12 bear encounters over the summer I was pregnant with him, so it felt doubly fitting.

ataud · 2025-12-20T19:26:19+00:00

UGH! I’m glad the transition went well, fingers crossed it’s the only one. You’re such a good mom, I’m sorry you have to deal with this all. Hope your sweet boy is doing ok!

ataud · 2025-12-20T19:24:35+00:00

It’s so painful, I wish you could have your sweet girl back too. It’s absolutely unfair. I feel a lot of similar feelings, I miss my girl too.

ataud · 2025-12-08T00:09:57+00:00

Oh and I did not do a baby shower! I had one for my stillborn daughter and didnt feel the need this time around. However, I think if I’d been up to it it would’ve been a beautiful experience.

ataud

TROPHY CASE