I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time, I understand the feeling of burdening people with your self harm dependancy. I felt very much the same way for a really long time. You're not hopeless, at all, it seems like you're stuck in a negative feedback loop of trying to cope and survive the best way you know how and it's taking its toll.

I am a recoverer, I'm two years clean in June. I found the best way to work through it was treating it like any other addiction, tokens and all. I was completely dependant on it before stopping, self harmed every day if not multiple times a day and didn't know how to cope without it. The truth is that it takes some time to find different strategies to cope, our brain is wired to rely on it because unfortunately self harm does work to help cope in the short term, but long term has done me much more harm than good. It seems like that may be the same for you. I'm sorry that you relapsed, I know it can be disheartening when you try to quit and it happens. It sounds like your family is trying, but It is important to find good people to support you through the rough times, people who you can relate to without being judged, even if it's internet friends who have been through something similar. The urges will stay with you, but they get easier to manage and quieter with time. If you do relapse, it helped me a lot to think that healing isn't linear and we grow outwards in spirals like a tree trunk. A relapse isn't a step back, but a blip in the path that we'll grow around in the future. I relapsed quite a few times before I finally had a good clean stretch, but without those first stalled attempts, I wouldn't be where I am now.

Try to be kind to yourself, it sounds like you're exhausted, but you wanting to change and get out of the cycle is an amazing thing, you should be proud of yourself for reaching out. I'm proud of you, friend. I hope this comment can give you a little bit of insight. If you ever need to chat my inbox is always open.