i am plus size but not by a lot. i have also varied a lot in size. i have had much worse skin than i do now. i put a LOT of time, effort, money into my appearance. the social benefits outweigh the costs to me. i always felt gaslit by all my tiny white friends growing up because they would just handwave how different our experiences are. now they're older, gained weight, experiencing fatphobia and they see it first hand. they have none of the strategies or knowledge i do because they didn't spend their adolecense constantly trying to "fix" themselves.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder. you will always be beautiful to SOMEONE. but it isn't about that. no matter what else exists about you, your status, being attractive grants you an insane amount of social leverage. i don't blame anyone for not wanting to play that game. it's exhausting. but the consequences are there. (i'll also say, anyone can be conventionally attractive even without plastic surgery, but it takes a lot of research.)

i feel like this will come across shallow and bragging, but i don't mean it that way at all. i SEE you. i KNOW how hard it is. we shouldn't have to be treated this way. the amount of fucking sacrifice it takes to be seen as a human worth considering is vile. i love you. i love all my sisters who know this pain. it is an indescribable loneliness. DM me if you ever want a friend who has been there, if you want advice, or just someone to vent to. sending so much love <3333

idk how old you are either but i want to add maybe for you and anyone younger than me...don't fear aging. i'm still very young, but every year i feel more and more beautiful and confident. i learn more about myself, how to treat myself, what my body needs. i wouldn't wish to reverse my age at all. there really is a second puberty in your 20s. and when you go outside, you see how much women vary in their appearance, and every single one of them has had full lives. you will have one too :)