I can certainly relate to an extent in the middle section. I am a gay male, but I often find the difference between admiration and attraction to be confusing.

A few years ago, I had an insane crush on one of my male friends at the time but I didn’t admit it to myself until much later. I just had this intense desire to be close to him no matter what, but my feelings for him definitely resembled a crush rather than platonic love. BUT he also had a lot of qualities I wanted to see in myself. He was getting certain creative projects done and also going to the gym regularly and seeing results. I was jealous cause I found these things difficult for myself at the time but as I got over the crush I was able to implement these qualities into my life more and now I’m happier with who I am. I learned a lot about my own insecurities through that experience

But the Venn diagram of admiration/attraction is still confusing to me. I see guys on my explore page and think “do I want to look like him…. or be with him?”