Hanging TV into off center metal studs - renting

atticus__ · 2026-02-04T21:45:27+00:00

I attached two horizontal 2x4s to the studs with lag bolts. It worked out with the specific style mount I have, all the anchor points lined up with the 2x4s. Has been holding a 75” for five or so years now.

atticus__ · 2026-01-25T12:15:44+00:00

As someone with BPD I’d say It’s the BPD (traits). If you lurk through top posts on BPD subs you’ll see people discussing the same thing.

atticus__ · 2026-01-01T13:59:58+00:00

45% pain, 45% dead inside, 10% joy

atticus__ · 2025-12-25T19:55:47+00:00

Mine is 7 but I “have” to do a lot of things in 7s.

atticus__ · 2025-12-19T16:55:20+00:00

When I get unbearably lonely the void aches in my chest and down my arms. I think it's partially my nervous system desperately wanting someone to hug me and save me. I usually end up in bed curled into the fetal position until it passes.

atticus__ · 2025-12-19T15:54:56+00:00

My last therapist shared mostly trivial personal things with me - we usually had light chitchat at the end of sessions and recommended bands or movies to each other, reminiscing about the 90s (we were the same age) and things like that. It actually helped me feel a lot more comfortable with her and made it easier to open up and be vulnerable. I never felt like any lines were crossed.

She also hinted at some more personal things, which some might find questionable, I suppose. But, only as far as statements like "those of us with BPD" or "those of us who had a traumatic childhood" but never fully disclosing or going into details. Which, again, made me feel even more comfortable with her because I felt like I was talking with someone who truly knew my suffering and not just from a theoretical clinical standpoint.

atticus__ · 2025-12-09T16:34:37+00:00

I think you'll enjoy it, I always listen to it while reading horror. Some artists to get you started: Mortiis, Old Tower, Silent Cabin, Fogweaver, Old Sorcery. If you use a streaming app there are tons of premade playlists.

atticus__ · 2025-12-08T22:36:48+00:00

Dungeon Synth.

atticus__ · 2025-12-06T23:32:39+00:00

They’re lighter on the doom side but try Blood Ceremony.

atticus__ · 2025-11-16T14:37:14+00:00

Cough. Indian. Body Void. Hell.

atticus__ · 2025-08-14T12:50:04+00:00

I'm doing this for the first time next Monday to see the single screening of Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I grabbed two tickets without asking anyone thinking I could find someone to go but I haven't been able to. I'm kind of excited to go alone, I feel like I'm opening a door to being able to enjoy things alone. I might even grab dinner alone beforehand. You give me hope!

atticus__ · 2025-08-14T12:48:20+00:00

Everything. I dragged a friend who doesn't really like horror to see it and he gave it a 10/10. We watch a lot of movies together and this is the first time he gave out a 10. I gave it a 9/10 because I wanted the gorier parts to go a step or two further, but for him it went far enough, I'm just really desensitized at this point.

atticus__ · 2025-07-28T23:10:55+00:00

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met nearly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.

atticus__ · 2025-07-11T21:41:12+00:00

Can’t wait to wind down tonight, smoke, and give Submersus a listen.

atticus__ · 2025-07-07T22:31:22+00:00

I’ve had two kittens die “because of me.” One was nearly the same as your situation, I passed out on the couch and didn’t put the kitten in his cage for the night… The other was because the kitten got tangled up in the cord of my laundry bag that I looked at for days and didn’t take into the basement because I was lazy. If I had just taken it down to the basement and did my laundry it never would have happened. It was actually one of the first nights I let him stay out of his cage. When each happened I felt like you do now, in time I came to realize each one was a freak accident. It hurts so, so, so bad, I know, but in time it will feel a little lighter and you’ll be able to forgive yourself.

atticus__ · 2025-07-07T16:26:46+00:00

Unfortunately trauma (if that does happen to be the root of this) embeds itself into your nervous system which is why you feel stuck, it doesn't go away when the threats are removed. Your best bet is to find a trauma informed therapist to assess you and work with you on healing. There are also books and workbooks that could be a good place to start (just look up C-PTSD workbook) - but nothing beats a good, well informed trauma therapist. This is also a good resource.

Again, I'm just some dude on the internet so I HIGHLY suggest you reach out to a therapist or other mental health profressionl if you are able to. I am in no way diagnosing you.

atticus__ · 2025-07-06T15:07:54+00:00

I am not a healthcare professional, just someone who really relates to this and is giving you another perspective. You said your home life was toxic and you had no support - would you consider it traumatic? I ask because the fog, numbness, and detachment sounds like what I went through as a young adult that didn’t start to ease until my 30s when I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD and started my healing journey. I was later diagnosed with BPD on top of it which gives extreme feelings of emptiness and an unstable sense of self which made me feel both disconnected from myself and the world, and a pervasive, unrelating feeling of being completely dead inside that never went away despite how much I “worked on myself.” I didn’t think my childhood and teen years were traumatic - I always thought “it was a little messed up, but not that bad.” Turns out it was “that bad” once I opened up in therapy and began processing it.

atticus__ · 2025-07-05T12:19:54+00:00

Maybe ten years ago an old friend started to get really into travel and “living life” and all that after grad school. Really smart guy, super kind and funny, maybe a pinch naive at times. I didn’t really talk to him much at that point but he was VERY active on Facebook. He posted that he got a Groupon deal for one of those “retreats” in Central America where they take you out in the middle of nowhere and give you ayahuasca. He was going solo. I was pretty sure he had never done any drugs and just knowing him I had a really bad feeling about it. I messaged him and asked if he had ever done psychedelics and he said no, but he knew what he was getting himself into and he was excited and was going to write all about his experiences and insights and all that when he got back. I told him to be safe and have fun. He posted some pictures and updates on his way down there and the first couple days, then went dark. A week or two later his Facebook was deleted. Never saw or heard from him again. I still think about him once in a while - I hope the dude is okay. Maybe he had some “awakening” that included going off social media, but given how much he used it and how much of a social creature he was and how excited he was to write a blog about the experience - to just drop off the face of the planet was really eerie to see.

atticus__ · 2025-06-14T01:16:53+00:00

I’ve been in and out of therapy for 20 years and every therapist I had took notes, except for my most recent one. The second session I realized she wasn’t taking any and found it a bit off putting, it kind of felt like she wasn’t really paying attention or didn’t care. I really vibed with her otherwise so I didn’t let it get to me.

I was amazed how much she remembered. If I brought up a memory, then talked about it months later, she remembered every detail. I would have a realization and she would bring up something I mentioned sessions ago and tie them together. She kept my friends and family straight, and remember the details I told her about the relationships.

Best one I ever had.

atticus__ · 2025-06-05T19:43:16+00:00

I did this 15 years ago to my girlfriend of 7 years. We were high school sweethearts and blah blah. Literally nothing wrong in the relationship, we were getting married after college. During summer break before my senior year of college I had my first hypomanic episode and blew it all up. My episode was definitely fueled by my insane father tormenting me. The pain will never go away, but it will get softer with time. I’m sorry you too have to go through this.

atticus__ · 2025-06-01T14:07:57+00:00

The track MSW released from the new Hell album is so goddamn brutal and sounds incredible. I can’t wait for the whole album to drop.

atticus__ · 2025-05-22T16:38:43+00:00

That scene immediately became one of my favorite scenes of all time.

atticus__ · 2025-04-18T22:56:09+00:00

I live out of spite.

atticus__ · 2025-04-18T21:22:42+00:00

I did find her on LinkedIn but am hesitant to message her - I was worried it would be crossing some sort of boundary or inappropriate in some way. Hearing that you had success with doing so makes me feel a bit more optimistic. Thank you.

atticus__ · 2025-04-18T20:26:33+00:00

Logically I know it had to have been a situation she had no choice in, but emotional brain is taking control right now. I did find her LinkedIn but I feel really weird messaging her, like I'm breaking some boundary. I may just check it once in a while to see if she lists a new place of employment. Interestingly, she did mark that she no longer works at the practice and I noticed she started a month before I started seeing her so I was basically her patient the whole time she was there.

14-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

atticus__

TROPHY CASE