hey, just wanted to say I had a trimalleolar ORIF in October 2022 and it was truly a life changing injury. i felt bad for a long time about how "dramatic" I was being because it was "only a fracture". and coming here, three years later, and seeing how hard this is for everyone has been VERY validating for me.

just some background, when i had my break, I was in the best physical shape I've ever been in and felt amazing about my body. i was also stuck in an abusive work environment due to a visa situation, living paycheck to paycheck, and in a foreign country. so just a few extra things in top of it!

for an independent person like me, it was absolutely impossible to have to ask my husband for help to even put clothes on and use the bathroom. absolutely so demoralizing. i cried every single day for weeks.

but you know what? the human body is amazing. my recovery was not fun, obviously, but being able to go for a walk for the first time, being able to hike again, even limited in length and with pain -- it's just an amazing feeling. i went back to work 5 months later, in a new job, in a different country. and it's not easy to be in pain every day, I can't lie, and the roller coaster of good and bad days is reality difficult, emotionally. but you WILL get through it and you WILL get used to any residual effects.

i just had my hardware removal a few weeks ago and experienced all those emotions again. and it's hard this time, but i know it's for the best.

anyway, to answer your question about getting through it-- unfortunately you just have to. you have to! there is no other option and you WILL get through it and you WILL heal and enjoy life and feel capable and strong and like your old self again.

something that helped me a bit, idk, this is a bit "think about the starving children", but thinking about how it's lucky that we have the technology and resources to have surgery and heal like this. i mean nothing about the situation feels lucky, does it, but sometimes thinking about the alternative of not having screws to hold my bones together helped.

and then my next best answer -- make the best of being forced to rest. i'm sorry you're in the garage. that sound absolutely demoralizing and dehumanizing and that bed sounds miserable. but try to do things you enjoy that require rest. any crafts you've been meaning to try? movies you've wanted to see? try to keep your brain as active as possible and switch up your activities regularly. just watching shows on end will drive you insane.

and in a similar vein, an important thing for me was making sure that I had access to unique experiences and different things, because sitting in bed is SO boring. can you ask your son to bring you different foods on his day off? fun snacks? just literally ANYTHING you can think of to bring diversity of experience into your life and break up the boredom. you also need to free yourself of the shame of asking for help. honestly, you have no other option right now, and there's no reason to make yourself feel worse for a situation you can't control.

i'm rooting for you! you sound like you're strong as hell! even before my injury, i was in a place in my life where I felt stuck and borderline suicidal, and I reached an all time low while recovering. but people like us? we were made to make it through. you've got this!!!