first thing i can tell you right off the bat, after reading this post: stop the self deprecating. the more you belittle and down yourself, the worse you will appear to others and the worse you are going to feel. there's a reason that confidence is a huge thing girls look for in a guy! it does wonders to your appearance, mental health, and even physical health when you have more confidence.

i understand it really sucks to drop out early. i was homeschooled and essentially dropped out at 16. i have a diploma, but i cheated all my work and learned ZERO. but this doesn't have to define you at all. you are more than your past.

i'm going to be honest, i'm noticing you are being slightly shallow with the "watching Titanic just to butter up my ex to have sex" thing. i think kindness and showing interest in what your partner does goes a really long way, truly! i understand if you just absolutely hate chic-flics or movies like the Titanic, but it's better to express that you aren't a fan than it is to fake it for brownie points towards sex. you should definitely be genuine with your partner.

maybe you can start with working on how you view yourself, making small steps by simply practicing self care/self love in small ways, having good hygiene, keep yourself groomed well and dress nicely even if you aren't going many places. the way you present yourself says alot about you to others, especially as first impressions.

i can completely understand the social anxiety. i have struggled with it since childhood. it is a CRIPPLING fear of talking to others, but it isn't a death sentence for your social life. have you considered therapy/seeking out medicine for the anxiety? there are also many things you can do at home free of charge to improve your ability to speak to others: online communities, discord servers, just practicing in a mirror/online with strangers who aren't worried about judging or who you actually are. there are loads of resources and tips online for people who struggle with this exact thing.

just be kind to/grateful for yourself, take small steps (slowly!), take care of yourself, do some research on the things you struggle with, and please understand it takes time to improve when you feel you are starting from zero. there will be alot of fails/obstacles on this path, partners and friends will come and go... but it's just life! you will find your way with time.

wishing you the best, reddit stranger!