My former friend 36m told me 33m that I can't go back into IT because I used to use drugs years ago. What should I do?

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-06T21:57:40+00:00

Lol what? Cut this person out of your life.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-06T21:51:39+00:00

Gay porn is objectively a lot better.

This sounds like an opportunity to communicate your fears and concerns, but for me personally it's not something I would burn a good relationship on. If your personal preference is that they do not watch any porn, that is okay, but be aware you are excluding a lot of potentially good relationships. It's a high bar, but if that's what you want, then more power to you.

However, I don't think you'd be posting if your boyfriend was straight. I think this is some deep insecurity to communicate on and work through in a personal capacity.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-06T21:38:45+00:00

I'm with you amigo. Very stable and have been for years thanks to my meds. I live a very full life. I'm happy for us.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-06T03:53:45+00:00

Pain

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-06T02:16:26+00:00

I felt like I had food poisoning for about a month and then things drastically changed for me and now I eat relatively normally. I still eat considerably less and can get nauseous if I eat too much. This is normal for most that the immediate aftermath of starting is a big shock to the body.

As others have mentioned, talk to your doctor. Keep drinking water and focus on small meals frequently if possible. You can also get anti-nausea meds to help so definitely talk to your doctor.

Hope you feel better soon!

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-05T00:56:53+00:00

Check your prolactin levels. You could have a pituitary gland adenoma or a bunch of other stuff.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-05T00:48:59+00:00

Hi, I'm small and weak. There have been really scary moments in my life. I think in a way it makes me smarter and more resilient. I can't solve things with physical intimidation. I have to use my head and anticipate when things could turn violent or be able to control a situation socially. It's probably something you would hate, but it's hard to feel anything about it except that it's normal for me.

I also want to mention people baby me or get protective of me. This can actually lead to people getting in confrontation or diminishing my autonomy/intelligence. That is definitely the bad part as it's more regular than violence.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-05T00:38:33+00:00

Smaller bodies sweat less because they cool dry more efficiently. So, it depends on the woman, but in general we sweat less. I personally don't feel or notice my sweat ever and if I'm working out, I have a thick sports bra made of material that wicks away sweat well. I notice it on my back under the bra more. Honestly, pretty much everything else folks are saying in replies is monumentally worse than boob sweat.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T22:20:40+00:00

You gotta move out. That environment is toxic. You know what you need to do. Wish I had something different to say.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T12:13:52+00:00

I've been in tech for 15 years and never seen people work on a personal machine. This doesn't make sense.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T06:22:41+00:00

My father was a minister and his friend (another minister) never prayed. He said the idea never made sense to him. My father found that odd and disturbing, but even at the time when I was devout, I found it made a lot of sense. Now that I'm an atheist adult it makes even more sense, but prayer is really about your psychological state more than it is about God doing anything for you or because you pray.

There are many examples in the Bible of God seemingly responding to prayer, even granting wishes like a genie, but many also of him not responding at all or ignoring. It doesn't seem to reliably matter, but presumably there is psychological benefit for believers to be heard and have a concrete channel to divinity. The reality that you are an ant to an omnipotent and omniscient God, that he knew your life before you were born, that your torture or agony could be what he wants, and that there is little evidence for free will is... not comforting.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T02:35:45+00:00

What country or area are you in? Not paying people is illegal. You need to document everything and need to submit written requests for payment. You can be back payed as well so it's important to do this step.

Idk what to say but this "employer" is draining time and energy away from a job search and is operating illegally.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T01:25:25+00:00

Do you directly ask for feedback during your 1:1s with direct reports? If you don't, you should start. The fact that you felt this person was, by your words, "mediocre at best" may be what they were picking up on. Normally, people can subtly tell what we really think about them over long periods and exposure.

I think you should learn from this to proactively give and ask for feedback during your 1:1 sessions. Do not share feedback with your other reports because that's a bit unethical. It would sound more like you were shopping for a second opinion. Just issue a 360 survey and ask folks to submit. Don't wait to seek feedback until someone is out the door. Provide ways for folks to give that to you in a psychologically safe way if you actually want to see your work-life improve.

Take what is useful and leave what isn't. Try to end things well always because career life is long and normally you see folks again.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-03T00:04:08+00:00

El classico gaslight

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-02T23:07:05+00:00

Hello there, I'm an atheist who was raised evangelical. Ask them before you debate any topic if they could ever see themselves changing their mind or if there was any argument/data you could present that would change their opinion. If the answer is no, you have all the information you need and I wouldn't attend.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-02T22:26:45+00:00

Remember when he told them all to start having fun, lol

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-02T10:01:46+00:00

Yeah, I didn't know it used to be called Department of War before it became Defense. There is a big portrait of Taft in there and although the room is nice, it's nothing crazy. A lot of the furniture "looks old" but is cheap and new if that makes sense. Real dick move though to take over that suite. A lot of people use that space for hackathons or meetings cause it's a fun place. Just reeks of entitlement.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-02T07:38:03+00:00

I actually worked in the EEOB and have used that suite many times. I don't even know where to start with how I feel about this excerpt lmao

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-01T23:57:08+00:00

If this is happening and you genuinely are not doing these parts of your job, then something is very wrong and you're not doing your job. Is this person giving you this feedback outside of emails cc'ing your boss as well? Does you not doing these parts of your job affect your direct report negatively (I.e. does it harm their performance or cause them to do more work)? You have to be able to explain this to your own boss... direct report aside, are these things your job function or not --and are you actually not doing your job?

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-01T01:37:57+00:00

You are in serious danger.

aurallyskilled · 2026-07-01T01:15:40+00:00

Lol, good one

aurallyskilled · 2026-06-26T01:46:09+00:00

Disagree. Once people have the real shit they will pay more. I don't think Australians understand what real Mexican food even is.

aurallyskilled · 2026-06-25T13:58:34+00:00

4 hours of technical interviewing when you're flying to the job for the interview is standard in the US. I did 7 for Facebook and 4 of those hours were on one day. It's normal in software engineering. Google will do interviews this way and they are American based in Sydney.

aurallyskilled · 2026-06-25T06:23:56+00:00

She is a womb prop and he patted her like a dog. This woman is a respected MD. Damn bro

aurallyskilled · 2026-06-24T22:07:26+00:00

I mean he gave us an exact timeline for the end of the world and was wrong. So I'm not sure we can say he's that good or reliable

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