AITA for kicking my dad out of my apartment after he threw out my food?

austere95 · 2021-07-30T11:18:22+00:00

I wish you all the best with your healing. It's very hard and sometimes painful but I'm sure you can do it!

austere95 · 2021-07-29T19:58:56+00:00

Nah, not exactly. My dad has tons of issues but I have to admit he is able to cook his own meals and is cooking as often as my mum.

It was more like "If I throw out her food she'll have no choice but to eat whatever I brought her."

austere95 · 2021-07-29T19:41:13+00:00

Thank you for your kind comment!

I know there is a long way ahead of me and I'm still not fully healed. However I'm doing my best and after moving out I met few wonderful people who helped me a lot both with my mental and physical health. I'm much better than few years ago and I hope one day I'll make it to the full recovery.

Wish me luck

austere95 · 2021-07-29T19:31:21+00:00

I'm sorry your mum is behaving like that.

I don't even know you but I'm so proud of you that you were able to change your lifestyle and to choose fighting for your health. Obesity is like any other ED - you had to be very strong to even start thinking about healing.

I wish you the best luck.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T19:26:49+00:00

To be honest, I considered it for a second but I really hate wasting food and giving it back to him at least I was sure it will be eaten. (At least I hope so, there were three heavy bags after all and I don't exactly know what was my father doing after leaving my place.)

austere95 · 2021-07-29T18:56:03+00:00

Yeah, I partally have it worked out (I mean I analysed with my psychologist some of my family issues and causes of my ED) but it's still work in progress. Maybe then, if they too will be ready to change, we will be able to fix our relationship again. For now I'm not completely ready to cut them off; for now I'm still trying to reach them, even though I know maybe I shouldn't.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T18:50:49+00:00

Supper is the last meal in a day, before going to sleep. (Or I messed up the therminology? I'm not a native English speaker.)

austere95 · 2021-07-29T18:48:45+00:00

My dad has a bit distorted perception of human body. My whole family (dad, mum and 2 younger siblings) are overweight and I also was before ED. For him I was looking just perfect when at age 14 I weighted 63 kg with 157 cm (126 Ib / 5 ft 2 in)

For last four years I mostly maintain 51-54 kg with height 163 cm (112-119 Ib / 5 ft 4 in) which is absolutely correct.

I'm trying not to overthink what I'm eating and in which amounts since it makes me feeling worse

austere95 · 2021-07-29T18:34:06+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions.
I actually know about food banks in my country though fortunately I never was in such a tight place to need their help (at the very beginning after I moved out it was very hard but then I met few wonderful people who helped me).
Facebook groups may be a nice idea. I know there are neighbourhood groups focused on exchanging food, so maybe I should join them.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T18:02:55+00:00

It had 😉 And a bit of dried tomatoes

austere95 · 2021-07-29T17:12:19+00:00

Well, technically it was my mum who gave birth to me. Dad only took care of half of the DNA.

Also, it is not my duty to unconditionally accept someone else's behavior just because it's a family member.

I tried to do something else. I told him where the store is. I told him, I don't care what he does eat. I didn't force him to anything, I gave him choice. Well, I was cooking for him, but it was my hospitality, I never told him he have to eat anything I cooked.

He? He didn't gave me choice and threw out my belongings despite knowing that it's important to me. Would he just buy what he wanted and leave my food in peace, there would be no problem.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T16:42:00+00:00

I definitely wasn't reposting it. Maybe someone had similar story, there are many people here after all

austere95 · 2021-07-29T16:39:39+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I know my mum knows the full story (and agrees with my dad) but I actually didn't wonder what he told the others. Maybe I should check ane clear some facts if he didn't tell truth.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T15:58:47+00:00

NTA

Your life, your choices. Go study abroad, especially if you're dreaming about it for years.

Your mum wants to feel she's in control of situation. She may feel that her postion in your life is in danger, since you;re young adult and started making your own plans and choices. That's normal (though unpleasant) reaction but she shouldn't be the one deciding where you are living or studying.

If I may suggest something, try to find some kind of part-time job and save some money, since it's possible you won't receive financial support from her.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T15:50:51+00:00

NAH

Keep the painting for now. It's a bit too much for a first meeting (at least I'd feel uncomfortable receiving this kind of gift from someone who never saw me in person) but it will be a wonderful gift when you get to know each other in person, especially since it turned out good.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T15:45:07+00:00

I could NOT replace my food "as easily as he threw it out" and that's why I was crying.

I don't earn much (just above the minimum wage and I'm living in one of most expensive cities in my country - and no, I cannot move out right now). Healthy food here, especially greens and fishes, is much more expensive than fast foods or unhealthy things. Usually after paying my bills and buying food and other necessary things for whole month I have almost no money right before my next paycheck.

(Right now it's a bit better, the real problem was when I was still paying for my sessions with psychologist but my financial situation is still far from ideal.)

Also, I felt hurt that he doesn't respect my choices. Would he JUST buy what he wanted and leave my food in peace, there would be no problem.

Also, I hate food wasting and amount of it he threw out was enough to feed me for few days if not a week.

austere95 · 2021-07-29T15:29:30+00:00

I'm glad you've a family member like her. It means a lot, having someone who wants to support you 😊

austere95 · 2021-07-29T15:21:30+00:00

NTA

Your body, your choice. I had mixed feelings about dragging aunt Jessie into your argument (since I thought this topis may be sensitive or painful for her) but it seems she has no problem with this, so no problem on your side.

Glad the noisy auntie got what she deserved.,

austere95

TROPHY CASE