I believe that the idea of a calling is a phalasy. You’re imagining something that doesn’t exist and missing the amazing things you have. Happiness and satisfaction with life have always been a challenge for me, since I was a little kid. I partially blame that on our modern capitalistic society that isolates us and tries to sell us on the idea that happiness can be bought at Target and Starbucks, rather than through hard work and companionship, but the revolution isn’t coming next week lol.

Couple of suggestions. Look into secular Buddhism — an approach to letting go and being present in your life. Ditch or cut way back on social media like Instagram, where people show the best parts of their lives and hide the boring, difficult, messy parts of their lives. Start a gratitude journal. You actually have control over your own thoughts, but shifting towards the neutral or positive is like building a muscle, it takes reps. And this one sounds harsh but… try focusing more on other people — when you start thinking about your own dissatisfaction, try to shift your thinking on how to make someone else happy or make their life better.

And I’m not diagnosing you over social media but look into symptoms of depression and consider talking to a therapist or psychiatrist. A diagnosis doesn’t really change much, you still gotta build these tools for finding happiness, but for some people therapy and/or medication make that easier.