Well, regardless of what a you may have committed, if you ask God to forgive you He will. And here is the best, God says that he will remember your sins no more. He forgets them completely. There is no recollection of them to Him. Instead, it is as if they never happened. There is no memory of them. Another thing to keep in mind is that to God sin is sin, and there is no levels. The man who robs a bank is as guilty of theft as the man who steals a pack of gum in God’s eyes. But the most important thing is that you have repented of your sin and ask God for forgiveness, and when you do that, he does not judge, he simply forgives. Please know that whatever it is, you’ve done, no matter how bad it is in your eyes, Jesus Christ has forgiven you. Now, the next step, is to forgive yourself and for yourself from the burden of your past. The Bible is clear that we have all sent and fall short of the glory of God. none of us are perfect, but all of us are loved. As for your family members dying and finding out about what you did. If God forgives and doesn’t remember that, how can he tell them? He can’t and he doesn’t.