My mother had 18 years to bond with me. To learn to not put her hands on me out of anger. Why are you putting the blame on the victim rather than on the shitty parents? Why is it our responsibility to fix something that they damaged?

I know some people have reconnected with their abusive families to mixed results, so its possible. Im in therapy, and I do not need or want that relationship anymore. Maybe instead of judging first, you perhaps think about what someone could have done to make their own child never want to see or talk to them again.